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I'm So Outta Here

$2000 (AMUCK ON
MO CROSS COUNTRY

New 2004 Volvo XC70 Cross Country All Wheel Drive wagon
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for life

DWYER

SONS
VOLVO

"D

248-624-0400

OPEN
SATURDAYS

On Maple Rd., West of Haggerty

Volvosales@dwyerandsons.corn
www.dwyerandsons.corn

838430

Adult Primary Care Associates

Health Care and Disease Prevention

Caring, listening and taking
time for our patients and their
families are our top priorities!
We promote wellness, prevent
disease and effectively manage
existing conditions.

Cindy Diskin, APRN, BC • Kathi Payson, APRN, BC
Linda Urso, APRN, BC, CDE

Diabetes Specialist Available

Collaborating Physicians

Larry Dell, MD & Barbara Cingel, MD

• Diagnose, Treat & Manage Acute and Chronic Illnesses

• Prescriptions/Medication Renewals

• Physicals

• Education & Counseling

• Referrals

• Home & Assisted Living Visits

• School, College and Sports Physicals Available

Open for Medicare patients and other insurances

248-357-3569

5/ 7
2004

84

26771 W. Twelve Mile Rd, Suite 101 • Southfield MI 48034

n the not-so-
distant past,
local news-
casters wel-
comed springtime
by wearing white
shoes, white belts
and a red suit —
kind of like Santa
HARRY
Claus without the
KIRSBAUM weight.
Columnist
In the 21st centu-
ry, however, May
means television
sweeps. The daily news segments of
fires, traffic accidents and murder
scenes have been complemented by
stories of "The Danger in Your
Kitchen," "The Danger in Your
Hotel Room," or "Golf Course
Strippers."
This "Wa tch-us-at-11-or-you'll-
die-or-miss-out-on-
some-soft-core-porn"
has been part of the
May sweeps experi-
ence across the coun-
try
But a local news
station in Detroit
stepped over the line
this week by inject-
Trump
ing reality television
into reality.
In a bald (no pun intended) rip-
off of Donald Trump's The
Apprentice, The Intern (insert your
Clinton White House joke here) pits
six law school students against each
other for a summer internship with
famed Detroit Attorney Geoffrey
Fieger.
So far, they've raced through a
ropes course, figured out a checker-
board-type game on floor tiles, and
sold jerseys during a hockey game
— all much-needed skill sets for
attorneys, as anyone knows.
And it's all wedged between the
daily murders, assaults, robberies,
house fires, car chases and the War
on Terrorism.
Rehashing some Trump expres-
sions, the promotion for this show

at every station break has been
INCREDIBLE!!! UNBELIEV-
ABLE!!! SUPER!!!
The problems with the show are
obvious.
Forget the fact that in a five-
minute segment, you never get to
know the players, the strategies they
use to complete the task or even
what the task is. You only get the
setup, the result and Fieger saying,
"You're outta' here" to one of the
poor shlubs in a cheesy boardroom
set.
Fieger and Trump are both self-
promoters and great at what they
do, but there's no comparison:
Trump trumps Fieger at every turn.
Fieger gets bored lawyering? He
runs for governor.
Trump gets bored building stuff?
He runs for president.
Fieger hasn't changed his hair
since 1983.
Trump convinced
Photo by Doug Bauman,
his
stylist to weave
Oakland Press
13 orange back hairs
into what we see
today.
I just wonder if it
looks like he's wear-
ing a thin 6-foot
cape when he comes
out of the shower
Fieger
every morning.
I didn't care much
for The Apprentice, but I did watch
the last few episodes.
I really don't care for The Intern,
and I'll watch the other news station
for a while.
I don't expect local news to give
me much anymore. Just tell me
about the latest murder or hover
over a car accident with a chopper.
Tell me what time the game starts
tonight, and give me an accurate
weather report at least one day out
of seven, and I'll be happy.
If I want a reality show, I'll tune
to Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
every time.
Throw a reality game show into
the local news mix and you've lost
me — unless you can get someone
to eat worms.

❑