DOER
PROFILE
BEND ICI IA\
City: Huntington Woods
Kudos: "Taps" Trumpter
At 12 years old, why did you make playing
"Taps" at funerals a part of your bar mitzvah
project at Congregation Shir Tikvah?
"I went to the funeral of my dad's cousin who
was in the Army. The coffin was draped with a flag
and an
honor guard
was present
and I expect-
ed someone
to be playing
`Taps' — but
instead they
used a
recording. I
think it
would be
important to
families to
have some-
Staff photo by Angie Bann
one play it."
Now that you've told area funeral directors of
your availability to play "Taps," will you be pre-
pared?
"I've been playing trumpet for two years and I
play in my school's band at Anderson Middle
School in Berkley. I practice the trumpet three
times a week for half-an-hour, and I include
"Taps" each time. But I already knew how to play
it — it's easy."
How do you feel about the responsibility and
importance of playing for those at the funeral of
a loved one?
"I'm used to playing in the band, but not per-
forming away from my school. I think it would be
pretty cool, but I would be very nervous."
Unbeknownst to Ben, when David Techner, funeral
director at Ira Kaufman Chapel in Southfield,
received Ben's request, he said he was "deeply moved"
and penned a letter to President Bush informing him
of Ben's patriotism.
•
— Shelli Liebman Dorfman, staff writer
3/ 5
2004
10
Grief And The City
they can.
etroit is a city com-
I don't like to think that any human being is
posed of hundreds of
beyond redemption. But if a child is raised by a
thousands of good
32-year old grandmother, with no male authority
people.
figure in his life, with no value placed on educa-
They hold down jobs, take care
tion, with no example of deferred gratification
of their homes, obey the law, go to
leading to ultimately greater rewards, with drugs
church, try to do the best they can
and guns more readily obtained than books and
for their children.
structure — what have you let loose on the world?
But there is a certain percentage
GEORGE
A former colleague of mine at the Detroit News
of residents who are interested in
CANTOR
used to refer to Detroit as a "city of fiances."
Reality Check none of these things; whose only
Because in almost every negative story that came
interest is to disrupt, destroy and
out of the city, the common bond seemed to be an
diminish the lives of those around
absence of family, of a married couple in a stable
them. They exist in every large American city.
home. The dead or grieving woman was always
Unfortunately, I have come to believe this percent-
somebody's "fiance."
age of hard-core
That's why I find the media happy talk about
sociopaths is
Detroit's rebirth so
larger in Detroit
much pap. Unless
than anyplace
this rebirth involves
else.
a genuine change
Why this
in the circum-
should be is a
stances of actual
question we have
births, it is all just
been wrestling
conversation.
with for the last
A solid family
35 years, since
structure was one
the city's homi-
of the strengths of
cide rate began
the black commu-
taking off in the
nity into the
late 1960s.
1960s. How that
The recent
structure was
slaughter of two
undercut and
Matthew Bowens
young police
destroyed by whol-
officers,
Jennifer Fettig
ly misguided gov-
Matthew Bowens and Jennifer Fettig, seems to
ernment programs,
have aroused a sense of outrage throughout the
undertaken with
entire area. Families of the dead officers are
the best of intentions, is one of the great tragedies
demanding legislation that would mandate the
of the last century. The unforeseen consequences
death penalty for cop killers. Mayor Kwame
will be with us for many years to come.
Kilpatrick has asked the city's churches to take a
That is why I am suspicious of anyone who tries
more active role in changing attitudes.
to tell me that the family is an outmoded struc-
But we've been through this cycle before, haven't
ture, and that its definition has to change with the
we? Too many times to count.
times.
After each incident, similar anger has been
Because some consequences are always unfore-
expressed and vows are made that the city has to
seen, and there is good cause to be reluctant to
change. But the prayers and the promises never
tamper, no matter how high-minded the reasons,
reach those who pull the triggers. I don't believe
with social structures that have been set in place
for millennia.
George Cantor's e-mail address is
You know where the road paved with good
gcantor@thejevvishnews.com
intentions leads. Just read the local papers. ❑
Shabbat Candlelighting
"When I light Shabbos candles, I pray for my family, for peace in Israel and in the world and for
friends to find their soul-mates."
— Galina Feldman, Oak Park, musician
Candlelighting
Friday, March 12, 6:18 p.m.
REPORT A DOER...
Candlelighting
Friday, March 5, 6:09 p.m.
Know a Doer — someone of any age doing interest-
ing, meaningful things in their life outside of their
job? Share suggestions with Keri Guten Cohen, story
development editor, at (248) 351-5144 or e-mail:
kcohen@thejewishnews.com
Shabbat Ends
Shabbat Ends
Saturday, March 6, 7:11 p.m.
Saturday, March 13, 7:20 p.m.
To submit a candlelightiv message, call Miriam Arnzalak of the Lubavitch Women's Organization at (248) 548-6771 or e-mai• mamzalakuno.corn