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Traditionally, men have been pegged as the philandering sex — women being regarded as less promiscuous by nature or, their lives tethered to hus- band and family, more vulnerable to exposure, or both. But recent research heralds a sexual sea change: Women under 40 are now just as likely to cheat as their male counter- parts. The reason, believes Baltimore psychologist Shirley Glass, Ph.D., is that society now encourages women and men to become friends, especially at work. The scenario of the fat-cat boss leering at his secretary has been replaced. Now, male and female colleagues work as equals — and all Peorrct )(',:;'ii R too often fall in love as FROM , TY AND equals. OE BET.It:i.Y.ki HEAL nrr. An authority in the infi- delity field since the early 1980s, Glass has just come out with her first book, Not `just and emotional — is much more Friends": Protect Your Relationship From destructive to marriage than the old- Infidelity and Heal the Trauma of style fling. Betrayal (Free Press; $25). Hooper: Susan, you interviewed hun- Whereas danger leaps from every dreds of cheating women. Is there page of her book, New York City something special about the work- author, professor and lecturer Susan place? Shapiro Barash takes a different tack Barash: No, women will meet some- in her recent A Passion For More: Wives one at the airport, day care, on a train. Reveal the Affairs That Make or Break Women just get around, and they're Their Marriages (Berkeley Hills Books; clever at arranging an affair, if so $12.95). inclined. Good at covering up, keep- While Barash isn't pro-affair, exactly, ing secrets. she lauds women for having the courage, and the economic wherewith- Glass: In therapy, women are exceed- ingly reluctant to talk about affairs. al, to search for love — or even just For them, the affair has such a roman- great sex — in all the "wrong" places. tic aura — they put it in a bubble. Recently, over lunch at a midtown Barash: When I was researching my Manhattan restaurant, Glass and book, some women protested that Barash compared notes. A PASSION F R. M 0 RI Chinese Carry-Out Restaurant Mon-Thurs, I 1:00 am - 9:30 pm Fri, 1 1:00 am - 10:00 pm Sat 12:00 pm - 10:00 pm Sun 12:00 pm - 9:30 pm Featurewell. corn Hooper: If I'm reading you right, Shirley, these increasingly common office affairs have turned the tables on traditional gen- der stereotypes — that men are more interested in sex for its own sake and women are only looking for love. Glass: Right. In the past, women would have "emotional affairs" but not intercourse, because there was too great a price — the "double standard" and all that. But now they've had more premarital sex, so they're less inhibited, and they've got economic independence and the autonomy that goes with it. And men aren't looking for sex on the side because they feel entitled; they're first forming deep emotional attachments at work that then lead to sex. And this kind of affair — sexual