For Openers
Can't Live Without
here is a big difference between
some of "my favorite things"
and things "I can't live with-
out." Yet, judging from cata-
logues that constantly flood the mailbox, it
is hard to understand the need that exists
or that we are told exists.
It is not just the cost that I am objecting
SY
to; some are not priced all that extraordi-
MANELLO narily. It's that I can't see why we are made
to feel the quality of life will be enhanced
Editorial
by these "inventions" or lessened without
Assistant
them.
• A wireless remote electronic locator.
This item has four beeper discs to attach to keys, glasses,
cell phone, TV remote or other "elusive" objects. Press a
button and the corresponding disc beeps loudly (up to 30
feet). When reading this, I am reminded of my mother's sage
advice: "Ifyou put things away, you'll know where they are."
It also calls to mind the busy executive who, when searching
for a pencil, was told by his secretary that it was behind is ear.
"Which ear?" he asked. "Thrz a busy man.
• A splashproof stereo CD player.
This has AM/FM digital tuning for
every room in the house, including the
shower. It also has an alarm clock and
wireless 12-function remote control.
Whatever happened to singing in the
shower or washing up and getting out?
Are you aware that water rates are
increasing?
• A good companion piece for the
above is the radio-controlled shower
clock.
It is 10 inches and easy to read "even
under a stream of water." Just how long
do you spend there that keeping you on
schedule must come to this?
• A vibrating credit card minder.
This holds five cards which have
electronic contacts kept apart when the
wallet is closed. If closed without a card
in place, the wallet vibrates. This cheap
thrill costs a pretty penny; imagine what a good massage you
could get if your minder, your beeper and cell phone all went
, at the same time!
off
• An eye-trek virtual monitor.
This is touted as "like watching a 62-inch flat panel,
wide screen monitor from 6 1 /, feet away." It plugs into the
TV, VCR or DVD, and earphones give 3D sound. We used
to avoid talking by watching TV with someone; now we are
encouraged to completely isolate ourselves.
• For several thousand dollars, you can have an action
figure doll of yourself.
You send in measurements, enhancing them any way
you feel, and, coupled with a photo, the company will
produce a moveable action figure doll of you as a super-
person. They actually send two; one is to be kept packaged
and in pristine condition as a collectible; the other may be
played with. This is an obvious toy for someone who has a lot
of money, but needs a life.
• In case you or your mate was concerned that you have
stopped getting jewelry because you have no more storage
space, there is a jewelry armoire.
It stands 47 inches high and is made of burl -wood. Well,
at least the thieves won't have to ransack
the house looking for the hidden safe.
• The desire for the remote-con-
trolled model plane is taking a back seat
to the radio-controlled Harley-
Davidson replica.
It runs for 20 minutes on a recharge-
able battery; the remote uses three
small batteries and the headlight, horn
and directional signals all work.
Remember the definition of success
that involved the one who dies with
the most toys? Hmmm.
All of these remind me of a book
we recently purchased for one of our
grandchildren. It was called I
Waaaaaant It. The moral was to teach
children that they don't always need
what they think they want during a trip
to the store. Now, I'm not sure that the
book is for children. ❑
Shabbat Candlelighting
tgr:r-t'cha
Don't Know
© 2003
N
early 2,000 people work
directly for President
George W. Bush in the
White House and the
nearby Eisenhower Executive Office
Building. How many people work for
Israel's President Moshe Katsav?
— Goldfein
-aidoad oc Apo sAoidula
scn-eslEN luamsaid IETUOILIQ
Ap2JEI sr alo.T s!q aST1EDQq :Jankstry
ODTJJO
Quotables
"For us, outreach means a far different
thing than it does in the Silicon Valley
area. In a solid Midwest community,
you have great values and traditions
that are attractive to young families.
We have to make sure we showcase
those things we have to offer here —
like a connected, supportive Jewish
community."
— Jan Goldstein
executive director, Jewish Federation of
Omaha, in the July 4 article "Lonesome
Prairie: Midwest Young Head For
Coasts," quoted in the Forward.
Yiddish Limericks
A marathon runner can't fake it,
And only the fittest can take it;
So I'm in a pickle.
That's some hipshe shtickle.*
I'm too ohsgematert** to make it.
— Martha Jo Fleischmann
"When I light Shabbat candles, I have an opportunity to pray for the
health and welfare of my family and for peace worldwide.
* (literal) considerable piece
(idiomatic) long distance
** exhausted
"
— Sarah Kornblum, parent, Southfield
Yiddish-isms
zets
Sponsored by Lubavitch
Women's Organization.
To submit a candlelighting
message or to receive
complimentary candlesticks
and information on Shabbat
candlelighting, call Miriam
Amzalak of Oak Park at
(248) 967-5056 or e-mail:
inamzalak@juno.com
8/1
2003
10
A strong blow or punch.
Candlelighting
Friday, Aug. 1, 8:34 p.m.
Candlelighting
Friday, Aug. 8, 8:26 p.m.
Shabbat Ends
Shabbat Ends
Saturday, Aug. 2, 9:41 p.m.
Saturday, Aug. 9, 9:31 p.m.
Source: From The New joys of Yiddish
by Leo Calvin Rosten, edited by
Lawrence Bush, copyright 2001, by
the Rosten Family LLC. Used by per-
mission of the Rosten Family LLC.