The Snowflakes Won't
Know What Hit Them

Saab 9-2X Linear

LEASE A 2005 SAAB 9-2X LINEAR

Parents Punk'd
I

f you're driv-
ing through
some nice,
rich subdivision
some day soon and
you notice smashed
televisions on the
curb, I might know
why.
HARRY
If you're walking
KIRSBAUM through the Somerset
Collection in Troy or
Columnist
another high-end
mall, and notice parents walking with
their teenaged children, and the chil-
dren have black eyes or swollen jaws, I
might know why.
I've come as close as I've ever come
to putting my foot through my televi-
sion, and I'm looking to borrow some-
one's 16-year-old son so I can give
him a backhand on general principles.
I know these thoughts are pretty
harsh, even for me, but just take a
look at My Super Sweet 16, MTV's
newest reality show.
Want to see extremely rich parents
fall over themselves to provide their
precious offspring with an off-the-
hook Sweet 16 party that, last episode,
cost almost $500,000? Want to see
whining teenagers play one divorced
parent off another?
Want to see teenagers buy off their
friends or demand a trip to Paris to
buy a suitable dress? Watch MTV on
Tuesday nights, 10:30 p.m. Eastern.
Take two examples, Hart and
Natalie.
"I don't think a Sweet 16 party is
girlie at all," says Hart, a 15-year-old
boy from Pennsylvania. "It doesn't
matter anyway, it's what I want."
Watch Hart's father, a celebrity
caterer, rent a $451,000 Maybach lux-
ury car, because stretch limos "are so
'80s."
"He's 16, he wants a stretch," says
Dad. "God forbid that thing goes by
my house and my neighbors see it."
Hart, who wants to excel at every-
thing except school, shows his intelli-
gence by scheduling his party the
same night as the school dance. To
ensure that his party will be a hit, he
approaches the 10 most popular girls
in school with an offer they can't
refuse. He buys them clothing from
his stepmother's high-fashion bou-

Harry Kirsbaum's e-mail address is
hkirsbaum@thejewishnews.corn

tique, with their promise that they
will show up at his party.
The party, which set the old man
back $250,000, is a hit. Hart's friends
show up late, the "dancers" Hart hired
from New York show up late, but
everyone has a great time.
Natalie has just moved from
Roswell, N.M., to La Jolla, Calif
Daddy's rich and his fiance's a trophy.
Natalie wants to have a Sweet 16
party that will make her the most pop-
ular girl at school.
"Nobody has had or will have a
Sweet 16 like this," she says. "This will
be the biggest thing to ever happen at
La Jolla High School."
"People refer to us as the rich group,
the girls that are pretty and can get
whatever they want from Daddy,"
Natalie says about her new friends. "A
lot of people look up to us for that."
Daddy spends $500,000 to make
her dream come true. He owns five of
the most popular nightclubs in
Southern California, and shuts one
down for the night for a private "invi-
tation only" party for 1,000 hand-
picked guests.
None of the guests include the fresh-
man class at Natalie's school.
"They're too dramatic," she says.
Natalie and soon-to-be mom go
shopping in Las Vegas, where she
spends around $900 on a one-of-a-
kind dress, which is almost as much as
she spends on her nails: an $800 mani-
cure that includes tiny diamonds at
$10 each.
On Natalie's big night, freshmen
crash the party anyway. The girl who
spurns drama walks around the night-
club with bodyguards, throwing them
out with the point of a finger.
This series might have Janet Jackson
Super Bowl halftime implications if
enough parents see this.
I'm not sure what motivated MTV
to come up with the idea, and I'm pos-
itive that the parents who have so far
been filmed have no idea how they
look to the rest of the world.
Most of my colleagues who only
heard about the show said the parents
should have spent the money on chari-
table causes, but they are missing the
point:
A parent like that wouldn't give the
money to charity even if they were
childless. To the parents portrayed on
this show, a kid is another thing that
needs showing off. ❑

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2/24
2005

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