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No Bird On A Wire

room nearby, bringing back more coffee (fresh,
"not from the bottom of the pot, and one cream")
and armloads of books from the two shelves. "No,
I've read that one," she'd say countless times,
had to come back several times in October 2002
squinting at the book jackets. She had to take off
before Rossie found me. She always seemed to be
her glasses to see close and to read.
sleeping when I came to visit her at the Evergreen
It wasn't until I discovered the huge bookshelves in
Health and Living Center in Southfield.
the activity room that Rossie and I worked out a better
At first, I'd leave a note: "I'm Alan Hitsky from
plan. She would slowly slide from the bed to her rarely
B'nai Moshe's Bikur Cholim Committee ..." After a
used wheelchair, and we'd roll down
few Sundays, I gently knocked on the
.to
the treasure trove to check out
table to wake her, while holding.her
some books.
mandatory cup of coffee.
• I'd pull a bunch off the shelves —
And she would open one eye, say "Oh"
no Harlequins, please — and place
or "Humph" and then turn on the smile.
them in Rossie's lap, one by one.
We'd talk. A lot. Mostly her. In bed.
Shed pick them up, squint, and
Through a succession of roommates, a
accept or reject. When we had six
few interruptions from the practical nurs-
"keepers," we'd hang them in a bag
es, the roommate's blaring TV But we
on her chair's handles and wheel tri-
talked.
umphantly back to her room.
At first, we even talked about the cars
Rossie was no introvert. She loved
passing along 13 Mile, outside her win-
to tell stories and socialize. But
dow. She counted which colors were
when we first met, she didn't want
most popular. Then we talked about
-
to
sit with the "birds on the wire,"
books. She read several each week,
n
Rossie
Perlma
the
other ladies and a few male resi-
brought by her son and daughter-in-law,
dents of the assisted-living wing who
Hal and Cindy, from Brighton, or by
hung out in a row of cushy chairs and sofas by the
her niece, Sandy Hodess, from Oak Park. She even
nurses' station — like sedentary birds all in a row, on
traded books with the nursing staff.
a telephOne wire.
And she had me running to the small dining

ALAN HITSKY

Associate Editor

I

She Loved Kindness

DAVID SACHS

Senior Copy Editor

W

hen Edith Friedman was a little girl in the
Belarus shred of David-Horodok, her
Hebrew teacher, who lived next door, was
slain in a pogrom.
But young Edith's love for education, for her fel-
low Jews and for her hometown never wavered --
and inspired her throughout her life.
Mrs. Friedman, 90, of Southfield, died April 28,
2004.
Granddaughter Shama Ballon of London described
her outgoing bubbie as epitomizing an ethical ideal
to always greet everyone with a
from Pirkei Avot
happy countenance.
"My bubbie loved life, loved people and saw a
beauty and joy in everything and everyone," she said
For more than 60 years, Mrs. Friedman was a
leader in Detroit's David-Horodoker Organization
- a social club of immigrants bound by the memo-
ry of their hometown and dedicated to performing
acts of kindliness for the Jewish community
"While visiting Israel, Bubbie would visit the Alyn
Children's Hospital as a representative of the David-

,

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2004

108

Horodok women," said Shana. "She said how won-
derful it that was she could help these children have
a better life. She always made me want to give more
to people."
As a girl, Mrs. Friedman immigrated with her
family to New Orleans where she completed
Hebrew high school. After moving to Detroit to
wed Jack Friedman -- the beginnin.g of a 65-year
marriage — she taught Hebrew school and even
conducted her own Hebrew classes in her kitchen
for neighborhood girls.
She was more learned that the most Jewish
women of that era," said Rabbi Chaim Bergstein of
Bais Chabad of Farmington Hills at the funeral.
"The love of learning never left hen"
Mrs. Friedman instilled this love for learning in
her children, Alvin Friedman of Southfield, Linda
Shen of West Bloomfield and Aharon (Arthur)
Friedman of Jerusalem. In her later years, she would
attend lunchtime shiurs (religious discourses) held at
son Alvin's office led by Rabbi Elimelech Silberberg
of Sara Tugman Bais Chabad Torah Center.
In addition, Mrs. Friedman took delight in Jewish
culture and Yiddish music.
Mrs. Friedman was beaming last September when
Cantor Stephen DuiDov of Congregation Chaye

She loved her fellow residents, but she also got mad
at them. Some complained "all the time." Others
would be too thin-skinned. Some repeated themselves.
She had a stroke years back and a few falls in recent
years; her mobility was limited. But her, room was the
closest to the nurses' station. In the last year, she
started holding court again with the other birds.
She'd use her walker to slowly make her way to her
favorite chair — second from the end, between Anne
and Goldie — and be the life of the party.
She told dirty jokes; she lectured; she told stories;
she scolded. And if she ran out of patience, she
returned to her room. She never ate in the dining
room, preferring to dine in bed. "Why?" I finally asked
her one Sunday. "Because they always pick at each
other," she answered, "and I get tired of it."

Pistons Fanatic

Rossie's bed was her home. From there she would
root for the Detroit Pistons, shouting at the players
on the TV screen. "Go, Chauncey!" she'd yell. "Way
to go, Rip!" And she quizzed me about the players
and the opponents, forcing me to dredge up NBA
stars' names that I never knew I knew I learned not
to visit Rossie when a Pistons' game was on — she
was way too busy.
She was tiny, but she was the equivalent of a mod-
em-day point guard while growing tip in pre-World
War II Ottawa. She happily talked about her parents,
the family and friends living in the neighborhood,
her sister and brother and working for the Canadian

Olatn helped celebrate her 90th birthday along with
dozens of her relatives and friends.
An important part of her life was giving to charity.
"She never turned down any of the many requests
she received in the mail," said son Aharon.
In addition to the David-Horodoker Organization,
MIS. Friedman was devoted to B'nai B'rith Women
(now WI). For over half a century, she was a local
B'nai Midi activist, serving in numerous leadership
and fiind-raising capacities. And for 30 years, she
organized the 13'nai 13'rith's Entertainment coupon-
book fund-raiser. "She felt she was doing a mitzvah
by helping B'nai Writh," said daughter Linda.
Mrs. Friedman had a spirit of adventure and
traveled with her family to Israel and Europe. "My
mother enjoyed life, going places and especially
being with young people," Linda said. "She was
always a positive person."

Happy Countenance'

Speaking at the fimeral, Rabbi Herbert Yoskowitz of
Adat Shalom Synagogue remembered Mrs. Friedman
as a woman of internal strength who was always one
to greet me with a happy countenance.' Rabbi
Bergstein added that Mrs. Friedman's most unique
quality was her special love for people.
She didn't just practice kindness — she loved
kindness, said Rabbi Bergstein. She had a unique