********************

Last Call

STAR
DELI

Pomp And
Circumstances
I

'd love to have
been witness to
the conversa-
tion the two princes
had when they were
deciding on cos-
tume choices for
the upcoming "Bad
Taste" birthday
HARRY
party for one of
KIRSBAUM
their friends.
Columnist
"OK, Harry, I'll
dress up as a big
pussycat with black tights and a lion
print top," said England's Prince
William to his little brother. "What
about you?"
"I'll go as a Nazi," replied Prince
Harry. "Are we out of beer again?"
As the entire world knows now, a
guest with a camera phone took a
shot of an idiot at a costume party
wearing a Nazi uniform. The fact
that the idiot was none other than
Prince Harry, the third in line to the
English throne, caused the world-
wide outrage we've been suffering
through the past week.
Note to everyone: Cameras are
everywhere. A picture of someone
picking his nose at a traffic light can
be e-mailed to a gazillion friends
while the light's still red.
I have to wonder where the royal
guards-chaperones were when the
princes got in the limo.
I wonder what would have hap-
pened if a guard had the cojones to
say, "Nice try, Prince. You're not
wearing that out of the castle. If you
try, I'll tell the Queen."
Would he be the head of security
right now?
I wonder why Prince Harry's big
brother didn't see the perfect storm
coming, either.
When the picture hit the front
pages, the Prince's handlers took the
lead in damage control.
"I am very sorry if I caused any
offense or embarrassment to anyone,"
he said in a statement from
Buckingham Palace. "It was a poor
choice of costume, and I apologize."
There has been talk of Harry mak-
ing a future visit to Auschwitz, talking

Harry Kirsbaum's e-mail address is

hkirsbaum@thejewishnews.com

to rabbis, Holocaust survivors and
World War II veterans, as if that
would convince everyone that he is
really a straight-up dude.
I wonder if the press immediately
sought responses from rabbis and
Jewish groups, or if it was the reverse.
I wonder why any British citizen
wouldn't be as deeply offended by that
swastika as the chief rabbi of England.
I wonder why the Simon
Wiesenthal Center in Los Angeles is
the official "voice of Jewry," offering
what consequences should befall the
young prince.
"Prince Harry needs to reach out
and engage the very people he has
offended — particularly WWII veter-
ans groups, Holocaust survivors —
and perhaps volunteer for work in
Britain with organizations that fight
prejudice and hate," Rabbi Marvin
Hier, the Wiesenthal Center dean,
said in a press release. "That, it seems
to me, is the best way he can regain
his credibility and make a positive
contribution."
Sorry, rabbi. Prine Harry was born
into privilege and has no credibility to
start with, and positive contributions
usually show up at the bottom of the
"to-do list."
Back in the days of shlepping
drinks, I dealt with my share of
drunks. As long as you didn't fight or
wander into the wrong bathroom, you
could be as foolish as you wanted,
unless you forgot to tip.
Some people, no matter what their
background or station in life, turn
into idiots when they drink, and some
are just idiots. The prince fits into the
latter category.
It's been decades since the world has
had another Billy Carter to follow.
The former president's brother, with
his drinking zeal ("Pull the plane over,
I need to pee"), drew news media
attention from around the world. If
you check, you can probably find a
can of Billy Beer for sale on eBay.
Prince Harry is still young, and he's
just getting warmed up. There are
plenty of embarrassing photos he's yet
to be part of, and plenty of groups to
offend before he checks into another
rehab clinic.
As Forrest Gump said, "Stupid is as
stupid does."

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2005

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