RECYCLE YOUR BAR/BAT MITZVAH STUFF FOR A GOOD CAUSE Tight Wad Dad is looking for your Bar/Bat Mitzvah leftovers: printed yarmulkes, napkins, t-shirts "give-away" stuff, etc. For JET'S upcoming Bar Mitzvah season celebration, Sunday, Nov. 3rd 2002 You've never seen a Bar Mitzvah like this before... Trust Us!!! No donation too weird or small 248.788.2900 P.S. JET is a 501c- not-for-profit corporation in case that kind of stuf matters to you. 9/ 6 2002 54 OTHER VIEWS What Grandparents Want Salem, Mass. ery few people know that the second day of Rosh Hasha-nah on Sunday, Sept. 8, is also National Grandparents Day in America. A pity, I think, and not because it might raise the sales of greetings cards, candy or flowers. President Jimmy Carter, in 1978, proclaimed National Grandparents Day for celebration every year on the first Sunday after Labor Day. Even if this seems to be a national holiday without many celebrants, we can at least ask one basic question: What do grandparents wish from their grandchildren? The answer is time and memories. They wish their grandchildren would spend time with them while they are alive and remember them when they are gone. A grandparent's love for grandchil- dren is most often an intense _passion. Those who don't care to see their Dov Burt Levy is a writer dividing his year between Israel and the United States, which happens to be where his grandchildren live. His e-mail is: dblevy@columnist.com. grandchildren, to hold and I remember watching my marvel at them, are in a small friend, Marty, in Jerusalem, minority. a crusty and cynical guy in Pretentious, workaholic men his last years, as he fed his 2- and women have been known year-old grandson: his face to lay down on the floor for shone, his eyes gleamed, his hours at a time, playing blocks mouth puckered and smiled. with a small grandchild. The boy, in return, gave DOV BURT Marty his full attention and Few novels feature grand- LEVY parent-grandchildren themes. ate with joy and smiles. Special However, listen to Simon Until about age 6, grand- Commentary Katz; the despicable con man children accept all the. atten- character in British writer tion and affection we have to Bernard Kops' novel, Settle Down give. I think we had trouble loving Simon Katz: our own children in the same unqual- Katz has only one redeeming fea- ified way. We were often very busy ture, his intense love for his grand- when our own children were growing daughter. He never worked an honest up. They may have been joys, but day in his life; he scams his son, were also burdensome to our time, harasses his daughter-in-law, refuses careers and money. And though we to pay bills and kicks his cat daily. loved and cared about them deeply, But about his granddaughter, he we could not give them the unquali- says, "Being Sharon's grandfather was fied attention we give now to our preferable to any other occupation in grandchildren. the world. As he imagined the face of When we were between the ages of Sharon, he could not help himself 20 and 40, we did not dwell on our kissing the photograph of Betty [his children as our posterity. We were our dead wife] ... the spitting image of own future. We had little sense of our own mortality. We lived, as Zorba the the child, the same smiling face, the same eyes ... 'Sharon,' He spoke her Greek advocated, as if we would live forever. name aloud ... his most beautiful and only grandchild." Grandchildren, after they start talk- A Rosh Hashanah Parable New York abbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev was asked: "What is the right spiritual path, that of sorrow or that of joy?" He replied: "There are two kinds of sorrow and two kinds of joy. When a man broods over the misfor- tunes that have come upon him, it is a bad kind of sorrow. But the grief that comes when a man knows what he has lost is honest and good. "The same is true of joy. One who chases empty pleasures is a fool. But one who is truly joyful is like a man who is rebuilding his house after a fire. He feels his need deep in his soul, and with each stone laid, his heart rejoices." On Sept. 11, we will mark the yahrtzeit [anniversary] of the thou- sands of Americans who perished in R Rabbi Daniel S. Brenner is a senior teaching fellow at CLAL-The National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership. His e-mail address is dbrenner@claiorg extended family. senseless acts of terror. Each month of this coming year, Many Challenges yahrtzeit candles will be lit too We'll need to retain this in the homes of hundreds of sense of unity, both as Jews Israeli families who lost loved and as Americans, to meet ones to the bombs and bullets some of the tough chal- of terrorists. lenges that lie ahead. But while this past year was RABBI In Israel, there are serious a time of sorrow, it was not a DANIEL S. concerns about military time of despair., BRENNER strategy, fences, settlements, Americans came together in Special leadership, human rights, public ways to affirm our Commentary democracy, religious diversi- commitment to freedom and ty, economics and the envi- our resolute strength in the ronment. face of those who threaten our secu- In America, we face many ques- rity. tions about trust in government, civil National unity and civic pride liberties, security and shifting politi- moved to the forefront, with a dis- cal alliances. With such a diversity of play of patriotism not seen in many opinion on all of these issues, there is years. both potential for undermining the During the last two years, Jewish profound" unitythat we have forged unity was at its strongest- since the and the potential to form creative 1972 Yom Kippur War. Rabbis and ways of imagining the future. other Jewish leaders put aside long- If, according to the parable, true standing divisions to respond to the joy is like rebuilding after a fire, then crisis at hand. Thousands of Jews it will be in the process of rebuilding came together to support Israel and that we'll find our new year's bless- provide for the basic needs of our