OTHER VIEWS

My December Dilemma

he so-called December
Dilemma had nothing to do
with me and my family until
a certain December in a cer-
tain year when we found ourselves in
the small town called Wheeling,
W.Va., which was very different from
all the places we lived before.
Till then, the holidays were no more
than a spectator's sport of sorts. To be
sure, it was quite enjoyable to see the
streets with their festive decorations,
the store windows with their spectacu-
lar displays and to hear the beautiful
music that filled the air. I also have to
admit that it felt quite good to witness
all the hustle and bustle of the endless
shopping around me while I could just
enjoy everything without the pressure.
In Hebrew, we have a saying that
expresses it well: leihanot min hahefker,
which means, "to benefit from sorrie-
thing which is there for the taking."
Now it was altogether different.
There were no Hebrew day schools in
West Virginia for the children to
attend, where Christmas would be all
but non-existent, and not much of a
Jewish support system to shield us.
The December Dilemma hit me in the
face totally unexpectedly.

T

Rachel Kapen if a West Bloomfield resident.

When my then third-grader, Avi,
came home from school to tell me that
he was going to participate, together
with his classmates, in a pre-holiday
caroling — in the German language
no less — and, as icing on the cake,
that our own very Jewish home was
chosen to be one of the lucky homes in
front of which the young carolers
would stop, my initial reaction was one
of great discomfort if not sheer panic.
The mere idea of my son actively par-
ticipating in a Christian tradition was
entirely new and foreign to me.
I similarly reacted when my older
son, Udi, not quite one year after cele-
brating his bar mitzvah together with
his absent "twin" from the Soviet
Union in the Congregation L', Shem
Shomayim-Temple Shalom, the small
150-year-old synagogue, came home
from his all-boys' high school to
announce that he was chosen to read
in French from the New Testament
the story of Jesus in the school's annu-
al Christmas concert.
My dilemma was very real. Should I-
assert my clearly Jewish identity and
ask the schools to please excuse my
sons from partaking in practices that
are not their own traditions?
My husband, Shelly, already had left
for Detroit to assume his new job at

the Veterans Administration
Medical Center, thus leaving
the final decision to me. He
who makes life and death
decisions every day has a very
hard time when it comes to
family decisions.

did so out of respect and
friendship to his teacher and
classmates, for which he was
rewarded in kind.
And to further enhance my
conviction of the wisdom of my
decision, there soon followed
the high-school Christmas con-
A Mother's Choice
RAC HEL
cert to which our esteemed
KA PEN
I was debating with myself and
Rabbi Daniel Lowy accepted
Com munity
this was, no doubt, one of the
my invitation and kindly escort-
liz 'ews
most difficult inner struggles. I
ed me. In the midst of all the
had to face in my life. I finally
traditional Christmas holiday
decided to let nature take its course,
music, the story of Chanukah was told
come what may. It turned out to be a
with words and music.
good decision, the best I could have
"This is for me," I found myself
made under the circumstances.
whispering to my neighbor, and I was
I first realized it when together with
overcome by emotion. For here, too,
a handful of neighbors, all non-Jews,
Udi indeed did read from the New
we listened to the young carolers who
Testament. But he did it not as a
were so cute and bundled up in the
Christian believer, but rather as a com-
chilly Wheeling evening.
mitted Jew helping his teachers and
Acting upon instructions by their
fellow students celebrate their venerat-
teacher, they somewhat deviated from
ed holiday and for which he, too, was
the usual and added the words ... "and
respectfully rewarded.
a Happy Chanukah, too." They sang
As strange as this may seem, by let-
in deference of the Chanukah meno-
ting the children participate in that
rah proudly displayed on our win-
year's Christmas celebration — an expe-
dowsill; this small gesture of friend-
rience that never happened again — our
ship and goodwill sent a surge of
Jewish identity not only wasn't compro-
warmth throughout my entire being.
mised, but perhaps was even enhanced,
Avi indeed was participating in a
to say nothing of all the good will that
tradition not his own, but he clearly
otherwise wouldn't have happened. ❑

How Arab Rejection Destroyed The U.N.

Ramat Gan, Israel
he United Nations was and
remains a wonderful idea.
What could be better than
representatives of the
nations of the world sitting down
together as equals in order to prevent
war and forge a culture of peace?
The reality, however, is quite differ-
ent, and the U.N. is a very flawed and
even counterproductive institution.
Instead of promoting peace, many
regimes — including Syria's, which
was recently elected to the Security
Council — seek war and defend the
use of violence and even terrorism.
The U.N.'s mo'al authority has •
never been solid, and recent years
have seen a steady and perhaps termi-
nal decline.

T

Gerald M. Steinberg, a professor, is

director of the Program on Conflict
ManageMent and Negotiation in the
political studies department at Bar-Ilan
University in Israel. E-mail:
gerald@vms.huji.ac:il

12/13
2002

32

Many of the U.N.'s failures are high-
lighted in its action, or _inaction, in the
Middle East. The U.N. has passed
dozens of resolutions and presented
scores of unfulfilled peace plans, while
adopting a strong pro-Palestinian ide-
ology. The Durban conference of
September 2001 marked a new low
point in the demonization of Israel.
The U.N.'s efforts in Arab-Israeli
peacemaking began on Nov. 29, 1947,
with General Assembly Resolution
181, also known as the Partition Plan
(or "mother of all U.N. resolutions on
the Middle East"). After careful study,
the assembly overwhelmingly adopted
the recommendation to divide this
tiny land, claimed by Jews and Arabs
(the term "Palestinian" was not intro-
duced until the mid-1960s, and
gained currency in the decade follow-
ing the 1967 Six-Day War).
On this basis, two independent states
were to be created, while the sacred city
of Jerusalem would be placed under
some form of international control.
The Jewish Agency leadership,

under David Ben-Gurion
Egypt, in 1979, and Jordan,
(later, Israel's first prime minis-
in 1994, reversed course, and
ter), agreed to accept a small
belatedly accepted the legiti-
portion of the land, allowing
macy of Israel, although
the restoration of Jewish sover-
Egypt's commitment remains
eignty. In contrast, the repre-
half-hearted, at best.
sentatives of the various Arab
As this history makes dear,
delegations unanimously
the fundamental structural
rejected the concept, and their
GERALD M. problem of the U.N. from the
war began immediately.
STEINBERG beginning was its inability to
Brutal terror attacks were
gain adherence to its resolutions
Special
carried out on major Jewish
Commentary and charter. In the case of U.N.
institutions in Jerusalem, Jews
Resolution 181, and the Arab
were attacked in the streets and
war against Israel that began in
in restaurants, cars were ambushed and
its wake, there were no penalties for defi-
the occupants were killed on the roads
ance and violations of the core principles
and in the convoy to Hadassah
for maintaining international peace.
Hospital. A few months later, when
Aggressors were and are not punished,
the British formally withdrew, the
unless they are particularly weak politi-
armies of Egypt, Jordan, Syria and Iraq
cally and are easy prey for the automatic
launched full-scale attacks.
Arab-Islamic majority in the U.N.
After being defeated in this first round
(the Israeli War of Independence), the
Arab Violations
Arabs would only sign a limited truce
Since these events, the Arab states have
(again in defiance of the U.N. and the
been in blatant violation of the U.N.
cease-fire documents that explicitly
•
charter and international law. Only
STEINBERG on page 34