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Celebrate Mother's Day with...
Menopause
Arts & En
r-
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pr
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The Musical®
The Hilarious Celebration of Women and The Change!
Visit us at the
Michigan
International
Women's Show
May 4-7Th and
enter to win
tickets to
the show!
•
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• • • • • • • • • • ••,
41b.
• Join us Sunday, May 14th
• and SI4OW MOM SOME LOVE.
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at'
$77 All Inclusive!
Includes a ticket to
Menopause The Musical, ® • •
and brunch buffet at the
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Century Grille
• •
THE CENTURY THEATRE • 313- c163-‘180 0
Ticketmaster 24g-645-6666 • www.menopausethe ► usical.com
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Hours: M-Sa 7am-lOpm or later!
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Fax: 248-440-0599
Breakfast Special Available
World's from page 59
Jewish-Catholic household, approach-
common concerns, the talk should be
es her subject with religious interests.
limited by understanding how their
As she describes the stages, Murphy
children would feel if they found out
covers the issue of guilt beyond the
about these discussions.
Jewish community — mothers who
The issue of privacy, she explains,
feel inadequate both because of the
begins to surface at age 9 or 10.
choices they have made and the jobs
Interest in others' families has
they are doing for family and perhaps
involved Murphy with two nonprofit
employers as well.
organizations. The Greyston Family
"Mothers feel guilty about every-.
Inn assists the homeless. Zero to
thine says Murphy, a Harvard
Three promotes the well-being of
graduate who was editor-in-chief of
infants and toddlers.
Parents magazine. "Women struggle
While giving timelines in covering
with the feeling that they can't do any- the phases she describes, Murphy
thing at the level they wish they could, goes on to say that phases are not
but it's the bar they set for themselves
necessarily clear-cut. She also main-
that tends to be the problem, not the
tains that all the options faced by this
bar that somebody else sets for them.
generation of mothers — working or
"For a lot of my Jewish friends who
staying home, embracing traditional
are more observant than I am, one
or nontraditional family structures
of the big challenges is the notion
— result in additional stress.
of instilling compassion and raising
"We don't walk a straight line when
nice children who don't feel they're
we're going through these stages,"
entitled to everything that they want.
Murphy says."There's a lot ofidou-
I think, in these kinds of situations,
bling back.
it is important to consider the ways
"Obviously, a mother with a 3-year-
values are being articulated and con-
old and a 7-year-old is in two stages
sequences [established for negative
at once. [Regardless of the situation],
behavior]."
every mother on the planet needs help
Murphy, a New Yorker who spent
and support, and I hope this book
a childhood summer studying art
provides both." ❑
at the Cranbrook Academy of Art in
Bloomfield Hills, advises that many
parenting problems can be prevented
Murphy's Laws
if couples discuss how they want to
• Be a mother, not Mother
raise their kids before there is any
Teresa: When you neglect your
pregnancy. Too many couples, she
own needs, you shortchange
cautions, think they can work out
your
kids.
problems at the times when they
• Watch out for the "Expert
surface, and that is not necessarily
and the Dumb Apprentice
productive.
Trap": Dads don't appreciate
"The kind of religious upbringing
or need micromanaging. Babies
our kids were going to have is some-
thrive
on different parenting
thing I struggled with personally even
styles.
though neither my husband nor I was
• Give yourself credit for find-
particularly religious before we got
ing
Lego Man's hair: Little acts
married," says Murphy, wife of pub-
of
caring
matter more to your
lishing executive Steven Murphy.
kids than getting through your
"Neither of us was going to convert,
to-do list.
so we struggled with what we were
• Give kids the gift of letting
going to do. We ended up talking
them stumble: Kids who never
about the elements of a spiritual prac-
learn to muscle through tough
tice that we felt would benefit the kids
times
are not happy campers.
and us."
• Know when you're in the
Murphy, who can cite studies that
wrong movie: Don't try to cast
show women have a basic need to
your kids in a remake of your
share feelings, says that women should
childhood.
think through what they are going to
discuss before discussions begin with
For more information, go to
family members and friends. Although
www.annpleshettemurphy.com .
moms can benefit by talking over