Last Call

Partying With
The Rat Pack

I

had my first
"birthday"
experience at
Chuck E. Cheese
recently.
It wasn't mine, of
course; it was my
attorney's grandson
celebrating his fifth.
HARRY
He and his group
KIRS BAUM
of a dozen invitees,
Columnist
including school
chums, siblings and
their parents, shared the joint with
about a hundred other kids in a play
land that resembles a casino/bar,
minus the poker tables and alcohol,
but three times the decibel level.
As I found our table, squealing,
hyperactive kids ran around with
plastic cups filled with tokens. And
no, they weren't strung out on meth-
amphetamines in search of slot
machines, they only appeared that
way.
They were sugar-powered, looking
to take a two-minute kiddie-ride
with Barney, Builder Bob or other
cartoon characters.
They could play games requiring
diverse and violent skill levels,
including a game where the kid
could smack with a bat one of six .
plastic animal heads that popped up,
getting a point for each hit: no
points if they used the bat on their
unsuspecting brother.
They also could buy the chance to
crawl around in a plastic tube above
the ground that resembles a pet ger-
bil's cage.
The birthday parties are given in
two-hour increments: otherwise, the
Cheese corporate office would need
to hire a pharmacist to sell to the
adults prescription-dose headache
relievers; they probably could pitch
the overwhelmed parents some birth
control devices, too. Restaurant cor-
porations, of course, are about table
turnover. You don't want a kid com-
ing in celebrating his fifth birthday
and leaving on his seventh.
The price of a party includes a
staging area consisting of one of 10
long tables with the celebrant's name

Harry Kirsbaum's e-mail address is
hkirsbaum @thejewishnews. corn

written on a large, erasable sign at
the end nearest the stage, so Chuck
E., the rodent host, can get the kid's
name right when he makes his
appearance.
Chuck E., a Sinatra-like presence,
leads each table of squealing kids in
"Happy Birthday," sung loud, clear
and off key with animatronic band
accompaniment — his personal rat
pack.
By the time Chuck E. has stopped
at all the tables, some kid from
another table is using his greasy
pizza hands and a face sticky with
soda pop to adhere himself to Chuck
E.'s knee. He's not quite ready to
give up Chuck E.
Yet, Chuck E., in post office
mode, determined to make his
appointed rounds on time, is drag-
ging the kid across the floor. After a
_ while, the kid gives up and Chuck
E. disappears into the kitchen area
where some quiet, and I would hope
an adult beverage, waits.
Leaving is tougher than arriving.
Not only are the kids not ready to
leave all that fun, the doorperson
isn't ready to let you out until she
matches the unique hand stamps she
gave both you and your kid on the
way in.
It's a comforting thought to par-
ents: making the exit much more
difficult than making an entrance.
And it's a concept that bars and
nightclubs should follow, too.
Imagine how many shootings and
parking lot fights, divorces and
breakups could be avoided if a
bouncer had the power to make sure
people left with the same dates,
spouses, etc., they came with.
It was a wonderful time, all two
hours of it, and I only regret that the
tube's diameter in the "gerbil crawl"
wasn't big enough for me. It could
have been a bit quieter in there.
I'm also happy that the birthday
party didn't happen over this past
weekend. The party would probably
have been canceled with all the snow
storm warnings, and the threats of
dangerous road conditions and trees
collapsing under the weight of the
eight to 12 inches of heavy snow,
gale-force winds and the snowdrifts
the size of Caesar's Palace. ❑

CELTIC No

Michigan's most trusted jeweler since 1977

Orchard Mall . West Bloomfield
248-932-7700
•WWW.TAPPERS.COM

charriol-usa.com

PUMP IT UP

"The Inflatable Party Zone"

A private, indoor party facility featuring exciting,

huge inflatables with a separate room reserved
for your very own private party or group event.
We provide party attendants and take care of all
the details so that you can sit back and enjoy
the party!

Classic
Party

Fri, Sat. Sun,
and H ■ Siddrs

• Invite up to 25 kids
• 11/2 hours in the play area
• 1/2 hour in the party room
• Free invitations and paper
products
• Pizza, goodie bags & balloons
available at an additional charge

0".- 28373 Beck Road, Building H
Beck Business Center
Wixom, Michigan 48393

248-374-2222.

twcwsens ,narr iota'

CPLLTOOP,i FOR A SUBSCRIPTION

248.351.5174

JN

4/28

2005

79