LIFECYCLES

As Life Cycles, Perspective Becomes Sharper

Debra B. Darvick

A

n inveterate chronicler, I
kept a journal of my son's
first three years of life
detailing the milestones
that consume new mothers — first
smile, new teeth, stretches of sleep
longer than a nano-nap.
I poured out my frustrations, fears
and inadequacies I felt in this new
role of Mother. Tucked somewhere in
those lined pages was a plea for per-
spective, a cry for distance enough
from the parenting experience to
know I was doing a good job. Silly
me.
Nineteen years down the parent-
ing pike, I smile at those outlandish
pleas. How innocent to think that
distance and confidence could be
purchased with anything but years in
the trenches. I've come to realize
what I couldn't possibly fathom
then. Perspective is the gift of time's
passing — a solitary drip of days that
ultimately gather into a life-flood of
cherished memories, unavoidable
missteps and some bull's-eves, too.
Jewish milestones arc surely a
time for sharing joy, poignancy and
ultimately grief. Additionally, these
hallowed life-cycle moments —
birth, b'nai mitzvah, weddings and
funerals — are prime opportunities
for looking back and looking ahead.
They are crucial times for gaining
perspective.
\\Then a couple becomes
engaged, there may or may not he

much "back" to
look back upon.
NIostly, sights are
set towards the
future: creating a
home, juggling
careers, the prom-
ise of a family.
DEBRA DARVICK
A baby is born
and a couple
begins to contem-
plate their shared past. Reaching
back through the centuries, new
parents bind themselves to tradition
through the sacred duty of bris. The
birth of a daughter affords the oppor-
tunity of tapping into the more recent
tradition of simchat bat — a celebra-
tion for the birth of a daughter.
With these rituals, parents begin
to take stock of where they've been.
And, at the same time, cradling a
newborn is to hold the future, albeit
uncertain and even frightening, in
one's sleep-deprived arms. The
seeds for perspective have begun to
send their shoots deep and wide.

LIFECYCLES on page 52

Each week, the Jewish News
chronicles the life-cycle events of
our community — the births, the
b'nai mitzvah, the weddings, the
deaths. Each step along the path of
life gives added perspective. Taken
whole, as a group, they provide a
vivid snapshot of ourselves. Turn the
page, for a year of remembrances...

For complete listings go to www.detroitjewishnews.com/lifecycles

BIRTHS

Abrams, Emily Sarah 12/26/2002
Abramsky, Leo Henry 12/8/2002
Adamczyk, Max Evan 2/9/2003
Adelson, Shae Nevan 10/26/2002
Adler, Samson Eitan 1/15/2003
Aisner, Alexander Ze'ev 7/10/2002
Amzalak, Chaim 7/5/2002
Applebaum, Eliezer 6/18/2003
Avital, Ariel Sapir 7/28/2003
B'sheart, Anais Sophia Rosaura 6/23/2003
Baker, Robert Ross 5/21/2003
Bass, Max Gabriel 2/18/2003
Bauland, Talia Sage 8/16/2002
Bayer, Jaden Alex 8/24/2002
Becker, Eric Bradley 9/19/2002
Behrendt, Jack Adam and Noah John 4/7/2003
Belkin, Alyse Bridget 9/2/2002
Bell, Brooke Naomi 1/31/2003
Beltzman, Jaden Andrew 9/7/2002
Benchetrit, Elle Lauren and

Brandon Ethan 3/19/2003
Ben-Ezra, Reese Lenore 12/4/2002
Berg, Samantha Victoria 2/24/2003
Berkowitz, Ryan Jacob 12/24/2002
Berman, Taylor Paige 9/11/2002
Berris, Adriane Sophia 7/18/2002
Beyer, Ethan Richard and
Isabelle Helene 12/28/2002
Bienenfeld, Alexandra 9/17/2002
Bienenfeld, Samantha Rae 10/16/2002
Bienstock, Aaron Jacob 9/23/2002
Blackman, Mitchell Aaron 8/1/2002
Blau, Sydney Meredith 7/22/2002
Blau, Grant Andrew 2/18/2003
Bloch, Avdan William and
Jared Micah 9/2/2002
Block, Robert Dempsey 8/25/2002
Block, Noah Ryan 6/20/2003
Blum, Tessa Rose 7/2/2002
Bodnick, Mya Rose 11/28/2002
Bolton, Brooke Ashley 1/20/2003
Bordelove, Carli Jordyn 7/2/2002
Borschke, Aubrey Elizabeth 2/18/2003
Boyer, Alexandra Rose 4/3/2003
Bracey, Tyler Jacob 8/26/2002
Bradley, Brendan Tyler 4/4/2003
Bradly, Eric 10/6/2002
BIRTHS on page 52

SO RCE BOOK 2003-2004 •

5 1