OTHER VIEWS
From Strength To Strength
T
That is our collective charge.
he blast of the shofar, so
It is our good fortune to live
ancient, yet so familiar,
here in Detroit, where we
heralds the arrival of
enjoy a quality of Jewish life
our High Holidays. Drawn in by
that is outstanding in the level
its sound, we are summoned,
of
services we provide, in our
called to action, joining Jewish
agencies,
schools and syna-
communities around the world
4ik
gogues, in virtually every
in preparation for the year
aspect of our identity and cul-
PETER M.
ahead.
ture as a community. When we
ALTER
This is our time — a time to
recount the blessings of our
turn towards introspection and
Community
great
Jewish community, we
self-examination. A time to
Perspective
must
think of and remember
reflect and to respond, reaffirm-
our challenges, as well. As we
ing our commitments to our
enjoy our remarkable achievements, we
family, our community, our rich history
must answer the critical needs yet to be
and traditions.
addressed.
On Rosh Hashanah, it is written. On
How can one answer the needs of so
Yom Kippur, it is sealed. On these, our
many?
Today and throughout the year
holiest of days, not only do we mark the
ahead, we call on you to embrace
beginning of our new year, we strive for
Federation's Annual Campaign and its
renewal in ourselves. In so doing, we
mission to provide hundreds of acts of
grow, improve and enrich ourselves as
loving kindness to thousands of those in
individuals, and as members of a loving
need throughout our community and
family and caring community.
around
the world. Our mission is exem-
As our tradition teaches, we strive to
plified by our Annual Campaign, which
reach beyond our individual limits and
is all about uniting as one community.
collectively engage in making a differ-
It is no cliche when we say, "Kol yisrtzel
ence for those who are less fortunate.
areivin
zeh b'zeh — All Israel is responsi-
We call this tzedakah, our responsibility.
ble for one another. ),
Each year, our Annual Campaign
Peter M. Alter is incoming president
touches thousands of lives. But the
of the Bloomfield Township-based Jewish
numbers of those who need our help are
Federation of Metropolitan Detroit.
growing at an alarming rate. Families at
financial risk, those awaiting social serv-
ices from our local agencies, those in
dire need of basic humanitarian relief in
Israel, in the former Soviet Union, in
Argentina and in Jewish communities
around the world, those who are most
vulnerable among us, all wait for us to
choose.
How can we choose? Whom do we
turn away? Whose healthcare and well
being do we deny? Whose Jewish educa-
tion will we fail to support? Whose par-
ents or grandparents will we abandon as
they grow older and frail? How can we
say no?
Indeed, our charge is to say yes. Every
year, we must do more. This is our
responsibility. We must reach down to
find the best within ourselves and give
more of ourselves. If each of us can do a
little more this year, then imagine all
that we will accomplish together: repair-
ing the world.
On behalf of a grateful community,
we ask for and thank you for your gen-
erosity and your strength. L'Shanah
Tovah.
Wishing you and all the family of
Israel a happy, healthy and peaceful
New Year. May we all be inscribed in
the Book of Life.
Interfaith Curveballs To Strength
daughters to its preschool and
summer camp program.
We hope that, with these posi-
tive experiences, they will carry
their religion and culture forward
throughout their lives. We, as
much as anybody, know that
intermarriages do happen.
If our daughters end up in such
a scenario, we hope that they.
look to our family model for
direction. Funny how one little
question can make us see how
our parents must have felt when
we first started dating.
Ann Arbor
W
ith our anniversary fast
approaching, I am wowed by
the fact that it has been 12
years since Bonnie and I had our Jewish-
ish wedding.
During that time, we have been living
in interfaith bliss. We spent a lot of time
working out our religious differences
and planning what our family would
look like before we walked down the
aisle. Our plan was for me to maintain
my Protestant faith while helping
Bonnie to raise our children in her faith,
Judaism.
We always knew that we'd have to
tweak the game plan from time to time,
but we were both a little surprised when
we realized that there were some things
we had not anticipated.
Just when we were thinking, "Oh
yeah, we've got this interfaith family
thing all worked out," somebody had to
throw us a curveball and remind us that
we didn't think of everything.
JN
9/17
2004
40
Jim Keen is a freelance writer with 18
years of experience in an interfaith rela-
tionship. This commentary first
appeared on IntezfaithFamily.com
My wife and I were at a function at
our synagogue when a woman that we
barely knew asked us what we would do
if our children started dating someone
who wasn't Jewish. Because our two
daughters were only 6 and 3 at the time,
I wanted to say, "I don't know, I'll get
back to you in eight or nine years."
Bonnie answered something about
how we would be supportive of whatev-
er they chose to do. That was a quick
reply designed to be polite, but really
said, "We haven't thought about it
much."
Later that evening, when the kids were
in bed, the two of us discussed the ques-
tion further. It didn't take us long to fig-
ure out that we would, indeed, be sup-
portive of their decision to date someone
who wasn't Jewish. After all, we didn't
always date people within our own faith
growing up.
However, Bonnie and I have made a
strong commitment to raise out girls
Jewish. In addition to celebrating the
holidays in the home, we belong to a
temple. The girls attend religious school
there. We also belong to the Jewish
Community Center and send our
Payers
ayers
ewish tradition
teaches that
on Rosh
Hashanah, God
holds open the Book
of Life to all who
approach Him in
PRESIDENT
prayer. As you gather
GEORGE W. to pray, may God
BUSH
grant your prayers
Special
for a peaceful new
year.
As you share in the
traditional festivities of this special
time of year, you renew your com-
mitment to acts of compassion, and
to the cause of freedom around the
world.
Together, all of us are helping to
build a world filled with the bless-
ings of family, health and peace.
Laura joins me in sending our best
wishes, for a blessed Rosh Hashanah
and a sweet new year ❑
thought into it, and didn't
want to, she at least knew that
Jews and Christians weren't
usually buried in the same
cemeteries. We would have to
talk to our clergy to find out
what people did in our situa-
tion.
I guess that's the rub ri ght
JIM KEEN
there.
Our "situation" is not
Co mmunity
easily
defined
within Judaism
Per spective
and Christianity. There are no
hard and fast rules in many
congregations, so a lot of con-
fusion can ensue. Or, there are rules, and
they sometimes aren't inclusive of one of
the partners.
Death's Door
There was also the question of
After reaching an understanding on this
bereavement. As the rabbi and minister
new issue, within days we encountered
both told us, it's not a subject that most
yet another, more daunting one.
couples, even same-faith couples, take
A good friend asked me if I had ever
the time to go over. But, if there isn't a
written anything about death and
plan, those loved ones who are left
bereavement in an interfaith family. To
behind have to guess:
tell the truth, I hadn't. The thought had
Should I sit shivah (the Jewish period
never even crossed my mind. Death was
of mourning for seven days)? Would she
a topic that I just didn't care to delve
sit shivah for me? Which of the Jewish
into. I usually like to write about having
customs would our family take part in?
fun and enjoying life.
Would we cover our mirrors? Would we
Naturally, though, curiosity overcame
cut keriah (the act of cutting one's cloth-
my phobia. I broached the subject with
ing, either actually or symbolically, to
Bonnie. Although she hadn't put much
represent the tearing apart that the death