Matchmaker's Mitzvahs

When an intuitive matchmaker links up with a synagogue, its a match made in heaven.

SHARON LUCKERMAN

Staff Writer

F

4IN

6/18

2004

64

, riends learned to respect Lisa Chaben's gut
instincts long before she officially became a
matchmaker.
"We could be at the mall, and she'd grab my arm
and say, 'This and that person have to meet.' The next
thing I know, I'm invited to a shower and a wedding,"
says friend Renee Schulman of West Bloomfield, who
experienced Chaben's gift first hand.
After a decade-long friendship with Schulman,
divorced 11 years ago, Chaben called her last
December and said, "You've got to meet Ed Cohen; I
have a gut feeling."
Schulman, a former radio producer currently earning
a master's degree at Wayne State University in arts and
teaching, agreed to meet the Farmington Hills attorney.
-Since their first date, the two have been inseparable.
"Ed's been worth the wait," she says.
Chaben, who lives in West Bloomfield, has been
asked to participate in 38 weddings — all of people
she's matched. As of a couple months ago, Chaben also
has fixed up 70 people who are currently dating.
"I put an ad in the Jewish News in May and I got
over 300 calls," Chaben says, adding that she had to
pull her ad when people complained she wasn't getting .
to them fast enough. "I feel so bad. I don't want these
people to be alone, but it's only me — I'm spending six
hours a day returning phone calls and setting up
appointments."
Then she met Rabbi Dannel Schwartz of Temple
Shir Shalom.
"It was besher4" says the rabbi.
Chaben's parents are member of his synagogue.
Chaben belongs to Temple Israel.
"I heard what Lisa was doing and we talked about
it," he said. "She said she wanted to get involved [as a
matchmaker] with a temple and I said I wanted to get
our temple involved with a matchmaker. We created
Soulmating 4 Life."
The rabbi says that matchmaking in the Jewish com-
munity is a mitzvah. He's especially pleased to find a
way people can meet each other without going to a bar.
"We're supposed to be a family and create a concept
of community in the synagogue, and we leave singles
out in the cold," Rabbi Schwartz says. "Now we know
what to do."
Soulmating 4 Life will charge a fee, not yet deter-
mined, and will include an appointment with a life
coach who will help with things like makeup, dress and
nutrition, Chaben says.
She already has plans for the synagogue matchmak-
ing venture that include summer events open to the
Jewish and non-Jewish community. She plans to hold
workshops on yoga and Kabbalah, and a Shabbat serv-
ice under the sun. Her coordinator for these special
events is Jodi Silverman of Farmington Hills.
The rabbi will not interview the singles, but will hire

One of 38 couples Lisa Chaben, left, has matched: bride and groom Rena and Mark Gardner of West Bloomfield,
joined by Larry Gardner of Beverly Hills.

people to answer the phone and make appointments to
meet Chaben.

Matchmaker's Technique

Chaben, who was featured in a recent Wall Street
Journal article on matchmakers and dating, says she
works on matches intuitively. "I try to fix people up for
life, to find their soul mate, not just for a date. I'm not
a dating service. If you want that go on J-Date."
That service, she found, has some problems. After
hearing that men lie about things like being Jewish and
their age, Chaben does background checks on all the
men who apply for matches.
She says she's turned away more than 100 people
from matchmaking because they are not ready to find
their mate.
While she does not use photographs — "it's not
about looks" — she does have a five-page worksheet
and she tries to spend an hour or two to get to know
each client. "I look for compatibility" she says.

Chaben has been married for 18 years. "Friends flock
to me and see the way we are — like Ozzie and
Harriet," she says about her and her husband, Steven,
regional vice-president for Marcus and Millichap of
Southfield. "He's my soul mate. And the key is we're a
team. He doesn't look to make me happy, or me him.
"Nobody makes you happy," Chaben says. "It comes
from within. And when you project that happiness,
everything else comes together in your life." ❑

Meet -Lisa Chaben

at the first of three
summer parties for singles and couples intro-
ducing Soulmating, 4 Life. Chaben and
Marlene Peitz of Birmingham will host the
party at 8:30 p.m. July 15 at Posh in
Ferndale. Tickets at the door: $25 per person,
including appetizers and a cash bar. For infor
mation, call (248) 760-3995. ❑

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