Ituthie and Connie'
uthie Berman and Connie
"You have two Jewish women who
Kurtz, two Jewish grandmoth-
came of age in the `50s and did all the
ers from Brooklyn, N.Y., have
things that good Jewish girls were
been friends for more than 40 years.
expected to do in that era," Dickson
We brought up our children togeth-
explained.
er, we shared babysitting and spent
"They got married, had families.
holidays together," Berman recalled.
Then the unthinkable happened. They
Twenty-seven years ago, their rela-
realized they were in love. It was like
tionship changed.
setting off a bomb."
We were married women who fell
With Kurtz's encouragement,
in love with each other," she said.
Berman eventually came out —"It was
Their story is told in Ruthie and
the right thing to do," she said, and
Connie: Every Room in the . House,
the two became activists, working to
which will be screened 8 p.m. Tuesday, gain acceptance for their union and
April 29, in Commerce Township,
that of other gay and le s bian couples.
where Berman and Kurtz are sched-
A retired guidance counselor in the
uled to appear.
New York City school system, Berman
The idea to make a film about
sued the school system in 1988 to
Berman and Kurtz was sparked five
force them to cover Kurtz on her med-
years ago when film
producer Donald
vkr4i
Goldmacher, who grew
up across the street
from Berman in
Brooklyn, asked to
make a film about the
couple.
Director Deborah
Dickson, who has
made more than 20
films — three nomi-
nated for Academy
Awards — came on
board a year later to
direct.
The 55-minute film
was cut down from 50
"Ruthie and Connie"• Bubbies in love.
hours of footage cover-
ing Berman and Kurtz
in their everyday - lives,
dealing with friends and families, and
ical and dental insurance plan. In
trying to gain acceptance.
1992, they won.
"Ruthie and Connie are warm and
Despite that victory, Berman said,
funny human beings. It was like get-
they have a long way to go.
ting two Jewish mothers in one fell
We still do not have our civil
swoop," Dickson laughed.
rights. We don't have the full rights
"They were everything a filmmaker
others do. Our relationships can
could dream of for characters in cinema become unseen, and treated without
verite: funny, accessible and open. They dignity," she explained.
are two engaging, wonderful human
"Throughout the making of the
beings. You can't help but love them."
film, there was one particular goal,"
But besides showcasing the warmth
added Kurtz, now a New York artist
and humor of the two women, the
known for her collages.
film also talks seriously about how
"As a community of humans, from
their relationship affected their fami-
all backgrounds, we have to make
lies, which between the two includes
changes, change attitudes and hopeful-
five children and 17 grandchildren.
ly influence others. 'Never again'
"We both got divorced. That was
means never again to anyone, not just
pain," Berman said.
one segment of the population.
For some time during the mid-'70s
"We can't continue with sexism,
when the couple moved in together,
ageism or racism. I don't want to use the
Berman remained in the closet.
word homophobia, because it is all hate."
"It was a very difficult time in my
— Stacey Dresner,
life," she recalled.
Connecticut Jewish Ledger
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