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April 04, 2003 - Image 9

Resource type:
The Detroit Jewish News, 2003-04-04

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

For Openers

Who Or What's Hot?


h, the weather outside is
frightful" or would you pre-
fer, "We're having a heat
wave"? Well, whether it's
cold or whether it's hot, we'll have
weather, whether or not. The problem
then is to keep warm or keep cool.
When it comes to temperature, it
impossible to please all the
even some of the time. We
much in our comfort
no matter the out-
side climate or the inside
temperature, someone is
going to be uncomfortable.
In our office, there used to be two
thermostats to control a huge space;
and, if they were working, which we
had serious doubts about, they were
responsible for some serious dialing
down and up to try to find a corn-
fort zone for over 50 people.
When our office space was warm
(because of the five people,
numerous machines and low
recessed lights), we turned the
thermostat down. However, this
controlled the offices at the other
end of the building and the workers
came in with icicle fingers to dial up.
When the sun came in to bake those on the west
side, they turned their dial down; but then those who
share the mechanism were cold (on the east side of
the office without windows). Dueling banjos had
nothing on us!
I recall years ago when electric blankets were the
rage. We bought one and thought that it would end
the perpetual sleep struggle between me (warm at


night) and my wife (cold at night). Go figure that the
controls got reversed and when I was warm and
dialed down, I was really turning off the heat on my
wife's side. When she felt cold, she dialed up, increas-
ing the heat on my side. It took us a while to figure
this out. By the time we did, there were scare stories
about such blankets causing fires and so we
got rid of it altogether.
Fireplaces are great for setting a
mood in the winter or giving you
something to watch if your TV
is on the blink (the remark of
someone who is really out of
touch with books). They do not
usually give much heat. In fact, if
the flue is open, a lot of the heat
from the house is drawn up the
We tried to find a "damper stop" so
that we could keep the flue open only
partially and thereby give some heat to
the room. We were told that if it wasn't
installed by the manufacturer, we were out of
On the other side of the heat scale, we have
some friends who fight over the air conditioning.
She likes it cool, nay, cold. He does not. It is no
wonder he was surprised when I told him that I put
my sweaters away in the warm weather; he's never had
that privilege.
Here's story to illustrate the ever-present problem.
On the ark, a hole was discovered. Noah sent a dog
over to keep its nose in the hole. When the hole got
bigger, Noah sent his wife to stand over the hole.
When it got even bigger, he sat on the hole until the
ark landed. That is why, to this day, a dog has a cold
nose, a woman has cold feet and man usually stands
with his back to the fire. ❑

Don't Know

© 2003


atzah and matzah meal
have the largest sales
before and during the
Passover holiday. Which
item comes in next, but its sales fall off
after the first seder? (Hint: Look at your
grocer's Passover food aisle.)
— Goldfein




"We're not coming for a week; we're
not coming for a mission; we're coming
to move our families."
— Rabbi Yehoshua Fass, a recent oleh
(immigrant to Israel), as quoted in the
story "The New Olim" in the spring issue
offewish Action of the Orthodox Union.

"When it comes to Jewish living, many
Jews are intimidated. Our challenge is
to create an image that is less intimidat-
ing. Unless one begins to observe
Shabbat, one will never observe the
entirety of Shabbat. Unless one takes
some initial steps in becoming kosher,
one will never adopt the full spectrum
of laws regarding kashrut. And so it is
with other mitzvot."
— Rabbi Jerome Epstein, executive vice
president of the United Synagogue of
Conservative Judaism, in the spring issue
of United Synagogue Review.

Yiddish Limericks

Shabbat Candlelighting

A citizen said, "Pass the Bayer!
I can't take much more of this mayor.
He speaks without stoppin'
I say, Zol im klopn
In kop vee es hokt meer in ayerr*

"I feel the Shabbat candles are a symbol of hope. They make me
think and be absorbed in thought. They make me feel peaceful

— Lisa Kottler, 11, West Bloomfield

Sponsored by Lubavitch
Women's Organization.
To submit a candlelighting
message or to receive
complimentary candlesticks
and information on Shabbat
candlelighting„ call Miriam
knzalak of Oak Park at
(248) 967-5056 or e-mail:


Martha Jo Fleischmann

* (idiomatic curse) His head should
ache as much as my ear does!






Friday, April 4: 6:43 p.m.

Friday, April 11: 7:51 p.m.

Shabbat Ends

Shabbat Ends

Saturday, April 5: 7:47 p.m.

Saturday, April 12: 8:56 p.m.

A mythical, remote town; "way out in
the sticks;" "God only knows where."

Source: From The New Joys of Yiddish by
Leo Calvin Rosten, edited by Lawrence
Bush, copyright 2001, by the Rosten
Family LLC. Used by permission of the
Rosten Family LLC.

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