To Life!

A Posthumous
Bar Mitzvah

Memory of Alex Weinstein celebrated
at Birmingham Temple.

Robin Schwartz
Special to the Jewish News

here were songs, prayers,
speeches, moving tributes
and even a chocolate foun-
tain. But, the bar mitzvah of Alex
Weinstein was unlike any other
celebration of its kind.
Alex, 12, was killed along with
his mother, Judy, 49, and brother,
Sam, 9, on May 3 when a driver
plowed into their car on 12 Mile
Road east of Orchard Lake Road.
Police stated that the driver, who
was charged with three counts of
second-degree murder, had a
blood alcohol count five times
the legal limit.
Alex's family had already
scheduled his bar mitzvah for
Nov. 11 at the Birmingham
Temple in Farmington Hills, a
mile east of the crash scene.
Rabbi Tamara Kolton said it sim-
ply didn't feel right to cancel the
celebiation.
_
"I felt like it was part of doing
right by Alex — that it was part
of continuing his life said Rabbi
Kolton. "And I really thought he'd
want this. I thought if we could
have asked him he would have
said, 'Don't cancel it.'"
Alex's father, Gary Weinstein,
agreed. He sat on the bimah
throughout the service smiling,
singing along and, at times, wip-
ing away tears.
"Someone recently asked me
why would I want to put myself
through this;' Weinstein said.
"Without hesitation, I responded
that it's a self-expression for me!"
The proud father gave a heart-
felt speech reliving happy
moments, funny stories and cele-

T

Top: Eighth-graders Zachary Ernst of West Bloomfield and Jake

MacDonald of Southfield talk about Alex Weinstein's hero, actor

Paul Newman, as Gary Weinstein and Rabbi Sherwin Wine look on

Middle: Eighth-graders Sarah Brooks of Detroit and Lilah Cleavey

and Alexandra Louk, both of Farmington Hills, participate in Alex

Weinstein's posthumous bar mitzvah.

Bottom: Rabbi Tamara Kolton watches as Jake MacDonald makes a

presentation. Eighth-graders Jeremy Goldman of West Bloomfield

and Alex D'Amore-Braver of Troy also participated.

24
4

brating the life of his creative,
theatrical son.
"His thirst for making people
laugh and playing full out was
never quenched or squelched:
Weinstein said.

Alex Weinstein

He told one story depicting
Alex as a young entrepreneur,
selling ice cream to neighbors
because ice cream trucks didn't
come down their street. The
clever boy downloaded from the
Internet the music ice cream
truck drivers play, recorded
them, then paraded around with
his brother Sam tagging along,
playing the song on a tape player
while pulling his ice cream in a
wagon.
"I saw Alex in Sunday school
all the time said Cindy
Goldman of West Bloomfield.
"He was a character, so to lis-
ten to those funny stories his
father told — I'm just speechless

— it was just really beautiful:
she said.
Alex's religious school class-
mates also paid tribute to him. At
the Birmingham Temple, where
congregants practice Humanistic
Judaism, students select a hero to
research and speak about at their
bar or bat mitzvah. Alex, a talent-
ed actor, chose screen legend
Paul Newman. The students in
his class did the research and
made the presentation in his
honor.
"I felt this was something we
really needed to do for Alex
because he was really special in
our lives: said eighth-grader
Jake McDonald.
"The children stepped up:
said Rabbi Kolton. "It was an act
of love and loyalty." Afterwards,
they decorated top hats and
made friendship bracelets —
things Alex would have enjoyed.
He may not have been there,
but Alex Weinstein's fun-loving
spirit filled the room.
"I'm just so glad we did this:
Rabbi Kolton said. "His absence
is felt so deeply but along with
the absence I feel so full of life
and a message and purpose!'
Gary Weinstein thanked par-
ticipants for being there and for
their love. He urged the crowd to
keep his son's spirit alive.
"Someone recently suggested
that I get to live the rest of my life
consistent with how I would have
liked Alex to live his," Weinstein
said. "I like that. What I'm commit-
ted to is aliveness, fun and joy
through contribution, creativity
and participation. In that memory
— and that's the way I raised him
— for me, he lives forever!'

❑

November 17 2005

jw

