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This is not the way a family is sup- posed to behave with each other, partic- ularly not a family formed by the brit kodesh, the "holy covenant" sealed with the Revelation at Sinai. 0 ur Torah portion for this It would appear that God and Moses week is embarrassing to read. and the Israelites are not quite sure of The Israelites are griping how dependable and trustworthy are the and complaining (Numbers other two! 11:1-23), which gets God really angry, So one complains. The while Moses whines, "Hey, other is frustrated and angry, what about me!?" and the third shouts, "Well! We have no sympathy what- What about me?!" soever for the Israelites; we are It sounds like most families. surprised at God's impatience And in its resemblance to the and sudden frustration, and we reality of our lives lies a great wonder if Moses is acting out truth. for attention. This is a story about us, all We ask ourselves, "Doesn't of us who come together in anyone in the story trust any- families and in friendships RABBI JOSEPH and in communities. We body else?" KLEIN The people complain: think that it will be relatively Special to the "Why do we have to suffer so easy to be wonderful with Jewish News in the desert? Who will take each other, but it is hard to care of us, and get us food and give up "self" in order to be water? Where is God now? What has something bigger than self God done for us lately!?" God gets so Family and community relationships hot that the camp was torched with are necessarily frustrating — not all the divine fire. time, but often enough. The trick is to We understand God's impatience and learn from the conflicts and grow frustration. After all God did for them beyond them. — getting them out of Egypt, providing Our Torah portion comes serendipi- manna for them to eat, giving them fresh tously during the traditional wedding water, bringing them to Sinai — how do season, and so speaks to our newly mar- they have the nerve to complain now? ried couples: If the divinely sanctioned But if God cannot be patient, under- and sealed desert "marriage" of God and standing and forgiving of our faults, then Israel was rocky at times, how much who is? So Moses prayed; the fire was more so are our marriages between mere extinguished and Moses "brings God to men and women? God's senses," demonstrating an However, if this covenant between admirable quality of take-charge leader- God and Israel is still strong and healthy ship. and filled with expectation after 3,500 But of course, it's all to no avail; for in years, there is every reason to think that the very next verse, we see that the our wedding covenants will also last, if Israelites are back at it! Now they com- only we work at making them work! plain that all they have is this manna- Our Torah portion has a message stuff. about marriage: When one spouse com- And Moses, seeing the kvetching plains and the other becomes frustrated (complaining) of the people and God's and angry and neither thinks he is being angry response, throws up his own treated fairly, remember that it has hap- hands to God, shouting: 'And what pened before and will certainly again. about me!? How about giving me a little This argument in the desert is not the attention? Why am I the only one who end of the covenant, but part of the has to put up with the burden of this process by which it becomes stronger. people? If this is the way it's going to be, The brit kodesh of kiddushinlmarriage is just kill me now and be done with it!" strengthened by working through its dif- How embarrassing for us to see God ficulties and conflicts. and Moses and the Israelites treating The promise at Sinai that together each other this way. Everybody schries God and Israel will change the world gevalt (cries help) that life's unfair. No and make it better for all of humanity is also the promise of marriage. May our new families change our Joseph Klein is rabbi of Temple world and bring blessing to our people Emanu-El. His e-mail address is and to humanity. rabbi@rabbiklein.com Shabbat Behalotecha: Numbers 8: 1-12: 16; Zechariah 2:14-4:7.