First Round NVe take care of N- ou• Bar Mitzvah Boys. III Sizo, llo ■ s • Alen An Unreal Ending I am officially announcing the demise of reality television. After serious study and observation, I believe reality shows will go the way of the tabloid talk shows a decade ago. Survivor, The Apprentice, Big Brother, Fear Factor and others will either disappear like Sally Jesse Raphael, Jenny Jones and Ricki Lake, or be relegated to late-night television like Jerry Springer. The tipping point occurred two weeks ago in three separate incidents. GM Off The Island In the summer of 2000, Survivor, the granddaddy of them all, first appeared and became an instant hit. The first winner crowned was Richard Hatch, a naked, fat guy who recently became a resident-survivor in a West Virginia prison for not paying taxes on his $1 million in winnings. Eleven other $1 million winners have been crowned in the past six years, and General Motors has been a major sponsor for most of those seasons, until this fall's season in the Cook Islands. The decision to pull sponsorship from what should be called Survivor: Klan Edition, was related to the steady decline in ratings, and not that this season's reality series will pit teams of whites, blacks, Asians and Hispanics against each other. Retooling Donald Trump's sidekicks on The Apprentice, Carolyn Kepcher and George Ross, have been replaced. Carolyn and George. were often seen advising the apprentices and sat in the boardroom as the Donald fired an apprentice to end the episode. Two new "advisers" will be hired when the show starts in January —his two kids, Donald Jr. and Ivanka. I watched last season as his children stood in for George and Carolyn. Ivanka and Junior — graduates of the Wharton undergraduate program at the University of Pennsylvania who work for Daddy — did an admirable job of advising the contestants when George and Carolyn were elsewhere. During each task, these "appren- tices," some of whom were self-made millionaires, seemed to take criticism from Trump's progeny in stride, wait- ing to actually "learn something" from Carolyn and George. I'm not sure what advice Trump's progeny can give to this new crop, except,"Treat Daddy like a star,""Don't interrupt Daddy" or "Keep Daddy's hair out of the wind?' Trump himself seemed to be phon- ing it in last season, not bothering to learn the names of some of the execu- tives he introduced. When the task was pro- moting a new sandwich, Trump introduced two Arby's executives with a dismissive, "Tell them who you are?' This will be The Apprentice's "sixth" sea- son since January 2004, which is why we should be Trumped out. Where Fashion Feels So Goo www.freeds.com 519-258-6532 1-877-5-FREEDS Idea Cupboard Bare A reality series based on the movie Snakes on a Plane is looking for contestants. I wish I was making this up, but, according to a craigslist.org Washington, D.C. listing, 20 contes- tants will share cabin space on a plane with 200 snakes, and five poisonous snakes will be part of the mix. Each person bit by a poisonous snake will be eliminated from the competition — after an anti-venom injection. The last person standing will win fabulous prizes. I'm not sure if that's legitimate, but it has to be the worst idea I've ever heard for a reality show, and it could be the beginning of the end for reality shows — the Jerry Springer Show of its time. However, I propose some fine tun- ing: "Snakes on a Plane: Celebrity Edition" might get some "buzz?' How eager would you be to watch stars like Tom Cruise, Paris Hilton, Star Jones and Kevin Federline on a plane with 100 poisonous snakes and no anti-venom on board? A bitten star must parachute over a hospital — or a commercial spon- sor like a Maybelline factory or an Outback restaurant — to get the anti- venom. The last star in the sky gets a cameo role on the newest trend on television: A Lost mystery series. Look around and you'll see a show based on a complicated, intriguing plot line and a large ensemble cast, all with mysteri- ous pasts. It's the new reality. D ARI FREED MON, TUE, WED 9:30 am - 6 pm • THU & FRI 9:30 am - 9 pm SATURDAY 9 am - 6 pm • SUNDAY 12 noon - 4 pm DAN ORMAN gi Month - Expires 9/26/06 Lease pull ahead...Get them while they last! DTS was designed to deliver effortless luxury, along with advanced personalization. From the moment you get behing the wheel, you'll know this is your performance luxury sedan. AUD ET TE 7100 Orchard Lake Rd., West Bloomfield Mon. & Thurs. h19; Tues., Wed., Fri. fil 6 OPEN SAT. 10 am - 4 pm C— — _ , ---1( t(61, (We'CI BREAK THROUGH 248-851-7200 www.audettecadillac.com Harry Kirsbaum's e-mail address is hkirsbaum@thejewishnews.com . *PLUS TAX, TITLE, AND LICENSE. MUST QUALIFY FOR S.A.B.C. TIER CREDIT. 39 MOS.. 10K MILES PER YEAR, S953 DUE AT SIGNING. *UP TO S1500 BONUS CASH. MUST QUALIFY FOR GMS. September 14 . 2006 9