A young girl's destination celebration reminds
a family what a bat mitzvah is all about
BY SAMANTHA COHEN
PHOTOGRAPHY BY SAMANTHA COHEN AND N4ARS•A GORDON
Top to bottom: Rachel's paternal grandparents,
Marsha and Fred Gordon of Bloomfield Hills.
Little brother Eli, 2, tries his hand at the bongos.
Allen Cohen, of Naples, Fla., and Barbara Cohen,
of West Bloomfield, en route to their maternal
granddaughter's bat mitzvah.
THE ITINERARY
Debbie and Steve wanted to provide plenty
of festivities for their guests who had trav-
eled so far for their daughter. Here's what
they came up with:
Friday — Guests meet and greet at the
seafront restaurant of the St. John Westin
Resort, where most of the party was staying.
Saturday — Hosted by Rachel's grandpar-
ents Marsha and Fred Gordon of Bloomfield
Hills, an official welcome party was held
at Pastory Gardens, an outdoor restaurant
overlooking a botanical garden. After dinner,
guests were treated to a performance of
traditional Caribbean dance and music.
Sunday — A buffet brunch on the beach at
the St. John Westin Resort was hosted by
Rachel's grandparents, Barbara Cohen of
West Bloomfield and Allen Cohen of
Naples, Fla.
Monday — The big event: Rachel's bat
mitzvah at the Hebrew Congregation of St.
Thomas is followed by a pizza luncheon at
Italian restaurant El Panino. Later, some
family members accompany Rachel on
her visit to the Jane E. Tuitt School, where
Rachel gave students a presentation about
her bat mitzvah.
Monday — Guests bid farewell at a semi-
formal dinner with dancing on the beach at
the Westin, complete with a slideshow of
Rachel's childhood (thus far) and a steel-
drum hora.
just so impersonal," says Debbie, "They seem to be more about
! t is a familiar scene: While the rest of the family spins joy-
the centerpieces and the giveaways than about the meaning of
fully around her, the bat mitzvah girl is hoisted up on a
Judaism or family."
chair by her father and uncles.
So Rachel's parents embarked on a search for a way to
But this time, the old celebratory dance has a new feel. The
ensure that their daughter's bat mitzvah was an intimate, fam-
steel-drum version of "Nava Nagila" carries a semi-calypso
ily-centered affair, rather than a showy bash for coworkers and
beat, and everyone is kicking up sand with bare feet while
acquaintances. They considered holding the occasion in Israel,
repeatedly shouting "Hava-ne-ra-na-na" so that the West
but it seemed like an ambitious jour-
Indian musicians can learn the song
ney for older family members and for
as they play.
the family's 2-year-old son, Eli, who
This hora-under-the-stars was an
was recently diagnosed with diabetes.
apt culmination to Rachel Gordon's
When they heard about the
destination bat mitzvah on March
Hebrew Congregation of St. Thomas,
27, an event for which 32 guests
they were thrilled; it would provide
flew to the Caribbean from Detroit,
both a connection with Jewish history
Chicago, New York, Florida and
and a relaxed family gathering.
California — including Rachel's
"The family reunion aspect of this
parents, Debbie (Cohen) and Steve
was brilliant," explains Rachel's uncle,
Gordon; brothers, Max, 9, and Eli,
Ron Cohen of New York City, a for-
2; and grandparents, Allen Cohen
mer Detroiter who graduated from
and Barbara Cohen and Fred and
Southfield-Lathrup High School.
Marsha Gordon.
"You never have this kind of oppor-
Debbie and Steve, both native
tunity to sit around with your whole
Detroiters and graduates of
family and really kibitz and reacquaint
Michigan State University, decided
The family: Brother Max, mom Debbie, dad Steve, brother Eli
after not seeing each other for a cou-
to have Rachel's bat mitzvah on
and Rachel in shul (above) and on the beach at St. John (top).
ple years. If we met in Chicago, we'd
the island of St. Thomas at the old-
all have our separate plans, but here
est active synagogue in the Western
we really had the chance to hang out together all day."
Hemisphere. "It was their idea, but I agreed," says Rachel. "I
Most of the group bunked at the Westin Resort on St. John,
was excited to do something different, something my friends
a 30-minute boat ride from St. Thomas, and spent downtime
haven't done before."
swimming, snorkeling, playing tennis and eating together,
Now residents of Highland Park, Ill., Debbie and Steve
although various low-key parties scheduled throughout the
were turned off by the current trend of extravagant bar and bat
weekend — ranging from a pizza luncheon to a semi-formal
mitzvahs and the party planners, over-the-top themes and tens
dinner-and-dancing party on the beach — kept guests busy.
of thousands of dollars that often accompany them. "Most of
For the bat mitzvah, all 32 guests traveled together by sea to
the bar and bat mitzvahs are so ostentatious and excessive, and
Continued on page 28
JNPLATINUM • MAY 2006
•
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