COMO
Cele&roo
1/4
the High Holiti4ys
Ethiopian Style!
"The next week, of course, I went
back to being Jason to everyone,
except for that family, for whom I
remained Rabbi Miller."
Rabbi Nevins said: "I think of
myself as informal and approachable.
The rabbi title can seem authoritarian
and pompous at times. For that rea-
son, I used to prefer to be called just
Danny, but I realized that many peo-
ple really needed me to be their rabbi,
not their buddy. In a way, avoiding
the title was being disrespectful of the
role of rabbi.
"I am comfortable being Danny
when a person needs a friend," he
said. "As for 'Rabbi Danny,' I use that
in youth situations like the nursery
school or teen trips. It helps the kids
feel a bond with their rabbi.
"But I find it silly for adults to use
that shorthand. It doesn't really work
either to create intimacy or respect,
which are the two considerations in
the whole name game."
Still Respectful
For Shaarey Zedek member Karen
Katz of West Bloomfield, respect
given to her rabbis is not determined
by a title. In fact, in some instances
she is even more respectful-of the
rabbi who refers to himself or herself
less formally.
"When the rabbi phones and says,
`This is Joey Krakoff,' /know he's the
rabbi; he knows he's the rabbi and yet,
in making this personal connection,
it's not lessening his role," she said.
"It's enhancing it to me."
Katz may change the way she greets
her rabbis depending on the setting.
"Sometimes I call Rabbi Krakoff,
Rabbi Joey and other times I call him
Rabbi Krakoff," she said. "It depends
on who else is around and the formal-
ity of the occasion. If I'm talking to
his wife, Susan, I'll refer to him as
Joey because otherwise it would seem
bizarre. I've never called him Joey to
his face.
She is also comfortable calling the
rabbis what they are comfortable
being called.
"I always call Rabbi Groner `Rabbi
Groner' and couldn't imagine calling
him Rabbi Irwin," she said of the
Shaarey Zedek rabbi emeritus. "I
don't think he could imagine it,
either! Congregants who call him by
his first name only have a social rela-
tionship or a longstanding one with
him."
She compared the informal refer-
ence to a rabbi to the lack of neces-
sary titles among members of the
1)
Israeli Defense Forces, where she said,
"Everyone is on a first-name basis. Do
you think the rank and file have any
less respect for the officer or com-
mander they call by his or her first
name?" Katz asked.
She finds referring to her rabbi less
formally as "humanizing, connecting
and removes a layer of separateness.
Now, if my doctors would only let me
call them by their first names, we'd
finally have gotten somewhere," she
said.
the ewish Coirimtinity Center
Eugene and Marcia ,Applebaum
Jewish Community Campus
6600 W. Maple Road, West Bloomfield
JEWISH EXPERIENCES FOR FAMILIES
PRESENTS.
19TH ANNUAL
APPLES AND HONEY
(Drake Road entrance will be closed.
Please enter off of Maple Road.)
AND LOTS, LOTS MORE.. .
FOLLOW the footsteps of the Jews of
Ethiopia from antiquity to modern Israel
in an authentic Ethiopian tent.
WITH STONE SHOES
FEEL the strength of a people with the
courage to leave home wearing nothing
on their feet but STONE SHOES.
AK D100104;4 Jewish Worley
Experience the SIGHTS, SOUNDS
AND FLAVORS of the High Holidays,
as observed in an Ethiopian village.
Getting The Name You Want
Unlike some of her peers, Rabbi
Tamara Kolton of Birmingham
Temple said, "My preference is either
to be called Rabbi Kolton, or Tamara,
and I'm comfortable with either one.
I am either seen in the capacity of the
rabbi — or I'm just a person.
"I prefer not to be called Rabbi
Tamara because I feel like it dilutes
either one. I'd like to have the integri-
ty of either the rabbi — or of just
me.
But she added, "I'm not really
attached to the title. I think the
authority we have comes from how
we work and how we help people and
that's given by our deeds and not by
our title," Rabbi Kolton said.
"In other congregations, it should
also be what the congregation and the
clergy person decide is a fit for them,"
she said. 'And that's what's nice
about what we are today; that we can
decide for ourselves and our own
community what to call our rabbis
and how our rabbis would like to be
addressed."
And that's often something that
comes with discussion. "I like to be
asked how I want to be addressed,"
Rabbi Miller said. "It shows respect
— that they are aware of my title," he
said.
He also feels the cue of what to call
your rabbi should come from how the
rabbi introduces himself or herself.
"I don't insist on any one way of
being addressed," said Rabbi Steven
Rubenstein of Congregation Beth
Ahm. "For some people, titles are off-
putting. For others, titles are a sign of
respect and an important part of com-
municating within the relationship.
The title comes with the job of being
a rabbi and I am proud to be a rabbi.
"But the truth is, you can serve as a
rabbi even when the title isn't used. In
the end, it is the relationships that I
establish with the people around me
that will make me their rabbi, not the
title," he said. ❑
Sunday, Sept. 18, 2005
1:00 - 4:00 pm
14 Elul 5765
PLANT AND HARVEST corn
on our Ethiopian farm.
TASTE
>i< Iamb and honey.
For more information, to RSVP or to volunteer, please e-mail greenberg@jfmd.org
or call Gail Greenberg in the JEFF department 248.205.2536
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• 19