For Openers
`Twas The Night ...
he December, dilemma may be
plaguing many this time of
year, but that does not mean we
must lose our sense of humor.
Here is a poem that has been making the Internet
rounds, as it does each year:
The Night Before Chanukah
SY
MANELLO
Editorial
Assistant
`Twas the night before Chanukah, boychicks
and maidels
Not a sound could be heard, not even the
dreidels.
The menorah was set on the chimney, alight
In the kitchen the bubbie hut gechapt (was
getting) a bite.
Salami, pastrami, a glessala tay (glass of tea)
And zayerah (sour) pickles with bagels, oy vay!
Gezunt (healthy) and frailech (happy), the kinderlech felt
While dreaming of tagelach (a sweet treat) and Chanukah gelt.
The clock on the mantelpiece away was tickin'
And Bubbie was serving a schtickala (little bit) chicken.
A tumult arose like a thousand brauches (blessings),
Santa had fallen and broken his ruches.
I put on my slippers, eins, tsvay, drei, (1-
2-3)
While Bubbie was now on the herring
and rye.
I grabbed for my bathrobe and but-
toned my gotkes (underwear)
While Bubbie was busy devouring the
latkes.
To the window I ran and to my sur-
prise
A little red yarmulka greeted my eyes.
Then he got to the door and saw the
menorah,
"Yiddishe kinder," he said, "Kenehora
(no evil eye).
I thought I was in a goyisha hoise, (gen-
tile house)
But as long as I'm here, I'll leave a few
5,
toys.
With much gesshray, (cry) I asked, "Du bist a Yid?" (Are you
Jewish?)
Mvada, mein ?lumen is Schloimey Claus, kid."
"Come into the kitchen, I'll get you a dish,
A guppell, (fork) a schtickala (piece) fish."
With smacks of delight, he started his fressen, (eating)
Chopped liver, knaidlach and kreplah gegessen.
Along with his meal, he had a few schnapps,
When it came to eating, this boy was the tops.
He asked for some knishes with pepper and salt,
But they were so hot, he yelled "Oy Gevalt."
Unbuttoning his haizen, (pants) he rose from the tisch (table)
And said, "Your kosher essen is simply delish."
As he went to the door, he said
see you later,
I'll be back next Pesach, in time for the
seder."
More rapid than eagles his prancers
they came,
As he whistled and shouted and called
them by name:
"Now Izzy, now Morris, now Yitzak,
now Sammy,
Now Irving and Maxie, and Moishe
and Mannie."
He gave a gesshray (yell) as he drove
out of sight:
"Gooten Yomtov to all, and to all a
good nio-ht."D
Artwork courtesy of the Jewish News
Chanukah Coloring Contest. Created by
Arley Ruskin, age 8, of Sanford, Florida.
Shabbat Candlelighting
liAr
hat is the mitzvah (bib-
lical commandment)
you can complete while
sleeping?
— Goldfein
•i.funns a y tri daais puE aua ‘Jrs of pa
-pu-eunuoD si auo ‘lonns u0 :Jamsuy
Quotables
"What's going to keep us
going is doing things the way
they were done 100 years ago.
If we become homogenized,
we will disappear. So we try
to keep everything, even the
pronunciation, which is close
to what is believed to be
ancient Hebrew."
—Rabbi Ya'aqob Menashe, an Iraqi
emigre who now runs Midrash Ben Ish
Hai in New York to keep Iraqi Jewish
culture alive in America.; quoted in
November issue of Hadassah magazine.
Yiddish Limericks
I cheated on my girlfriend Gittel,
And now I feel guilty a little.
I tried to deny it, -
- But she wouldn't buy it.
Mhfen gonif" she said, "brent dos hit-
tell'
— Martha Jo Fleischmann
"I inherited my great-grandmother's candlesticks. My mother passed them to me before
she passed away because she knew that I would light them. My great-grandmother,
grandmother and mother probably join me when I light them."
— Leah Rosenstein, homemaker, Oak Park
* (literal) On the thief, the hat burns.
(idiomatic) A guilty person is always
sensitive.
SponsOred by Lubavitch Womens Organization. To submit a candlelighting message or to receive
complimentary candlesticks and information on Shabbat candlelighting, call Miriam Amzalak of Oak Park at (248) 548-6771 or e-
Yiddish-isms
mail: maynzalakuno.com
shviger
Mother-in-law
Candlelighting
Friday, Dec. 19, 4:43 p.m.
Friday, Dec. 26, 4:47 p.m.
Shabbat Ends
Shabbat Ends
Saturday, Dec. 20, 5:50 p.m.
12/19
2003
10
Candlelighting
Saturday, Dec. 27, 5:54 p.m.
Source: From The New Joys of Yiddish
by Leo Calvin Rosten, edited by
Lawrence Bush, copyright 2001, by
the Rosten Family LLC. Used by per-
mission of the Rosten Family LLC.