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March 16, 2006 - Image 96

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 2006-03-16

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

(Satire from page 49)

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• Diff'rent Strokes, 1984. Arnold,
the younger adopted son of "Mr. D','
attends a friend's bar mitzvah and is
attracted to a religion that gives a 13-
year-old boy cash and premature adult
privileges, which, he thinks, include
getting into X-rated movies.
Arnold consults a rabbi about con-
verting, but when he hears about
some of the challenges of Judaism —
learning Hebrew, fasting on Yom
Kippur - his interest cools. At the end
of the episode, he goes to church with
his father.

• The Wonder Years, 1989. Kevin,
played by Fred Savage, is jealous of his
friend Paul, who is about to become a
bar mitzvah. Kevin is moved when,
having dinner at Paul's house, he sees
Paul's grandfather give him, in antici-
pation of the big day, not a TV or
watch, but a prayer book that his
father had given him.
Kevin goes home and asks his par-
ents, "What are we?" His parents fum-
ble about and come up with a few
bland European ancestries.
Since it happens to fall on his birth-
day, Kevin, overcome by a jealousy he
can't quite name, refuses to attend
Paul's bar mitzvah. Paul is under-
standably wounded.
In the end, Kevin relents, showing
up at the synagogue in time to see
Paul read from the Torah. The episode
ends with the two boys dancing a
rousing hora.

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• Seinfeld, 1997. "The Serenity Now"
episode features this fine exchange
among Elaine, a bar mitzvah boy and
his father:
Elaine: "Congratulations, Mr.
Lippman."
Lippman: "Oh, Elaine. My boy's a
man today. Can you believe it? He's a
man."
Elaine: "Oh, congratulations, Adam."
Adam zealously kisses Elaine.

Adam: "I'm a man!"
Later, both Lippman and the rabbi
hit on Elaine.

• Sex and the City, 2000. Publicist
Samantha Jones, played by Kim
Cattrall, is hired to help plan the party
of Jenny Brier, a precocious New
Yorker. "My father has invited over 300
of his most powerful friends to this
event," Jenny tells a skeptical
Samantha.
"They're not all coming. The
Clintons can't make it, of course. But
like I told Daddy, we'll be lucky if we
can swing this for under a mil. But
what do I know? I'm just a kid."

• Frasier, 2002. Eager to put in a fine
performance at the bar mitzvah of his
son (who is being raised by his ex-
wife, Lilith), Frasier wants to deliver a
brief blessing in Hebrew.
When he accidentally infuriates his
Hebrew tutor, a Star Trek fan, Frasier is
deceived into memorizing the blessing
in Klingon. At the big event, Frasier
chants,"Pookh lod wih le koo ..."then
concludes, "Shabbat shalom."

• The Simpsons, 2003. Krusty the
Clown, the prodigal son of Rabbi
Hyman Krustofski, is moved to cele-
brate an adult bar mitzvah when he
discovers that he cannot get a star on
the Jewish Walk of Fame without hav-
ing passed that milestone.
In a nod to reality TV, Krusty's bar
mitzvah becomes a television special,
a big spectacle that infuriates his rabbi
father, voiced by Jackie Mason.
But at the end, to reconcile with his
father, Krusty celebrates a low-key
affair at the synagogue. 0

Mark Oppenheimer is the author of

"Thirteen and a Day: The Bar and Bat

Mitzvah Across America," published by

Farrar, Straus & Giroux.

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