Karin Sherman and children:
You're never too young
to say thank you.

Thanks So, So Much

... and other mistakes of thank-you note writing.
Why it's important to express your gratitude — without cliches.

Elizabeth Applebaum
Contributing Editor

herever George
Bush, senior, trav-
eled during his pres-
idential campaign,
he brought along a
pen and box of blank cards.
Immediately after appearing at an
event, he would sit down and write a
thank-you note to the hosts and volun-
teers. Even opponents were impressed,
and some suggest Bush's good manners
helped him win the election.
Like vinyl records, typewriters and
waxed moustaches, thank-you notes, for
many, seem to be a thing of the past. Who
has time to write them, they ask. And is a
formal thank you really necessary?
Yes, says Miss Manners. Thank-you
notes are not only necessary, they
should be written promptly and with
great care.

Judaism also teaches the importance
of saying thank you. Expressing grati-
tude is "one of the most important
aspects of Judaism," says Rabbi
Elimelech Silberberg of Bais Chabad of
West Bloomfield. The Talmud teaches
that God asks one thing of us — "To give
100 thank yous every day." Thank you to
God, and to man who was created in His
image.
"Saying 'thank you' recognizes that
you would not have what you have or be
where you are without help," he adds.
"So it's really a form of humility"

THINK FIRST

Despite the First Amendment, some
things should be illegal. This is one of
them:
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Gold :
Thanks for the gift. I really like it. May
we share many more simchahs.
From the Bar Mitzvah Boy
This is another, which was e-mailed to
you and 250 others who attended the

wedding of dear friends:
Hey, folks! Thanks to one and all for
the wedding presents!
From the Happy Couple
The first step in writing a good
thank-you note is simply to think, says
Karin Sherman of Treasured Rhymes
for Treasured Times in West Bloomfield.
Consider "how a gift affected you, how it
made you feel, how much you appreciat-
ed it." This, and not "Thanks for the
gift': will form the text of your note.
The next step is to take up pen and
paper. E-mails are never acceptable, and
a handwritten note is much nicer than a
typed one, Sherman says.
Your note should name the item,
instead of just identifying it generically
as "the gift." Saying, "I know I will enjoy
coming up with all kinds of fun flavors
to try in the ice-cream maker': is much
nicer than, "Thanks for the present."
Remember that someone likely has
gone to a lot of trouble trying to find
just what you might like. "Don't take this

for granted," Sherman says.
Though thank-you notes should be
thoughtful, they needn't be especially
long, so don't bother with "very, very,
very much" and "thank you again and
again," both peppered with plenty of
exclamation points, in an effort to make
your letter longer and seemingly more
substantial. "It's not the quantity, it's the
quality," Sherman says.
Be sure to avoid cliches or empty
phrases like "Thank you so much" and
"I really like it" and the most overused
phrase in the history of thank-you
notes, "May we share many more sim-
chahs."
One simchah most share with a huge
crowd is a wedding, which might mean
plenty of that most wonderful of all
gifts, money, from plenty of people.
Since it's the same gift, does that mean
you can send the same note to every-
one?
Nice try.

Thanks So Much on page 12

JN

CELEBRATE • 2006 11