The Scene

Expanding The Search

Sometimes, you just have to look a little farther from home.

LISA BRONSTEIN

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and when he finally arrived at Detroit Metropolitan
Airport, Dorkin was exhausted, nervous and acciden-
tally approached the wrong person.
When the two finally found each other, they both
confess to being surprisingly emotional. Their planned
two-day meeting turned into an eight-day adventure.
"Each day, it was more natural for us to be together
than the last," says Dorkin.

Special to the Jewish News

hat's die solution when the dating scene
in your city starts to feel stale? Try the
rest of the country — by Internet.

That was the answer for Jodi Mickel and Lee
Dorkin. Mickel, 33, has lived in Michigan her entire
life, growing up in Southfield and currently residing in
Novi.
Three years ago, when she had not yet found a
meaningful relationship, Mickel decided to search for
alternate methods of meeting someone. She searched
the Internet for Web sites geared towards Jewish sin-
gles, and after looking through a few that she felt were
not terribly easy to maneuver around, discovered
jewishpersonals.com
She found it easy to work with, so she threw her hat
in the ring and set up a profile.
Across the country, in Salt Lake City, Utah, Lee
Dorkin, also 33, was coming to the realization that if
he wanted to marry someone Jewish, he most likely
would not find her in Salt Lake City.
Having grown up in predominantly Jewish Holmdel,
New Jersey, Dorkin moved to Utah for a job and ulti-
mately started his own business-consulting firm.
However, he found Salt Lake City to be quite a
change for him socially. While he used to take it for
granted that there would be Jewish people in his neigh-
borhood, he now had to actively seek them out.
Because Salt Lake City's Jewish community numbers
just over 3,500 residents, Dorkin became involved with
Chabad to keep Judaism in his life.
"It took being around people who were mostly of a
different religion to make me want to going back to
being around Jews," he explains.
While he did have Jewish friends in Utah, most were
married, and he was starting to feel like the proverbial
third wheel.

Checking The Net

Dorkin decided to turn to the Internet for assistance.
Dorkin also found jewishpersonals.com easy to get
around. He did not have to be a member to look at
other people's profiles, so he decided to give it a try. He
found there were no single women from Utah listed on
the site, so he broadened his search, to the West Coast.
Dorkin was discouraged at what he found. After
reading a number of profiles, he concluded there wasn't
anyone he wanted to meet and expanded his search to
the entire Pacific Northwest, again with no luck.
Then he tried the Midwest, saw Mickel's picture and
read her profile. "It was her smile that first caught my
eye," Dorkin admits.
After reading her profile, he felt the two had a lot in
common, so he decided to communicate with her.
Because the process at this point was still anonymous,

11/22
2002

92

Closing The Distance

Newlyweds Lee Dorkin and Jodi Mickel

he felt he could take a risk without fear.
Mickel felt the same way. "Looking back, just know-
ing that Lee was in another state made it easier," she
says. "We were just trying to get to know one-another
bit by bit, anonymously."
The two e-mailed back and forth for a couple of
weeks, using the Web site's system to maintain their
privacy. After two weeks, they decided to share their
personal e-mail addresses with each other. It was at this
time that Jodi admits she "cancelled her membership to
the Web site. I knew I could always go back later.' ,
For the next two weeks, the two . e-mailed each other
at least a few times a day. Then they went to the next
level — the telephone. "Hearing Jodi's voice on her
answering machine for the first time really changed
things for me," says Dorkin. A usually confident per-
son, he admits he was unnerved by their first conversa-
tion. "It didn't. go very well," he laughs. But Mickel rec-
ognized his nervousness, and the two continued to
speak regularly.
"We found a great commonality together," says
Dorkin, "and our e-mails and conversations allowed us
to get to know each other on our own terms. We
weren't just thrown into a relationship."
After speaking on the telephone every day for two
weeks, the two decided to meet. It was easier for
Dorkin to fly to Detroit, as he had the more flexible
job. However, the flight didn't go exactly as planned.
"My flight was delayed, than rerouted through
Texas," says Dorkin. It turned into a 15-hour ordeal,

Over the next few months, from June through
November of 1999, the two made frequent trips to
visit each other. But they realized that in order to make
the relationship work, one of them would have to relo-
cate.
"I was very happy living in Utah," says Dorkin. "I
had no intention of leaving." Still, after a few weeks of
going back and forth for job interviews, the two deter-
mined that it would be easier for Dorkin to find a job
in a business-related field than it would for Mickel, an
in-house graphic designer who works for a manufactur-
ers' representative.
"Besides," notes Mickel, "all of my family is in
Detroit." While the decision to move wasn't easy,
Dorkin says, "My priorities changed when I was here. I
was focusing on being with Jodi, not on what I was
missing in Utah."
But things did not work out exactly as planned. "I
got here and the job I thought I was about to start fell
through," says Dorkin. An agonizing two years later,
Dorkin still did not have a permanent job, and had
given up his thriving consulting practice in Salt Lake
City, as well as his home and his friends. "I started feel-
ing resentful towards Jodi," he admits.
When a new job finally came through, Dorkin
found that his resentment subsided, and the two had
made it through a very difficult situation together. "It
took great conviction on both our parts to get us to
where we are today," says Dorkin.
With things falling into place, they began to discuss
marriage. Both families were supportive, and Dorkin's
mother sent her son her own engagement ring for him
to give to Mickel. He presented the newly designed
ring to Mickel on the beach while the two were vaca-
tioning in Traverse City. He put it in a ceramic box he
purchased before moving from Salt Lake City. It bears
the inscription. "The best is yet to come."
The couple were married Nov. 10 at Congregation
Beth Shalom in Oak Park, the same location where
Mickel's parents, Iris and Harold Mickel, were married
in 1965, as well as Jodi's two sisters. Rabbi David
Nelson and Cantor Samuel Greenbaum also officiated
at all three girls' b'not mitzvah. "I've known Rabbi
Nelson all my life," says Mickel. "There was no ques-
tion where we were going to get married."
"I am much more of a believer in fate these days,"
says Dorkin. "We've had such a similar way of experi-
encing life, it just seems too ironic."

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