WHAT'S IN A NAME? from page 17
"Rabbi Alter is a comfbrtabk
combination of who I am, for
the work I do. It can be a
reminder that I am not only
friend, but that I am an
adviser and that I also
represent the Torah."
-- Rabbi Alter Goldstein of the
Chabad House
"The way I introduce myself
depends on the context. One of
the most important things to
me, in the rabbinate, is to be
approach able."
— Rabbi Michael Moskowitz of
Temple Shir Shalom
of blessed memory, Rabbi Syme, so by
extension they called me Rabbi
Yedwab," said Rabbi Paul Yedwab.
"I never liked that much, as the real
Rabbi Yedwab is my father, Stanley. So
I thought of using Rabbi Paul, but
that sounded too much like an apos-
tle. Rabbi Josh has a much more
Jewish ring to it," he said of colleague
Rabbi Joshua Bennett.
"In Israel, people call me Micha.
Most of my friends here just call me
Paul, and switch over seamlessly to
Rabbi Yedwab when I am officiating
at a funeral or other life cycle event in
their family's life."
For Rabbi Joseph Krakoff, what
people call him signifies whether they
want him to address them as rabbi or
friend. "When a friend calls and says,
`Rabbi,' I know by way of what they
call me what kind of call it is," said
the Congregation Shaarey Zedek
leader, often referred to as Rabbi Joey,
which is emblazoned on the black kip-
pah he bought at a recent Rabbinical
Assembly convention in Houston.
"The way I introduce myself
depends on the context,"_ said Rabbi
Michael Moskowitz of Temple Shir
Shalom, who often refers to himself as
Michael or Rabbi Mike. "One of the
most important things to me, in the
rabbinate, is to be approachable."
Some congregants want a rabbi
named Rabbi Moskowitz or Rabbi
Schwartz, and that's fine, too, he said
of himself and colleague Rabbi Dannel
Schwartz, whose license plate displays
his longtime, informal nickname,
Rabs.
In the college town of Ann Arbor,
where some rabbis prefer to be greeted
by only their first names, Rabbi Jason
Miller has settled for being called,
Rabbi Jason, although some refer to
him as just Jason.
"During rabbinical school, I always
thought if I worked in a congregation
I would be called Rabbi Miller," said
the assistant director at the University
of Michigan Hillel Foundation, where
he works with college students and
young adults. "Rabbi Miller seemed to
be distancing to college students."
"Rabbi Jason is a good compromise
as it is not too formal but still has the
respect value," he said. 'And it fits for
those who are looking to me to be
their rabbi and counselor. .
"If I ever am in a pulpit position, I
might choose to go by Rabbi Miller,"
he said.
But for now he's comfortable
enough with Rabbi Jason to have just
purchased the Internet domain name:
rabbijason.com .
Staying Formal
For some rabbis, first
names are reserved for col-
leagues. "Using a rabbi's
first name — even with the
title rabbi before it is like
calling your parents, 'Dad
Jack' and 'Mom Ann,'" said
Rabbi Elimelech Silberberg
of Sara Tugman Bais
Chabad Torah Center in
West Bloomfield. "You
Rabbi Kolton
wouldn't do it because it's
not respectful."
Rabbi Silberberg is typi-
cally referred to as merely
`Rabbi,' a name often given
to a teacher. 'And a rabbi
who is doing his job should
be a teacher," he said of the
title.
And that's how Arye
Zacks of Oak Park refers to
his rabbi, Rabbi Reuven
Spolter of Young Israel of
Oak Park. "Usually I just
call him Rabbi, as in 'Hello,
Rabbi,' 'How are you,
Rabbi?'" Zacks said.
Rabbi Rubenstein
"In front of a group of
people, I call him Rabbi
Spolter. If it is just he and I
together or in a small group
of peers, I will call him
Rabbi. I don't know if the
name I call him makes a dif-
ference, but I think that in
order for the rabbi to have
authority as rabbi, there
needs to be some type of
boundary between him and
his congregants. I want a
rabbi that I can look toward
as a religious leader, not
someone I go play hockey
Rabbi Yedwab
or basketball with."
Reaching Out
An exception to Rabbi
Silberberg's opposition of
the first-name option is
"using a more informal title
to get students or congre-
gants involved," he said.
"Ultimately, the rabbi's job
is to bring people closer to
Torah and Judaism and, in
some situations, the name is
part of the hook."
That's exactly the case for
29-year-old Rabbi Alter
Goldstein of the Chabad
House at the University of
Michigan. "I work with
college students," said the
rabbi, who is not much
Rabbi Silberberg
older than many of those
he serves. "They are in my
home all the time. I think
they feel more comfortable
talking to me more freely
when they call me, Rabbi
Alter.
Some people call him
Rabbi Goldstein, which is
fine with him, though he
works in the same town
with his father, Rabbi
Aharon Goldstein of the
Ann Arbor Chabad House.
"Rabbi Alter is a com-
fortable combination of
who I am, for the work I
do. It can be a reminder
that I am not only a friend,
but that I am an adviser
and that I also represent
the Torah," he said.
Besides, he said, "Until
the students get to know
me, half of them think
Alter is my last name any-
way. "
Going With The Tide
"For me, the title is situa-
tional," said Rabbi Daniel
Nevins of Adat Shalom
Synagogue in Farmington
Hills. "There are times
when I would be uncom-
fortable being referred to
without my title and times
when I'd be unhappy with
the title. Most rabbis of my
generation struggle with
this issue, and there is no
uniform standard, in my
mind."
"It really is less about me
than about a role I am
playing at a certain time,"
Rabbi Nevins said.
"It is actually something
we discussed in rabbinical
school," Rabbi Miller said.
A very powerful moment
for him happened when, as
a rabbinic intern in New
Jersey, he was asked to offi-
ciate at a funeral in the
absence of the congrega-
tion's rabbi.
"Everyone knew me as
Jason because I was still a
student," he said. "The
rabbi called me and said,
`Jason, you have to be Rabbi
Miller for this family.' That
family didn't need Jason to
be there. They needed a
rabbi.