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Obnoxious Boss are the only proof
umbers
I need to show that television producers
never lie.
are getting their ideas from Jeff
If the
Foxworthy wanabees during open-mike
Nielsen ratings for
nights
at the Smoke 'n Spit Saloon in
Dec. 13-19 hold up,
Texarkana.
the demise of reality
To see how far we've come down the
television is happen-
ladder of television entertainment, you
ing as you read.
only have to see what the networks
While almost 17
HARRY
define as a classic.
million viewers
KI RS BAUM
First came the tele-movie Three's
tuned in to
Columnist
Company:
Between the Laughs, which
Donald Trump's
aired
after
John Ritter died in 2003, and
season finale of
retold
the
story
of the 1970s ABC hit.
The Apprentice 2, the numbers weren't
Mild success breeds offshoots, so
as phenomenal as the Donald will
NBC aired Behind the Camera: The
have us believe.
Unauthorized Story of Charlie's Angels in
Sure, it was the fifth-ranked show
March
2004, another behind-the-scenes
that week and the only reality-based
movie
about
the monster T and A hit.
show to make it in the top 10, but
Which
led
to Dynasty: The Making of
unless you're using the Donald's casino
a
Guilty
Pleasure,
which airs on ABC,
math, it still lost 39 percent of the 28
Jan. 2.
million viewers who watched the first
Cleavage gives way to caviar, padded
Apprentice finale.
shoulders and 1980s excess. What's
The very cleverly written Desperate
next?
Housewives claimed the top spot again,
I'm still waiting for the next fond
and the three CSI series, better known
look
back: B. J. and the Bear: the
as "Dead Cells Talking," shared the top
Behind-the-Scenes
Plot to Kill Grizzly
10 with 60 Minutes, two comedies and
Adams.
two other cop dramas.
Some critics say that Desperate
Sure, the reality "classics" season
Housewives is a rehash of Dallas and
doesn't begin until the third week of
Dynasty which is way off the mark.
January, starting with American Idol,
Sure,
while the shows all had some
but how long will this gravy train
go on? How many more clever
insults can Simon come up with in
the fourth version of a national
karaoke contest? And will the worst
singer become as famous as the last
worst singer, the "She Bang" guy,
William Hung?
Will anyone care about the next
Survivor unless it's filmed in the
Arctic, and the weekly loser is sent
off as polar bear bait on an iceberg?
So the genre is always looking for
new ideas, and you gotta hand it to
Fox TV's upcoming entry.
Who Your Daddy? pits a whole-
some-looking adopted woman
"Housewives": The wave of the future?
against a lineup of 10 possible bio-
logical fathers. Pick the right one
great eye candy, the tongue-in-cheek
and she wins $100,000. There is no
writing about the inhabitants of
mention of what happens if she picks
Wisteria Lane is so far above the others,
the wrong one, although the sequel
I see network executives telling Donald,
Who Been Sleeping With My Sugar
"Sorry, Mr. Trump. You're fired. We
Daddy? might be a possibility.
need
the boardroom for some real writ-
Reality shows like this one and recent
ers
about
a new show called Desperate
new shows like Amish in the City,
Writers:
How
Hollywood Finally Won
Trading Spouses, and My Big Fat

Ni

Harry Kirsbaum's e-mail address is
hicirsbaum@thejevvishnews.com

12/31

2004

60

Immunity from Orange-Haired Billion-
aires, Bachelors and Busty Women Who
Eat Maggots."

