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members of my extended family, tried to
bring me back. No one tried to 'talk
sense' into me.
"There were some people who sur-
prised me. One minister told me he felt
betrayed and we had a hostile conversa-
tion. But then he added, 'Still, I know
God has ordained you for good work' It
was the last time I ever heard from
him."
Finding Love .
When Futch first married, she was "too
young," she says. She had known virtu-
ally nothing about dating and courting.
Now, not only was she dating, a total-
ly new experience, she was Jewish and
dating.
Meet the latest shadchan (matchmak-
er) in the Jewish community: the .
Internet.
Futch liked to visit the Bitachon
("Safety") Web site because it is super-
vised by a rabbi. Here, she began chat-
ting with Richard Rogow.
She liked him right away. He liked
her, too. What they didn't like about
their situation: the distance. Futch was
in Allentown and Rogow was over 500
miles away in Dayton, Ohio. Still,
Rogow pursued his new computer
friend and eventually Futch gave him
her phone number.
Then it was time to meet. Rogow
came twice to Allentown, then paid for
Futch to visit him in Dayton. He was
ready to get married, but she hesitated.
"I thought maybe we should cool
things off, because of the distance," she
says. "But then a friend was asking
about Richard, and I had absolutely
nothing negative to say about him. My
friend told me, 'Well, it sounds like this
could be a great friendship at worst.'"
Soon after, Richard and Cecelia decid-
ed to get married.
Because Richard's mother was dying
of cancer, and the couple very much
wanted her to be at their wedding, with
their rabbi's encouragement Richard and
Cecelia set the date for one month after
their engagement.
"I was a little unnerved," Futch-
Rogow says. "But then I thought, 'Why
wait?'"
The wedding was at the nursing
home, in a room filled with stained
glass, and it was perfect, Futch-Rogow
says. "Thank God, Richard's mother was
there."
Futch-Rogow's family is close with
Richard, and now comfortable with
Cecelia's decision to become Jewish.
"My kids feel, 'Well, this is Mom's
thing,"' she says. "At first, it was a little
strange, but it has grown on them. They
never rebelled or were angry."
Nor did her parents and siblings
express hostility at her decision to con-
vert to Judaism.
"My parents haven't always under-
stood, but they have always remained
supportive," she says. "I think they were
disappointed that I left Christianity, but
pleased that I kept my relationship with
God."
Her siblings were, if not encouraging
of her decision, never critical. One
brother, like his parents, loves traveling,
biking and kayaking, but has little inter-
est in religion. The youngest two Futch
brothers are active Christians, though
neither is Methodist.
"We talk, we just don't talk about my
religious choices," Futch-Rogow says.
"They have never condemned my deci-
sion, but they've never expressed curiosi-
ty, either. Still, I know they are always
there for me."
Futch-Rogow believes her mother has
"struggled most with my decision," but
she remains the most interested in
Cecelia's choice to become Jewish.
Several years ago, Futch-Rogow
returned home to visit her parents and
laughs as she recalls what must have
been a curious sight: In one window, a
Christmas tree, sparkling and glittering
with rainbow lights. In another window,
a menorah, candles aflame for
Chanukah.
Soon after she lit her menorah, Futch-
Rogow's mother sat down and asked
many questions about the-meaning and
history of Chanukah.
Futch-Rogow says her middle child,
Mica Ruth Engelhardt-Watson, is the
one who finds Cecelia's choice most
challenging, though she also has been
"very supportive," as have been her other
two children, Tim. Engelhardt and Mary
Engelhardt.
When Mica Ruth went into labor, she
expressed concern that it might be on a
Saturday, which meant she couldn't talk
to her mother until after Shabbat. When
Futch-Rogow's son Tim got engaged, he
planned the wedding for Sunday after-
noon rather than Saturday, so his moth-
er would be able to attend.
Initially, her family found it a bit dis-
concerting when Futch-Rogow came to
their homes with her own food, and her
meals were always served on paper plates
and consumed with plastic ware. "By
now, though, they've gotten used to it,"
she says.
Tim, who lives in Pittsburgh, is glad
his mother "is in a spot that keeps her •
strong and focused ... I'm happy for her.
It seems to fit her." He's very fond of his
new stepfather, Richard, as well. "He's
FINDING HER TRUTH
on page 44
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