A few minutes later, the phone
"What could have been a very
rang and Linda heard the unbe-
solemn occasion became a 'happen-
lievable words, "This is your sis-
ing' as Pam met even more family
ter."
members," Linda said. "Lunch back
"Once I talked to Pam, I felt
at my house was a continuation of
major excitement," said Linda. "I
mingling and getting to know one
knew this was no hoax. Pam said
another better."
things that just fit in. When she e-
Linda estimates that her new half-
mailed me a photo of herself, I
sister met at least 50 new friends and
nearly fell off my chair. She looked relatives. She has since established a
so much like [my sister] Susan and
group e-mail system so that the
my mother."
newly united family can continue to
Said Pam: "I always felt that I
communicate on a regular basis.
had a sister out there somewhere.
"When Pam first walked through
To find out I have three is truly
my door, it seemed like I knew her
amazing."
forever," Linda said. "When she left
Linda contacted her other two
for the airport on Sunday, it was dif-
sisters, and the four of them began
ficult to see her go."
e-mailing and talking by telephone
Said Pam, "Probably what amazed
on a daily basis.
me most about the weekend was the
Unfortunately, Pam discovered
feeling that I had known this family
her new family six months too late
all my life. It just felt natural to be
to meet her mother, who died the
together. For me, it was a dream
day after the birth of her first
come true."
grandson, Felix, son of the Lees'
Said Linda, "I am confident that
The reunited sisters: Pam Miller of Hartsdale, NY; Susan Hertzberg of San Jose, Ca.;
daughter, Sheri, and her husband
my mother knows what's going on. I
Linda Lee of West Bloomfield; and Bonnie Marash of Vonore, Tenn.
Dennis Brodsky.
would not call this a 'happy ending,'
When the sisters invited Pam to
but a 'wonderful beginning.'"
attend the unveiling ceremony for
who now lives in Marlboro, N.J.,
generations to find the pedigrees of
their mother, she readily
and Larry, 38, a resident of
my dogs, but I couldn't find my own
accepted and traveled to
Niskayuna, N.Y.
roots."
Detroit with her husband and
In her early 40s, Pam decided to
their two sons for the reunion
doption information laws vary from
search for her birth parents,
of a lifetime.
Making Contact
state to state and according to
although she had been told about
when and how the adoption took
her adoption at age 16.
Pam Miller credits her eventual suc-
place.
Reunited At Last
"People asked me why," she said.
cess to perseverance, computer tech-
For adoptees and birth families searching
"They wanted to know whether or
nology and the resourcefulness of her The newly acquainted family
for
their roots, Pam Miller's son, Eric
not I had a good childhood. Well, I
son, Eric, an investigator for the
spent hours talking, catching
Miller
of New York, advises people to
did; I had a lovely childhood, but I
New York Stock Exchange. By
up on each other's lives and
"keep an open mind and be persistent and
still wanted to know. I wanted to
accessing handwritten U.S. Census
going through album after
positive. Be creative in your search, and
know why I had curly hair and green
records, made public after 70 years,
album of family pictures.
realize that public records may not always
eyes. By then I had two children of
the Millers found a woman with the
Unaware of the importance
be
accurate. Don't give up."
my own. I wanted to know why they last name of Rosenfeld who had
it would have, Linda and
Following
are some resources for people
looked and acted the way they did."
traveled to New York from Poland
Sheri had made a video docu-
searching
for
birth parents or children who
Pam started by querying the Wise
with two children, a girl and a boy,
mentary about Harriet
have
been
adopted:
adoption agency, only to be met
Harriet and her brother, Martin. A
Marash nine months before
• vwww.almasociety.com ALMA
with frustration. According to New
computer search located a Martin
her death.
(Adoptees' Liberty Movement
York law, the agency could only
Rosenfeld in Farmington Hills.
The Saturday night before
Association), a national nonprofit organi-
release non-identifying information,
Pam's husband, Irwin Miller, made
the unveiling, a group of
zation with its own registry and other
such as the city in which her birth
the initial call to Rosenfeld, warning
extended family members,
information.
mother lived, her age and the height
Pam not to get her hopes up in case
including Martin Rosenfeld
• www.Michigan.Adoption.com A Web
of the father. She hired private detec- this was another dead end.
and the Lee's son Andy, who
site with links to information about reg-
tives to no avail.
"I identified myself to Martin, and
lives in Bloomfield Hills,
istries, adoption laws, support groups and
She eventually found out the last
assured him that I wasn't selling any-
gathered at the Lee home to
other resources.
name of her birth mother but not
thing," he said. "I asked him if he
watch the video.
• vvww.parentsoup.com Keyword:
her first name, and anticipation
knew that his sister had a daughter
"No one had seen it before,
Adoption
turned to disappointment as she dis-
she had given up for adoption.
and the response was pretty
• Central Adoption Registry, Michigan
covered there were literally thou-
When he said, 'Yes', I said, 'Well, I
amazing," Linda said. "Pam
Department
of Social Services, Central
sands of Rosenfelds in the New York
married her.' He started crying and
and her family were able to
Adoption Registry, PO Box 30037,
phone directories.
so did I. I called Pam back and told
get a feel for my mother's
Lansing, MI 48909. ❑
"There were 17 Rabbi Rosenfelds
her we had found her birth family
personality as she came to life
Ronelle Grier
in Brooklyn alone," said Pam, who
and that she has three sisters."
on the screen."
breeds and shows a class of dogs
Pam immediately called Rosenfeld,
The weekend continued
called Whippets. "It was very frus-
who gave her Linda Lee's phone
with lunch and open house at
trating to know that you're not
number. He then called his niece
the Lees' house following the
allowed to know. I can go back 10
and told her to expect a phone call.
unveiling.
❑
Finding Family
A
7/11
2003
29