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First Round

doesn't matter.
Just hours after
Whether it's the
President Bush gave
Threat 0' the Week in
an address on terror-
New York, the Bombing
ism on Oct. 6, New
0' the Week in Bali or
York City's heavily
the Disaster 0' the Week
armed Hercules team
in Pakistan, doom looms
prowled the subway
from every pixel on
system, searching
high-definition televi-
bags and baby
strollers looking for
Harry Kirsbaum sion.
All we can do is watch
bombs.
Columnist
in awe at the video,
"Overall, the United
write a check to the
States and our part-
Telethon 0' the Week
ners have disrupted at
least 10 serious Al Qaida terrorist and keep moving because we all
know that a moving target is
plots since September the 11th,
harder to kill and hiding under
including three al Qaida plots to
your desk is so 1950s.
attack inside the United States,"
Unless you're Pat Robertson,
Bush said in a lunch-time speech
that is.
to the National Endowment for
He's not hiding under his desk;
Democracy in Washington, D.C.
he's dancing on top of it like Tom
"Because of this steady progress,
the enemy is wounded — but the Cruise on Oprah's couch.
Citing Hurricane Katrina's 1,200
enemy is still capable of global
dead, the earthquake in Pakistan,
operations."
Afghanistan and India leaving
The president also called
30,000 dead and counting, and the
Islamic radicalism "more like a
December 2004 tsunami leaving
loose network with many
275,000 dead, Robertson told
branches than an army under a
CNN, "These things are starting to
single command."
hit with amazing regularity."
By dinnertime, New York City
According to passages in the
Mayor Michael Bloomberg held a
Bible, in the latter days, before the
press conference and spoke of a
credible threat to the subway sys- end of this age, "the Earth would
be caught up in what [the apostle
tem found through a tipster in
Paul] called the birth pangs of a
Iraq.
new order:' he said. "What was
Throughout the weekend, and
called the blessed hope of the
without verification from the
Bible is that one day Jesus Christ
Department of Homeland
would come back again, start a
Security or the FBI, we learned
that the plot was to take place on whole new era; that this world
order that we know would change
Oct. 9, and that the NYPD is
into something that would be
looking for someone, according
wonderful, that we'd call the mil-
to CNN.
lennium."
This time, there was no men-
Although he wouldn't predict it
tion of the New York Chapter of
outright, Robertson said with sat-
the American Civil Liberties
isfaction,"The Bible does indicate
Union lawsuit filed in August to
prevent the police from searching such a time will happen in the end
of time. And could this be it? It
baggage on the subway.
might be."
Maybe they've resigned them-
At least someone's happy. ❑
selves to what we already know:
People will put up with whatever
is necessary to feel safe, even if it Harry Kirsbaum's e-mail address is

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October 1.3 2005

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