think, 'She dresses like a slut, but
I'm going to get to know her just in
case.' You need to dress how you
want to be perceived."
Her mother, Robin, expressed
"confidence that [her] girls have a
sense that being too provocative is
not desirable. They want to give an
image of being more intelligent, and
not being-just a body. They're aware
of fashions
keep up with them,
but not in an inappropriate way."
In case they disagrde, of course,
she "holds the purse strings."
"I don't want my kids dressing in a
certain way and keep a pretty tight
rein on what they wear," she says.
When asked whether being Jewish
should impact their clothing choices,
most teens who responded said that
what is appropriate in dress is so for
all women, regardless of religion.
But one Hillel student, who pre-
ferred to remain anonymous, strong-
ly disagreed. "I think that no matter
where we go, we always have to take
into consideration that we're Jewish
people and have high expectations
— now more than ever because of
what's going on in the world."
In defense of the Orthodox, she
added: "It doesn't matter whether we
agree with them. We need to respect
what they're wearing and understand
why they wear it."

Teen Boys Weigh In

For teenage boys, the matter of
skimpy dress seems to boil down to
two issues. First, the context. As
Vadim Avshalumov, a 17-year-old
Jewish Academy student from West
Bloomfield, put it, "If it's shul or a
special occasion, it's awkward if they
don't cover up enough." Second,
even if it's OK for everyone else,
boys are bothered by the idea of
their own sisters and friends wearing
revealing fashions.
"It's none of my business if it's other
girls. If it's my family or my close
friend, though, it's a protection issue.
Girls are more vulnerable to being
abused or to guys just thinking of
them as sexual objects," he said.
Still, Josh Diskin, a 10th-grader at
JAMD from Farmington Hills, said
as long as his sister was not dressing
inappropriately on a given occasion,
he wouldn't try to influence her. "It
would bother me seeing other guys
looking at my sister, but there's
nothing I could do if that's her per-
sonal style. If she knows when to
wear and not wear tight clothing,
that's OK.

"Girls who wear skimpy clothes
either have a lot of self-confidence
or just want attention," he said. "If
the girl is comfortable and that's her
personal style, it's fine with me.
Good guys don't go for girls on the
way they dress or look."'

1711pir e

and accessories

Tzniyut
tit In Secular Society

If the Detroit Jewish community is
becoming more sensitive to modesty,
so, too, are others in our area. As a
recent Detroit Free Press article
noted, local school dress codes and
even uniforms are becoming more
widespread -as educators recognize
how distra‘tting such things as tank
tops, short skirts-and Spandex can
be.
These restrictions extend to male
students as well, who are banned
from wearing clothing with holes,
pants that drop too far beneath their
waistlines, excessive jewelry, wraps
on their heads, etc. While these may
not be as distracting as the girls'
fashions, they nevertheless lower the
standards for respect and behavior.
Tzniyut is turning up elsewhere
around the country. Delve into cyber-
space and you'll find numerous Web
sites devoted to the topic — from
Christians and Muslims stressing the
religious imperative of traditional
dress, to businesses, such as "Kathy's
Modest Patterns," which specializes in
modest sewing guides. There's even a
site called "Ms. Modesty" for a com-
pany that manufactures conservative
clothing for dolls.
Popular retailer Abercrombie .&
Fitch has been in the news lately for
protests against its catalogues'
provocatiVe depictions of teens and,
most recently, for marketing to
young girls thong underwear printed
with such phrases as "wink wink."
In a book, A Return To Modesty
(Simon & Schuster, 1999), that has
received much attention, author
Wendy Shalit proposes that "the
woes besetting the modern young
woman — sexual harassment, stalk-
ing, rape, even 'whirlpooling' (when
a group of guys surround a girl who
is swimming and sexually assault
her) — are all expressions of a socie-
ty that has lost its respect for female
modesty."
Whether they realize it or not,
Americans everywhere today have
tzniyut on their minds and, if Shalit
is correct in thinking a return to
modesty will bring increased honor
between the sexes, that could be a
very good thing. El

Fl t • lass
nterior Exte

s*

We carry all hardware:
Valli Valli, Baldwin, Orrinia,
Rocky Mountain, Bouvet,
La Forge, Cifiai

33082 Northwestern

between 14 & Orchard Lake Road

(between Home Appliance & InStyle Furniture)

;;W

9/ 6

2002

175