For Openers
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Who Goes There?
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By Goldfein
jr
ewish holidays move by sev-
eral weeks on the secular cal-
endars, as it is solar-based
and the Jewish calendar is
lunar-based, separating them from the
Christian holidays. Can you name the
one holiday that does not move by
more than a few days in conjunction
with a Christian holiday?
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Quotables
"I resent being asked if I am a loyal Jew.
It has nothing to do with whether the
occupation is wrong or not. The second
you criticize the occupation you're not a
loyal and authentic Jew There's no
debate allowed within the Jewish com-
munity."
— Irena Klepfisz, a New York City
poet and essayist who escaped the Warsaw
ghetto before her father was killed as a
fighter in the 1.941 uprising, as
quoted in the Forward She's part of the
Israeli-founded Women in
Black anti-occupation network.
"We simply can no longer afford to
allow this region to
remain cloistered by a
fanatic militancy. We
must let the winds of
freedom and inde-
pendence finally pene-
trate the one region in
the world that clings
to unreformed tyran-
ny
— Binyamin Netanyahu, former Israeli
prime minister, in addressing
the US. Senate.
.
"We know Arafat is a liar. We know
Arafat is a terrorist. What we didn't
know is how deep he is a terrorist."
— Major-General Moshe Evry Sukenik,
Israel Defense Forces defense and armed
forces attache for the United States and
Canada, at the Michigan Friends of the
IDF rally at Congregation Shaarey Zedek
in Southfield, referring to Palestinian
Authority leader Yasser Arafat. i
My neighborhood cable compa-
li Baba had it made.
ny, which shall remain unnamed,
All he had to do was
recently restructured. They then
walk up to the cave,
saddled me with a new password
say, "Open Sesame,"
that they selected for me. Comcast
and he was in. Maybe if all the
(oops!) sent me a long letter
needed passwords today were that
explaining
that my new password
easy, we'd feel less harassed.
was
an
encryption
of my first name
During the world wars, soldiers
and last name, eight digits, my
had passwords structured specifical-
mother's uncle's cousin's
ly so that the enemy would
city of birth plus the
be identified. The key
state.
This is in addition
words were either unpro- •
to
the
"clever" words I
nounceable for any, but
came
up
with to sign on
"true Americans or were
to my computer to begin
based on some fact- (players
with.
in the World Series, for
If you listen to the
example) that the enemy
warnings
— do not use
would not be privy to.
your
nickname;
do not
With the surfeit of elec-
use
your
maiden
name;
tronic gadgetry plaguing
SY MAN ELLO
do
not
use
your
dog's
our lives today, the number
Edito rial
name; do not use any-
of passwords needed to get
Assist- ant
thing that would easily
started, gain entry or mere-
come to mind — how do
ly activate can be over-
you
keep straight all the
whelming. I have found
codes
needed
to
get you going?
that I am experiencing the same
Maybe
it
would
be convenient to
mental traumas as some of my
write them down somewhere and
younger comrades who are not
post them: alongside the computer,
bothered by the "hereafter." (I go
on the fridge or next to your house
into a room and say, "Now what
alarm-box pad.
am I here after?")
This suggestion reminds me of
Our computers at work require
the
story of the people of Chelm
us to have a password to just sign
who
had trouble with thieves emp-
on, another for our e-mail and
tying the alms box at the shul. The
another for our AOL site. Those of
the staff who have laptops also have solution, in true Chelm fashion,
was to put the box high on the wall
passwords to use with those. Of
of the shul with a ladder to gain .
course, many of us are also con-
access.
They posted a note on the
nected at home, where there is
ladder
that
it was to be "used only
another set of entrance terms need-
by those who want to give alms,
ed. (Don't even get me started on
not by thieves."
code number combinations for cell
Say, I wonder if anyone else is
phones, home alarms, keyless-entry
using
"Open Sesame?"
cars, ATMs, etc.)
A
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) J11 Digest
Selected news and feature tor'is from
the DetioitJesh News.
1,
www. detroi ewisnnews,
coin /news
) what%
Harry Kirsba
The Real Jeniri.'
wvvw.detroitjeWishneWs,com/ofiinion
e 1
) Mideast Update
The latest news from the war-torn
Middle East.
wwwjewish.com
) Young Man On
Campus-
A week ago, columnist Marlene Adler
Marks wondered if any American Jewish
college students were speaking up in
defense of Israel. She's glad she found the
answer to her question.
www.jewish.com
Yiddish Limericks
The Maccabi Games name their teams
Of basketball players with themes.
From Cleveland they've got
The Kugels* who're hot.
They're all longer lokscken** it seems.
— Martha Jo Fleischmann
traditional Jewish noodle puddings
** long noodles (literal)
tall, skinny people (idiomatic)
GRAPEJEWZ By Mendel
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4/26
2002