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`I Truly
Had
Everything"
Gary Weinstein finds strength
in the memory of his wife
and young sons.
RONELLE GRIER
Special to the Jewish News
I
4111:
5/12
2005
16
f Judy Weinstein could have spo-
ken to the more than 2,000 peo-
ple who crowded into the
Dorfman Chapel last week to honor
her memory and that of her sons, Alex
and Sam, she would have told them to
"enroll" in life, to let `go of their fear
and anger and live every moment with
courage and joy.
"This tragedy is so loud it's deafen-
ing," said Rabbi Tamara Kolton of the
Birmingham Temple, where the
Weinsteins were active members. "But
the message of life has to be even loud-
er. We are not how we die but how we
live, and these people lived so well;
they were artists and masters of life."
Judith Weinstein, 47, and her two
sons, Alexander, 12, and Samuel, 9,
were killed on Tuesday, May 3, when a
GMC Denali SUV, traveling, at what
Farmington Hills Police report as 70
miles per hour, crashed into the rear of
their Honda Accord. They were
stopped in the left turn lane on 12
Mile Road, just east of Orchard Lake
Road, waiting to turn into the parking
lot of their orthodontist, Dr. Thomas
Jusino.
Judy and Alex died instantly; Sam,
who was thrown from the vehicle, died
shortly after being taken by ambulance
to William Beaumont Hospital in
Royal Oak.
The driver of the SUV, Thomas
Wellinger, 48, of
Farmington Hills
registered a blood
alcohol level of
0.43, more than
five times the legal
limit of 0.08, police
said. Wellinger,
who suffered a bro-
ken neck in the
collision, was
arraigned at
Beaumont Hospital
and charged with
three counts of second-degree murder
and three counts of driving while
under the influence of alcohol.
Ironically, the accident occurred
within yards of the Dorfman Chapel,
where, on Friday, May 6, more than
2,000 mourners filled the seats and
aisles of the sanctuary, spilling into the
lobby and out the front entrance into
the parking lot. Flowers were
handed out to the people as
they entered, and the walls
were adorned with murals
made by the children and
teachers at Hillside
Elementary and Dunckel
Middle School in Farmington Hills,
where Sam and Alex attended. The
murals were filled with drawings, pho-
tos and poignant messages such as
"Have fun in Heaven, Sam. We'll miss
you."
"We received more than 1,000 calls a
day from people all over the country,"
said Jonathan Dorfman, an owner and
director of the Farmington Hills
chapel. "People who didn't even know
the Weinstein family were stopping in
to ask if there was anything they could
do to help."
"There is no answer-to the question
of 'why,"' said Rabbi Kolton, who gave
the eulogy. "Grief and anger have to be
felt, then we must put them to good
use by getting involved in
our community, by connect-
ing to other people, by using
the spirit and power of love
to honor the legacy of this
wonderful family.
"The Weinsteins were very connect-
ed to their Judaism," said Rabbi
Kolton. "They were key members of
our temple family. Judy and Gary did-
n't just drop their kids off; they came
in and sang. We saw them as often as
we saw the boys."
Sam and Alex were self-proclaimed
best friends, continuing to sleep in the
AFTER THE
same room even after the family
moved to a bigger home where each
boy had his own bedroom.
"For them, life was always a party,"
said Rabbi Kolton. "Alex had an
incredible wit and silliness about him,
and he had a keen sense of the world's
injustice."
Alex had chosen Paul Newman as
the hero he would discuss at his
upcoming bar mitzvah. He admired
the actor's philanthropy and the way
he used his fame to make the world
better.
"Sam was total fun; he was always
smiling," said Rabbi Kolton. "He was a
beautiful child and, according to his
mother, he knew it. He was happy."
"Sam was everybody's best friend,"
said his father, Gary.
The boys and their father had
recently become involved in communi-
ty theater, performing in The
Wonderful World of Oz with The Sky's
The Limit Productions in Farmington