Speaking The Unspeakable

How to talk with children about the Holocaust.

Dr. Silow says.
The first problem this poses is the
sheer terror of it. "It's the worst thing
to expose children to [graphic] photos
ate one night when Charley
and films," he says. "It can be very
Silow was 8 years old, he
upsetting if they're exposed to this too
entered the living room where
soon." It will almost certainly give
his parents were watching television.
them nightmares and affect their entire
Night and Fog, a graphic film about
concept of what the world is like.
the horrors of the Holocaust, was
"They're children, and we have to
being shown.
The TV flashed black-and-white pic- respect that," he says. "They need to
grow up feeling that their world is safe
tures of emaciated bodies being tossed
and good."
haphazardly into mass graves. Charley
Not that parents need to lie or paint
saw the images, then heard his mother
a false picture of a world filled with
speak in Yiddish to her husband:
happy folks who all
"Yeah, that's what it
love and take care of
was like."
each other.
This is how Charley
"Most children can
learned that his mother
handle the concept that
was a Holocaust sur-
vivor.
there are bad people in
the world who have
Today, Dr. Silow of
done terrible things,"
Huntington Woods is
Dr. Slow says. "They
president of Children
just don't need to know
of Holocaust Survivors
all the details."
Association in
A second problem
Michigan (CHAIM)
with concentrating on
and a psychologist who
frightening images is
serves as director of the
that it is a waste of
Program for Holocaust
time. "I saw one lectur-
Survivors and Families,
er who talked only
a psychosocial program Charley Silow: Speak with
about the horrors of
that helps the
caution.
the Holocaust," Dr.
Holocaust survivors of
Silow says. "It was
Metro Detroit.
Yom HaShoah, Holocaust Memorial completely ineffective." The students
Day, is observed this year on Thursday, were shocked, appalled and ultimately,
despondent. They left feeling miserable
May 5, and is part of Holocaust
Remembrance Week, May 1-8. Parents and helpless.
"To show that the world is nothing
may see this as a good opportunity to
but a terrible place is destructive," Dr.
speak with their children about World
Silow says.
War II and Adolf Hider's persecution
"When the Holocaust is taught with
of the Jews. The question is, how?
anger and hatred, all it does is cause
The answer: carefully.
further anger and hatred." Instead,
Recognizing the impact of inadver-
children need to leave this despair with
tently learning of his mother's experi-
one of the most important gifts any
ences in the Holocaust, Dr. Slow
adult can give a child: hope. "Too
advocates being cautious and sensitive
often, Holocaust education has
and giving careful consideration to
focused only on the horrors.
children's developmental stages.
Educations haven't integrated it with
"The most important thing when
how we can become better human
teaching about the Holocaust is to
beings and how the world can become
make sure you do not focus on the
a better place."
horrors, especially to young children,"

ELIZABETH APPLEBAUM
AppleTree Editor

L

5/5
2005

44

"So many people did nothing," that's
true, Dr. Silow says. But also teach
children about the men and women
who did risk their lives to save others.
"Show them that one person can and
should make a difference and that they
[the children] should do what they can
to fight evil. We all need to know that
we have the power to do good and
change things."
A child's level of curiosity and sensi-
tivity varies. But general guidelines
exist for helping children learn about
the Holocaust.
Most educators feel the Holocaust
should not be taught to children in
grades younger than fifth. And even at
this age — when boys and girls are
about 10 or 11 — be cautious. Provide
information, but save the most graphic
horrors, especially photos, until chil-
dren are in high school. Even then,
parents need to be certain the child is
mature enough to handle the material.
This does not mean the Holocaust is
a taboo subject until age 18. In fact,
Dr. Silow says, some of the most criti-
cal groundwork should be done when
children are still young. Early on, chil-
dren should learn the moral lessons
inherent in the Holocaust: "The dan-
gers of prejudice, how it can lead to
genocide — they should learn how
people are different and respecting
those differences; about treating one's
fellow human being with respect and
dignity," Dr. Silow says.
"They need to understand kindness,
tolerance and empathy, which all set
the stage for formally teaching about
the Holocaust." It's an introduction
that's "learning about the Holocaust
— without learning about the
Holocaust."
The format for these discussions
hardly need be formal lectures, Dr.
Silow says. Just look, and you'll find
them in your daily life.
Shoshie, Dr. Silow's 8-year-old
daughter, has an American Girl doll.
Her name is Addy, a former slave.
(American Girl dolls come with their
own history, which, in turn," teaches
children about American history.)

"Shoshie read books about Addy
being a slave, and this led to talking
about prejudice and bigotry and the
Underground Railroad," Dr. Slow
says.
Because Shoshie was curious about
and sensitive to issues of prejudice, the
Slows broached the subject of the
Holocaust with her. Again, there was
no mention of the specific kinds of
violence. But, instead, Dr. Silow and
his wife spoke with his daughter about
the kinds of prejudice that can exist,
why it's horrible and how it affected
someone in his own family: his moth-
er.
"We thought it was important for
her to know about what her grand-
mother went through as a Holocaust
survivor and how special and remark-
able her grandmother is," he says.
The talk "enhanced Shoshie's love"
for her grandmother and helped rein-
force his daughter's love and respect for
being part of the Jewish people, Dr.
Silow says.

One In Six Million

Teachers often issue a warning to Jack
Mandelbaum before he begins to talk.
He shouldn't be offended if the stu-
dents, mostly middle-school age, get a
bit restless, start to chat among them-
selves and shift in their seats.
"But it never happens,"
Mandelbaum says. "I start speaking
and there is complete silence."
Mandelbaum is co-founder of the
Midwest Center for Holocaust
Education (MCHE), an Overland
Park, Kan.-based organization dedicat-
ed solely to teaching about the
Holocaust. With a board comprising
both Jews and gentiles, MCHE has no
big memorial building, no museums.
"I saw there was a need, and the
need was strictly education,"
Mandelbaum says. "I didn't want to
put a lot of money into just maintain-
ing a museum. I wanted the money to
go for education rather than brick and
mortar."
Born in Poland, Mandelbaum sur-