Howard Bragman, Congregation Beth
Israel, Flint, Mich., March 1, 1969:

"I knew I was gay
when the most exciting
part of my bar mitzvah
was meeting with the
party planner.

‘Vho

Knew.

New book explores

pivotal moments

for gay awareness.

KIMBERLY LIFTON
Special to the Jewish News

I

nspired by a bathroom joke book his parents
kept at home, Robert Trachtenberg thought it
might be fun to create a lighthearted book of
gay coming-out stories.
"This was supposed to be my version of Jewish
Jokes for the John," confesses Trachtenberg, 40, a
celebrity and fashion photographer/documentary
filmmaker whose book, When I Knew (ReganBooks;
$22.95), seems to be making people think, as well as
laugh.
When I Knew has become a more serious piece of
work than Trachtenberg anticipated when he set out
to do this project a few years ago. After interviewing
400 gay men and women — and asking each one
question: "When did you know you were gay?" —
Trachtenberg put together an attractive book with
86 of the best vignettes.
As a result of his efforts, through anecdotes that are
both comical and thought-provoking, When I Knew
has helped readers understand what it's really like
when men and women first realize that they are gay.

Born Gay

"The poignant stories are an extra bonus and make
my book well rounded," Trachtenberg says, adding
he always knew he was gay though he didn't have a
story to share. But Trachtenberg was curious about
other people's coming-out stories. Most people fea-
tured in the book believe they were born gay, he
says.
Trachtenberg's other works include documen-
taries on director George Cukor, as well as actors
Gene Kelly and Cary Grant. The documentary

Cary Grant: A Class Apart, which Trachtenberg
wrote and directed, has been nominated for an
Emmy Award this year, in the Outstanding
Nonfiction Special category.
So far, book sales have been good, Trachtenberg
says. To promote When I Knew, the author toured
New York, San Francisco and Los Angeles. To his
surprise, the media has expressed great interest in
his project.
In early August, the Today show featured one of
the men in the book reading his story with his
mother, and also did an interview with
Trachtenberg's friend Hollywood PR giant
Howard Bragman, also featured in the book.

Michigan Connection

"As I look back in life, I always knew I was differ-
ent," says Bragman, who grew up in Flint. "I did-
n't know how to define it."
Bragman's sarcastic quote, "I knew I was gay
when the most exciting part of my bar mitzvah was
meeting with the party planner," is highlighted on
the book's back cover. But while making light of
the moment, his comment was quite telling.
After graduating from the University of
Michigan, and then working briefly at a small
magazine, Bragman went west, where he built a
multimillion-dollar public relations and market-
ing company, Bragman Nyman Cafarelli, that was
sold in 2001 to Interpublic, one of the world's
largest holding companies for marketing firms.
Bragman now operates a boutique agency,
FifteenMinutes.com . He remains a nationally

respected crisis counselor and has provided litiga-
tion support for many high-profile cases, includ-
ing one where a man was kicked out of the U.S.
Naval Academy for his sexual orientation, and for
individuals such as Monica Lewinsky.
He has brought into the spotlight a variety of
causes, including AIDS, breast cancer, gay and
lesbian civil rights, multiple sclerosis and juvenile
diabetes. He created the. Jewish Image Awards,
which honor depictions of Judaism in film and on
television. Along the way, he earned a reputation
as a gifted producer and master promoter of
large-scale Hollywood parties.

Poignant Stories

"Almost universally, when everyone in the book felt
gayness has become a part of their being," explains
Bragman. "I talked about party planning, and I
ended up doing big Hollywood parties."
In addition to Bragman, Trachtenberg inter-
viewed Village Voice columnist Michael Musto,
Will 6. Grace co-creator Max Mutchnick, actress
Tammy Lynn Michaels (The WB's Popular),
Hollywood and Broadway writer/director Arthur
Laurents ( West Side Story), actor Chad Allen (Dr.
Quinn, Medicine Woman),
screenwriter/novelist/biographer Gavin Lampert
( The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone), ceramicist/inte-
rior designer Jonathan Adler, mother Harriet
Zaretsky (formerly Hadassah Rosenbloom and the
daughter of an Orthodox rabbi) and several
comedians, including Judy Gold and Jaffe Cohen.

WHO KNEW?

on page 34

8/25

2005

31