This Week
For Openers
What, Me Worry?
A
re you troubled by the steady
plunge of the stock market? Is
the threat of insurrections
throughout the world causing
you sleepless nights? Do you have trouble
concentrating on your work because of all
the scary events happening locally (crime,
fires, homicides)?
SY
Well, it's obvious then that your focus
MANELLO needs adjusting. You need to be more
Editorial
tuned in (literally) to reality. That is the
latest buzz word for television and, judging
Assistant-
by the increase in number of viewers, if
you are not involved in one or more of the
following, you are indeed worrying over trifles.
• Which survivor, celebrity or
otherwise, will make it? Being iso-
lated like that can prove to be a real
challenge, especially when you see
the cameramen and the staff enjoy-
ing real food (not grubs), changing
clothes and not having cameras
recording every REAL move.
• Which bachelor will be the
lucky one? And whoever thought
that "hot tub" would become a sexy
term?
• Which bachelorette will prevail?
Or to put it another way, how shal-
low can you be and still be thought
to be the girl of someone's . dreams?
• Is there a multi-millionaire out
there for you? Even a fake one? And
how many mindless people can you
lure into believing your fantasy?
• What disposable floor cleaner
1
4,',ifti!siVk 'cha
"mop" will replace the old-fashioned mop and bucket
wash? (So what if the refuse piles up; we can probably try
shipping it to Toronto as part of an exchange program.)
• Which new cereal craze will jump start your children's
blood sugar each morning? (Be sure to stock up since they
are all raising their prices and a bowl of cereal will soon
out-price a steak.)
• If you must focus on world events, try expressing some
consternation that neither Iraqi or Al Qaida uses a "u"
after the "q." Talk about consternation.
• Should you supersize your order of cholesterol-produc-
ing fat or just eat a regular order in a hurry and only irri-
tate your ulcer? Of course, you could eat outside and
smoke, too. That should soothe your worried mind.
The subject of worry reminds me of the anecdote of the
elderly woman attending a lecture
about astronomy. When the lec-
turer announced that his calcula-
tions revealed that in 1 billion
years the sun would die out, the
woman jumped up and asked,
"How long did you say?" "One
billion years," he replied. "Thank
goodness," she said. "I thought
you said 1 million."
So the next time your vending
machine foray yields nothing
more than a stuck purchase or the
next weather forecast reveals dire
storms in a remote part of the -
world, be concerned. These are
the things that subStantive worries
are made of; don't waste your time
on news of the day, which is
beyond our control. ❑
Don't Know
© 2003
T
he number 18 is well
known in the Jewish com-
munity. Two Hebrew let-
ters, which make up the
word chai (life), have a numerical
value of 18. Thus many charitable
gifts are made for $18 or multiples of
18. There are other significances of 18
in Judaism. Can you name them?
— Goldfein
-salnunu
81 Apo Ioj LfezlEtu 9upfeq !yeqqEms
aJojaci sammui 81 saipuED 9upti9ri
:Jankstry
:sJakeici !.9.151 qvuoutays
notables
"What's going to keep us going is
doing thingsthe way they were done
100 years ago. If we become homoge-
nized, we will disappear. So we try to
keep everything, even the pronuncia-
tion, which is close to what is believed
to be ancient Hebrew."
— Rabbi Yakqob Menashe, an Iraqi
emigre who runs Midrash Ben Ish Hai
in New York to keep Iraqi Jewish cul-
ture alive in America; quoted in
the November issue
of "Hadassah" magazine
Yiddish Limericks
No rational man can relate
To terrorists filled with such hate.
These aren't kloreh mentshen,*
So needless to mention,
Zay zayn meshugeh ahf tate.**
— Martha Jo Fleischmann
* sane people
** They are crazy to death.
Shabbat Candlelighting
"The lit Shabbat candles brighten my home and my world as I think of the gift of
Shabbat given to us by God."
-- Rabbi Herbert Yoskowitz, Adat Shalom Synagogue
Tiddish-isms
cholilleh
A common magical expression for "God
Sponsored by Lubavitch Women's Organization. To submit a candlelighting message or to receive
complimentary candlesticks and infinmation on Shabbat candlelighting, call Miriam Amzalak of Oak Park at (248) 548-6771
or e-mai• marnzalak@juno.com
12/ 5
2003
10
Candlelighting
Friday, Dec. 5, 4:42 p.m.
Candlelighting
Friday, Dec. 12, 4:41 p.m.
Shabbat Ends
Saturday, Dec. 6, 5:47 p.m.
Shabbat Ends
Saturday, Dec. 13, 5:48 p.m.
forbid that should happen," uttered
promptly before and after some dire pre-
diction, fear or possibility; a tongue-in-
cheek expression affecting dismay over a
possible and desired happenstance.
Source: From The New Joys of Yiddish by
Leo Calvin Rosten, edited by Lawrence
Bush, copyright 2001, by the Rosten
Family LLC. Used by permission of the
Rosten Family LLC.