To Life!
MENTOR
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thing from criminal record to driving
record. Mentors attend a two-hour
training that discusses what is and isn't
expected, things to do with kids,
boundaries, potential problems and
support services JFS can provide.
Community-based mentors make a
one-year commitment, which involves
a flexible four to
six hours per
month. They
receive individual
and peer group
support through-
out the life of the
match. School-
based mentors
commit to week-
ly one-hour ses-
Michelle Melamis sions to meet
with their child
after school.
The matching process is done on the
basis of location, interests and age pref-
erence. Potential mentors look at an
anonymous list of characteristics and
make their preference known. Then,
the staff meets with the mentor and
the child's parent or guardian, and, if
all agree to move forward, the child
attends the next meeting. Children also
are interviewed and fill out a question-
naire that is shared with mentors.
"One of the reasons for our success
is that every child in the program
wants to be there," Melamis says.
The Mentor Connection has school-
based programs at Hillel Day School of
Metropolitan Detroit in Farmington
Hills, Einstein Elementary in Oak Park
and the Walled Lake School District's
Clifford H. Smart Middle School in
Commerce. JFS is working to add a
fourth school in the fall.
Staffs at each school help identify
kids who can benefit from the extra
attention and work with the parents to
secure arrangements for their kids to
participate. School and JFS staff then
meet to match each mentor and child
individually. The mentors all come to
the same school at the same time and
day each week; sometimes, they will
mentor more than one child at a time.
While they spend some time on aca-
demics, they are sure to make time for
pursuing mutual interests whether it be
sports, games, hobbies or just hanging
out and talking.
"This is a great opportunity for col-
lege students and juniors and seniors in
high school," Melamis says, noting the
regular hours and school setting.
Benefits Of Mentoring
While there have been few empirical
studies on the impact of particular
mentoring programs, a 1995 Big
Brothers Big Sisters Impact Study
Mentors Speak Out
"If a child has a positive secure attachment with
any individual ... it assists their social skills
and emotional well-being and they can
blossom from there ..."
— Dr. Jennifer Friedman, a psychologist
with Walled Lake Consolidated Schools
clearly showed that kids with mentors
are less likely to engage in risky behav-
iors. The study of 1,000 young people
in the Baltimore program found that
children with mentors were 46 percent
less likely to begin using illegal drugs,
27 percent less likely to begin using
alcohol, 53 percent less likely to skip
school, and 33 percent less likely to
engage in school violence. It also
showed improved peer and family rela-
tionships.
"The data is not so much on the
mentoring programs in particular but
on the importance of positive relation-
ships and a secure attachment,"
explains Dr. Jennifer Friedman, a psy-
chologist with the Walled Lake School
District. She serves on Mentor
Connection's advisory committee.
"If a child has a positive secure
attachment with any individual —
clergy, a friend, an aunt — it assists
their social skills and emotional well-
being; and they can blossom from
there," Dr. Friedman says. "The pres-
ence of multiple positive relationships
will multiply the benefits to the child.
It's not about the mentors taking the
place of the parents but providing
additional positive opportunities. You
aren't the parent with all that entails,
but the instigator of small steps
towards success and emotional
strength."
Though she says mentoring relation-
ships can make a huge difference with
a small amount of effort, it doesn't
mean that every match is a good one
or that every person who wants to be a
mentor should do it.
"It is very important that the person
follows through and understands the
time commitment," says Dr. Friedman.
"It can go wrong if a well-meaning
mentor is not truly into spending time
"I like working with children and the program seemed like a good way to
`give back' to the community. Also, selfishly, I thought the program would
allow me to see, and feel, that I was making a difference; and it would also
be fun for me. I like and appreciate that the program allows me to feel that
I am providing something that is helpful to Jeffrey. When he is with me, he
doesn't have to compete for attention; he is the center of it. I truly enjoy the
time I spend with Jeffrey.
— Todd Schafer, Beverly Hills andJeffley Unger, 10, explore at the mall.
"I signed up because
there was a need for it,
and I like being with
kids. I think I have
something to offer,
and there is something
you can get as an adult
from spending time with kids who aren't part of your own
family. I hope the time we spend together lets her know there
are people out there who care, who don't want anything from
you but just will be there for you."
JN
6/23
2005
56
— Micki Grossman, Farmington Hills, mentors Devra Ruda, 10, at
Hillel Day School of Metropolitan Detroit