The Glow
Of Chanukah . .
. 54
Synagogue Listings . . 55
Torah Portion
57
Becoming a bar mitzvah as
an adult, Harold Folkoff is
Rabbi David
Nelson and
Cantor Samuel
Greenbaum
stand with
Harold Folkoff
while he prac-
tices his Torah
reading.
SHELLI LIEBMAN DORFMAN
Staff Writer
W
hen my mother died two
years ago, I promised
myself two things,"
remembers 50-year-old
Harold Folkoff of Oak Park.
"I would learn to say Kaddish
(memorial prayer) for her and I would
celebrate my bar mitzvah — for me, "
says Folkoff, a client of the
Farmington Hills-based JARC organi-
zation. JARC provides group homes
and independent living services, case
management and skill training for
adults with developmental disabilities.
Last December, after five months of
practice, Folkoff came to
Congregation Beth Shalom able to
recite the Kaddish. He finally felt
ready to speak with synagogue clergy
about becoming a bar mitzvah.
"I learned the Kaddish with the
12/6
2002
52
motivated and motivating.
help of a friend," Folkoff says. "Then
someone I know made me an appoint-
ment with Rabbi [David] Nelson and
Cantor [Samuel] Greenbaum to study
for my bar mitzvah. The rabbi helped
me with the prayers and the cantor
taught me to read the Torah."
Nine months later on Sept. 14, and
surrounded by synagogue members,
friends and family, Folkoff was called
to the Torah as a bar mitzvah.
"This was an idea he had for a lot
of years," Rabbi Nelson says. "He is a
self-motivated person, a self-starter,
who came to Beth Shalom with a
,,
dream.
Special Day Chosen
Although he graduated from
Southfield High School, Folkoff says
he was not able to take Hebrew school
classes to become a bar mitzvah.
Folkoff says, "When I was 13 there
weren't services, like JARC, that there
),
are today.
He has been actively involved with
the organization for many years. It
wasn't until later in his life that it
became imperative for him to study
for his bar mitzvah. Regularly making
his way, by foot, to Beth Shalom for
Shabbat services, last January, Folkoff
began also to walk over to the syna-
gogue during the week, to meet with
Cantor Greenbaum.
"We practiced for him to be called
to the Torah for an aliyah," says the
cantor. He transliterated the Torah
portion for Folkoff, who also practiced
from a sheet copied from a page from
the Torah. Another aid for Folkoff was
the tape the cantor prepared of him-
self chanting the Torah portion.
He told me he took it with him
wherever he went, and when he had
free time, he would listen to the tape
over and over again," Cantor
Greenbaum says.
"Harold [Folkoff] put his social life
on hold so he could prepare," says
Deana Lampron, JARC's community
supports coordinator. "Some people
told him he wouldn't be able to learn
it, that there wasn't enough time, but
he was ready — right on schedule —
right when he said he would be
),
ready.
The amount of time Folkoff
allowed himself to prepare was short
— just nine months.
"I wanted my bar mitzvah to be at
the Jewish New Year," he says. "I
picked the day for myself since it was
really important for me to be able to
cast off my old self and begin a new
life for myself."
Rabbi Nelson also saw great signifi-
cance in the date Folkoff chose, falling
between Rosh Hashanah and Yom
Kippur: "When a man returns to the
synagogue at age 50, with a life-long
quest for a personal accomplishment,