question, Rabbi Nelson says. It's the Jewish thing to do. The congrega-
unusually strong. He wasn't afraid.
tion was happy to have him, and "I'm very happy that for awhile he
A friend came over in a frightening mask on Halloween. Sandy
found a home with us.
gasped; but Zev, then 11 months old, "didn't even blink:' she says.
"You can see the spark of God in everyone if you really look:' Rabbi
Pediatricians in California, where the Loefflers lived when Zev and
Nelson
says. "With Zev, though, it was very easy. I loved this young
his younger sister, Deena, were born, and later in New York, where the
man."
family moved when Zev was 21 months old,,offered ideas. One sug-
Shopping with Zev can be difficult. Likely this is because Zev will •
gested the boy was simply slow to talk, while another believed he
pick
up a piece of fruit and throw it. "We call them 'fly-by fruitings,"
might have a hearing problem. The parents heard, "Oh, that's just how
Sandy says.
he is" and "Children develop at different times." One doctor told them,
At first, the Loefflers would apologize for their son's behavior and
"He has a processing problem." What in the world, they wondered, did
try
to explain autism. Now, though, they only go to places "where peo-
that mean?
ple
know and are nice to him, like Farmer Jack on Southfield Road,
David and Sandy chanced to attend a lecture at the New York State
Warren
Prescriptions in Farmington Hills and the gas station where he
Autism Society, where the evening began with a video showing autistic
gets
his
gum,"
David says.
children. "David and I looked at each other and said,•`That's it:" Sandy
It
has
been
difficult
for Deena, Zev's younger sister, now a graduate
recalls.
student
in
Indiana.
Because
Zev was so unpredictable, because he
They immediately took their son in for yet another evaluation, and
might
spit
on
guests
and
urinate
on the floors, Deena could rarely .
this time his autism was.confirmed.
bring
friends
over
when
she
still
lived
at hOme. She had only one paja-
"It was good news and bad news," David says. "We felt relieved to
ma
party,
when
David
took
Zev
out
of
town.
finally have a diagnosis. We waited so long, and we just wanted to be
Today,
Deena
prefers
not
to
talk
about
Zev, saying only that relations
able to put a name on whatever Zev's problem was so we could get
are
strained.
help for him."
Some suggested, "Why don't you just give up your parental rights
"But we still didn't really know what 'autistic' meant': Sandy says.
and
put him in foster care?"
The Loefflers were able to enroll Zev in a "terrific program" in
Ithaca, N.Y., but it ended after preschool. '`At the time, Zev was the only
The Power Of Love on page 18
child in the county labeled 'autistic," the Loefflers say.
In search of other options, they moved to nearby
Rochester, N.Y., and tried another school. "The staff •
had never worked with a child like Zev," and the boy
progressed very little.
Finally, the Loefflers moved to Michigan, which
they had heard was one of the best states for chil-
magine that you walk into a room and the tic individuals do have a mental illness, many
dren with special needs. David found work doing
music is blaring so loud it seems to fill the more are highly intelligent. Yet they suffer
cancer research, while Sandy served as extension
neighborhood. But even with this you can froM a "sensory overload," Phelps says,
director for the Wayne State University Hillel
hear the breath of the man next to you, the which means they live in a world where every
Foundation in Detroit.
heartbeat of a woman across the room. The sound, smell, sight, feel, taste is so pro-
Deena was enrolled at Hillel Day School of .
smell of garlic and cinnamon and cumin and nounced it's hard just to function.
Metropolitan Detroit and Zev attended school and
fresh roses and chocolate is so strong it could • "This is why some [persons with autism]
became part of the Oakland County Community
knock you down. Your clothing suddenly is so will only eat certain foods," she says.
Mental Health System, which meant his parents
Or they feel textures so acutely, like Zev,
rough and scratchy it feels like your skin is on
received a few hours of in-home respite care.
that they're compelled
fire. Overhead, the light
to tear off their clothes.
seems to burn down so
No Giving Up
But as with anyone,
hard it's like you're
As Zev grew, his behavior became more challenging.
as autistic children
right next to the sun.
"Everything was a problem': David says. "On the
grow up their nervous
When you leave the
school bus, he would jump up and out of his seat."
systems calm down
room, it will all be over.
Car trips with Zev were impossible for Sandy; Zev
"and they learn to
But not for those with
would grab the steering wheel, throw his clothes out
cope," Phelps says.
autism. This extreme
the window, pound on the head of other passengers.
They may still rock back
sensory overload is
He was enrolled in various programs at school
and forth, but it will be
what life is like every
districts throughout Oakland County. Some worked
calm and limited, a cop-
single moment of their
well, and some did not. When Zev was 16, he began
ing technique like nail
lives.
having grand mal seizures. Soon afterward, the
biting or leg twitching,
Autism is "a neuro-
Loefflers were asked to take their son from the pro-
found in . many non-
logical, biomedical dis-
gram he was attending because his behavior was too
autistic adults.
order," says Gale
difficult for staff to handle. David stayed home for
Though there is no
Phelps, coordinator of
two months with Zev until another program accept-
cure for autism, Phelps
Zev Loeffler
the Shared Parenting
ed him.
notes that many treat-
(respite) Program, and
Synagogues back in New York had asked the
the Etheridge Plan, a lifetime advocacy plan ments are available, with varying. results.
Loefflers not to come with Zev. In Michigan, the
at the Arc of Oakland County, a support-advo- These include changing diet, medication,
Loefflers joined Congregation Beth Shalom in Oak
cacy group for persons with mental retarda- music and art therapy, speech and play thera-
Park, where Rabbi David Nelson made a great effort
py and applied behavioral analysis.
tion and other developmental disabilities.
to welcome the family, the Loefflers say. But one
Originally, autism was characterized as a
winter, as David came with Zev to Beth Shalom, the
- Elizabeth Applebaum;
mental illness, Phelps says. While some autis-
contributing editor
boy began hitting his father, knocking his glasses
into the snow.
Welcoming Zev to Beth Shalom was never even a

Inside The Autistic Brain

December 15 2005

17