The Story Of A Pearl How one little girl and her family are helping others with cerebral palsy. Norma Dorman of West Bloomfield shares smiles with her youngest children, Hershel and Peal-4 both 5. ELIZABETH APPLEBAUM AppleTree Editor D r. Michael and. Norma Dorman of West Bloomfield have a little girl who in every way lives up to her name. She is bright and shining and soft and pure and rare — a Pearl. That Pearl also has a mild case of cerebral palsy (CP) makes no difference at all: Like every other child, she goes to school, has family responsibilities and isn't allowed to use her handicap to get away with anything. It also makes every difference in the world. Not only is Pearl's mother passionate when it comes to securing the best possible services for her daughter, she is deter- mined to help other parents who have children with CP do the same. At 8 p.m. Saturday, March 15, Congregation Beth Ahm will honor the Dorman family with a dinner, with funds benefiting the synagogue and the Children's Hospital of Michigan's Motion Analysis Lab. The event will be held at the synagogue in West Bloomfield. In The Beginning Norma Dorman knew early on that Pearl, who is now 5, was different from other children. Her physicians insisted otherwise, but Dorman saw the way Pearl had a difficult time sitting up by herself, long past the time it should have been a natural skill. "Something wasn't 100 percent," she says, "but I couldn't put my finger on it." Instead of ignoring her concerns, Dorman rolled up her sleeves and got to work. "Parents need to understand that if something does- n't seem right to them, they need to pursue it — regardless of what other people tell you," she says. One of the Dormans' first stops was the Michigan Institute for Neurological Disorders, where physicians agreed that Pearl had physical challenges. Initially, some believed it was a case of gross-motor delay; final- ly, CP was diagnosed. 3/ 7 2003 92 The Dormans were heartbroken, but they had no interest in sitting around feeling sorry for themselves or letting Pearl sit around doing nothing. So they contact- ed every organization, listened to everyone who had • advice. It was never too much for Norma Dorman. In fact, she tells parents of children with CP, "No advice is wrong advice. Listen to everyone and check everything out. I went everywhere, to all the hospitals. Wherever we were told to go, we followed through, and all have helped us get where we are today." "My mother always taught me not to put all my eggs in one basket," Dorman says of her all-encompassing approach. "Besides, Pearl can only benefit from every- thing." "In fact, if we didn't have friends, family and com- munity rooting for us, I don't think I could do this," Dorman adds. "There was always somebody saying, `.You can get through .it,' and everyone who helped has become an integral part of us." Support Groups The Dormans listened to — and befriended — their daughter's physicians, workers at the Abilities Center, staff at the West Bloomfield Early Intervention Program, teachers at Ealy Elementary and Adat Shalom Nursery (Pearl's first schools), the family den- tist Dr. Avery Murav, everyone at the Friendship Circle (which pairs physically and mentally challenged Jewish children with friends to help out) and neighbors, acquaintances, friends. Norma Dorman can't say enough about Hillel Day School of Metropolitan Detroit, which all four of her children (Pearl's twin, Hershel, along with older sisters Hillary and Tedi) attend and where Pearl is a kinder- garten student. Pearl has no limits. She has a walker, but rarely uses it. "She's running and swimming, too," Dorman says. 'And Pearl has a smile that's contagious." It isn't all sweetness, though, that h where she is today. "She is as stubborn and as inde- pendent as they come," Dorman says. "Once a boy came up to her and said, 'You're handicapped.' Pearl told him, 'No, I am not." • Among those who have come to know and love the five-year-old is Marilyn Rice, a neighbor. "Pearl is an incredibly special child," Rice says. "Many days, I would watch her from. my window as she played with her siblings. Pearl tries to do every- thing they_do. When they are playing on the driveway, Pearl plays with the group. Many times, she forgets herself and her walker starts to pull her down the driveway. She takes a physical and mental stance and pulls it back up, pleased with herself" Of course, there have been painful times. "I have said, 'Why me? Why her?"' Dorman says. Then she moves on. Spirit of Tzedakah Having a child with CP has sensitized Norma Dorman to the needs of other, less fortunate families. "We have the financial resources to help Pearl," she says. "We also have a community to help us get what we need. Not everyone does." In this spirit, the dinner in the Dormans' honor will raise funds for a high-tech computer that can radically improve the lives of children with CR In the motion analysis laboratory, such computers are used to measure the abilities (and disabilities) of children with CP. The information generated helps physicians and therapists pinpoint a child's specific needs: whether surgery is required, what kinds of shoes or braces might best help, the most beneficial kinds of therapy. The Dormans' friend Marilyn Rice, who is helping organize the dinner, can't imagine a better way to honor Pearl. "We have the power to make a child's day a little easier, a little less painful, and a lot more peace- ful," she says. "Together, we can help a mother achieve her goal: to see her child walk, if only for a few steps." For information on the Beth Ahm dinner honoring Alimans, call the synagogue at (248) 851-6880. ❑