Helping Others
Realize A Wish

his Shabbat,
after Zara
Mogilevsky is
called to the Torah as a
bat mitzvah at Adat
Shalom Synagogue, she
will celebrate in a very
unusual, personal way.
"My parents said I
could have a party or
we could plan a trip to
Israel," says 13-year-old
Zara of West
Bloomfield.
But instead, the sev-
enth grader at Warner
Middle School in
Farmington Hills decid-
ed on something else.
"I wanted to donate

T

the money we would
have spent on either a
party or a trip to the
Make-A-Wish
Foundation," she says.
The idea came to
Zara from a story her
mom told her four
years earlier. "My mom,
who is a nurse, told me
about a little girl with a
life-threatening disease
who got her wish to
have a singer that she
liked come to visit her
in the hospital."
Although Zara does-
n't know who will ben-
efit from her generosi-
ty, the foundation

Eittir Starik Mast Go-.

•

Zara Mogilevsky

allowed her to make
the general request that
a wish be granted to a
Michigan teenager.
"A party would be
Something to make me
happy," Zara says. "But
if I could do something
to make somebody else
happy, that's better." ❑

declines an invitation to a
party because gift giving is
coming of age," says Rabbi
too expensive, the Farmington
E.B. "Bunny" Freedman, an
Hills-based school instituted a
Orthodox member of the
plan. Each child contributes
Michigan Board of Rabbis. "It
an amount of their own dis-
is not like a graduation, which
cretion to a class gift fund,
marks a completion. It holds
from which a b'nai mitzvah
no meaning other than spiri-
gift is bought for each child
tual meaning and festivities
— the same gift regardless of
surrounding it should reflect
the confidential amount con-
the spiritual level achieved in
tributed.
the life of the b'nai mitzvah."
The clergy will share their
He sees the cause of the
statement with congregants,
escalating extravagances in
youth advisers and bar and
today's parties as the result of
bat mitzvah teachers, with the
living in a successful society.
hope that the advice will get
"And that is reflected in the
not only to the kids, but to
more ostentatious celebrations Miles L evin
their parents as well.
that are being planned
"We hope to help families
throughout the movements."
reach the b'nai mitzvah's spiritual poten-
He hopes a post-Sept. 11 trend "to
tial," Rabbi Nevins says. "We.hope
scale back on entertainment, stay clos-
those planning parties will see their role
er to home and look for more enrich-
as host as an extension of the religious
ing experiences" will be reflected in
statement of the b'nai mitzvah."
b'nai mitzvah planning.
"I personally am not disdainful of
the decisions that our families make,"
Rabbi Yedwab says. "Generally, they
What Works?
are quite appropriate. I do, however,
For some, making specific changes has
believe that it is a good idea to period-
helped eliminate cost and improve
ically remind people about what is
comfort level of b'nai mitzvah atten-
Jewishly required and what is simply
dees.
`popular culture.'"
At Hillel Day School of
"We are hoping that by having the
Metropolitan Detroit, organization
clergy step ahead of the community
and uniformity answered a significant
and show leadership, they will
concern of gift-giving where students
respond," Rabbi Freedman says.
may be invited to dozens of parties
"Maybe we will be giving some cover
during the course of middle school.
to those who now have a reason to not
To make certain that no child ever
make a more optimum party." r1

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CELEBRATIONS from page 13

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