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Actual interest rate on P3 account, while less than the Prime Rate as published in the Wall! Street Journal, shall increase or decrease with subsequent changes to the Prime Rate. Birmingham: 1732 West Maple Road, (248) 723-4800 Clinton Township: 39600 Garfield Road, Suite A, (586) 412-3300 Farmington Hills: 31000 Northwestern Highway, Suite 150, (248) 538-7600 www.paramountbank.com FDIC PARAMOUNT BANK You've never seen a bank like this. LENDER 1013110 Detroit's Legendary Steak House A Classic Since 1920 c 7ERV's CHOP HOUSE COMEDY CLUB EVERY SATURDAY AT 8:00 PM. with this coupon New Talent Welcome 3020 Grand River/Detroit (313) 833-0700 - seating is limited 8/18 2005 20 When you .work this hard to raise money, ' YOU RE CAREFUL HOW ITS SPENT. asked the kids to call me, voice to voice, at least two days per week. Rachael calls more often, and both kids e-mail and IM [instant messag- ing] all the time," she said. "I rarely IM or e-mail Amira," Gaba said, "but we speak on the phone daily" and the trip to Ann Arbor is short so they visit when they can or Amira comes to see them. Some parents also gather a few cell phone numbers of their child's friends, just in case they can't reach them on their own lines. College counselors remind parents that their children have internalized all the parenting that they've done for the past 17-plus years. "Students take their growing up with them; it's part of who they are. They have paid more attention to how you've lived and what you've said then they might let you know," Coburn said. Duke said that moment of separa- tion — when parents prepare to leave their child at college — represents what Elie Wiesel terms "a privileged moment in time." "It comes along in life only a hand- ful of times. That moment when they separate, there's access to one of the most powerful moments in parenting. I tell parents to think about what they are going to say — because what they say will stick. "Are you going to say 'make your bed?' Parents can impart some high level stuff— moral statements and spiritual things — that need to be said, like we're proud of you." If parents can't get through those moments without crying, Duke sug- gests that they write a letter — hand- written, not e-mail — that expresses their emotions. "That's the kind of thing that chil- dren will keep. We need to pay atten- tion to that moment." 11 c'AEL L 's c Ho i. H o t7sE Call for Reservations which sets privacy standards for stu- dent educational records, requires that information like grade reports, disciplinary files, health center visits and even bills may not be shared with parents without student permission. "We try to help parents get used to the idea that they're not going to have the same intense participation in the college students' lives as they have for the past 18 years," said Lynn Rose, a senior counselor and social worker in the department of counseling and psy- chological services at U-M, who spoke to parents at orientation and registra- tion sessions held throughout the summer at the Ann Arbor campus. "Now, parents need to provide sup- port, but encourage independence. The challenge is finding the balance," she said. At U-M, for example, administra- tors ask that parents not be involved with the academic advising process. "It's up to the students to decide what classes to sign up for," Rose said. Taking different kinds of courses is an important decision — and while doing poorly may not be a pleasant experience, it can drive students to areas of study that they really love and will do well at, said Marshall Duke, Emory University Candler Professor of Psychology in Atlanta, who has been lecturing parents at the school's orien- tation sessions for the past 25 years. "We learn as much from failure as from success — sometimes more," he said. Computer and cell phone technolo- gy can keep students connected with their parents. "That's very nice, but if it's overdone, it can keep students from connecting at the university," Coburn said. 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