To Life! Precious Goal from page 19 Tips To Maximize Fertility Infertility And Judaism • Minimize stress. Yoga, deep breathing, regular exercise, talk- ing with supportive friends or a therapist can all be helpful. • Limit caffeine and alcohol. This applies to men, also, as heavy drinking can cause sperm abnormalities. • Don't smoke. It can increase the chance of miscarriage and lower the success rate of IVF. • Eat a healthy, balanced diet high in fresh vegetables, fruits and fiber, and low in fat and sugar. Being too thin can be detrimental to pregnancy. • Exercise regularly but moder- ately. Don't drain your energy or compromise your health. •Avoid self-prescribed herbal remedies. St. John's Wort can have a negative effect on male fertility. Check with your doctor. •Avoid some prescription drugs. They can affect ovulation and male fertility. Tell your doctors you are trying to conceive. •Avoid environmental hazards such as pesticides, paint thinners and other chemical solvents. — American Fertility Association www.theata.org West Bloomfield acupuncturist O 52 Julie Silver places needles as part of a fertility treatment. Infertility Resources These organizations, Web sites and books provide information and support relating to infertility: The American Society for Reproductive Medicine: www.asrm.org The American Fertility Association: (888) 917-3777 www.theafa.org Resolve, the National Infertility Association: (888) 623-0744 www.resolve.org A T.I.M.E. (A Torah Infertility Medium of Exchange): (718) 486-7662 www.atime.org And Hannah Wept: Infertility, Adoption and the Jewish Couple by Michael Gold Be Fruitful and Multiply: Fertility Therapy in Jewish Tradition by Richard V. Grazi Jewish Family Service (JFS) provides help for those dealing with perinatal loss, infertility, adoption and other issues. Support groups, referrals and counseling are offered in Oak Park and West Bloomfield. Contact Ellen Yashinsky-Chute at (248) 592-2300 or visit www.jfsdetroit.org. 20 Sta ff photo by Brett Mounta in Tears of Sorrow, Seed of Hope: A Jewish Spiritual Companion for Infertility and Pregnancy Loss by Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin Fertility specialist Dr. Michael Mersol-Barg Infertility is a recurring theme throughout the Torah, beginning with Abraham's wife, Sarah, who was "barren" until she gave birth to Isaac at almost 90 years old. Matriarchs Rebecca and Rachel struggled with infertility, as did Hannah, whose poignant prayer has become a well-known part of Jewish scripture. "Death is mourned, divorce is at least acknowledged, but infer- tility is suffered in silence said Rabbi Berkun."There is no ritual for miscarriage or even stillbirth. The Torah reminds us that we have to work in partnership with God. Prayer and Jewish medita- tion can increase a couple's con- nection to God and to each other." Like.any crisis or major chal- lenge, infertility can test the bonds of marriage, bringing a couple closer together or driving them apart. Dr. Jackie Raznik Shapo, an Ann Arbor therapist who special- izes in infertility issues, says it is essential for couples to view this as a joint problem and confront it together, rather than trying to place blame on each other. "I encourage couples to engage in enjoyable activities together, such as exercise, movies, dining out or sex, even if its hard to muster the motivation:' said Dr. Shapo. "A relationship can survive the challenge of infertility and even become stronger, but it does require effort." This approach worked well for Tracy Bruce-Harrison and her husband, Don Harrison, of Shelby Township. Their 14- month-old son, Grant, was con- ceived through an ICSI procedure performed by Dr. Mersol-Barg, and their second child, who was conceived naturally, is due at the end of the month. "We actually managed to make it fun:' said Don. "Whenever Tracy was scheduled for a proce- dure, I'd plan something special for us to do afterwards, like going out for lunch or dinner or to the park. I gave her backrubs, and I made her laugh a lot." Chana K., who is Orthodox, experienced the personal pain of infertility, along with the commu- nal pressure to begin having chil- dren right after marriage. When treatment was unsuccessful, she and her husband adopted a son but did not give up the dream of having their own biological child. Finally they adopted another son. "There was a lot of pressure, and our community was not ter- ribly understanding. But I thank God that I went through those bumps so I could help the next person:' she said. She says the lack of openness within her com- munity ended up strengthening her marriage. "Because we didn't have any outside support, we turned to each other, which was very posi- tive," said Chana, who since has helped several other infertile Orthodox couples go through the adoption process. Dr. Shapo advises couples to get as much information as pos- sible, to remain positive, yet real- istic, to practice gratitude and forgiveness, and to treat them- selves and each other with gentle- ness and compassion. She adds that it's important to acknowl- edge and let go of grief, which is a normal part of the process. Applying ancient Jewish law to modern technology poses a chal- lenge for religious leaders and couples who want to conceive without violating any command- ments. According to Rabbi Asher Eisenberger of Congregation Agudas Yisroel Mogen Abraham in Southfield, the Orthodox movement generally condones the use of fertility drugs and pro- cedures such as fVF and ICSI, but draws the line when it comes to using donor eggs and sperm or surrogates. "We try to make it as easy as possible for a couple to conceive within the context of Jewish law',' said Rabbi Eisenberger, who is also a faculty member of Yeshiva Beth Yehudah in Southfield. "There is such an array of options today; a couple should always consult with their rabbinic guide to decide what's right for them." The Conservative and Reform movements generally encourage the use of any assisted reproduc- tive technologies that will enable a couple to have children. "Bearing children is a precious in MS office November 17.2005 „TN