Helping Others Realize A Wish his Shabbat, after Zara Mogilevsky is called to the Torah as a bat mitzvah at Adat Shalom Synagogue, she will celebrate in a very unusual, personal way. "My parents said I could have a party or we could plan a trip to Israel," says 13-year-old Zara of West Bloomfield. But instead, the sev- enth grader at Warner Middle School in Farmington Hills decid- ed on something else. "I wanted to donate T the money we would have spent on either a party or a trip to the Make-A-Wish Foundation," she says. The idea came to Zara from a story her mom told her four years earlier. "My mom, who is a nurse, told me about a little girl with a life-threatening disease who got her wish to have a singer that she liked come to visit her in the hospital." Although Zara does- n't know who will ben- efit from her generosi- ty, the foundation Eittir Starik Mast Go-. • Zara Mogilevsky allowed her to make the general request that a wish be granted to a Michigan teenager. "A party would be Something to make me happy," Zara says. "But if I could do something to make somebody else happy, that's better." ❑ declines an invitation to a party because gift giving is coming of age," says Rabbi too expensive, the Farmington E.B. "Bunny" Freedman, an Hills-based school instituted a Orthodox member of the plan. Each child contributes Michigan Board of Rabbis. "It an amount of their own dis- is not like a graduation, which cretion to a class gift fund, marks a completion. It holds from which a b'nai mitzvah no meaning other than spiri- gift is bought for each child tual meaning and festivities — the same gift regardless of surrounding it should reflect the confidential amount con- the spiritual level achieved in tributed. the life of the b'nai mitzvah." The clergy will share their He sees the cause of the statement with congregants, escalating extravagances in youth advisers and bar and today's parties as the result of bat mitzvah teachers, with the living in a successful society. hope that the advice will get "And that is reflected in the not only to the kids, but to more ostentatious celebrations Miles L evin their parents as well. that are being planned "We hope to help families throughout the movements." reach the b'nai mitzvah's spiritual poten- He hopes a post-Sept. 11 trend "to tial," Rabbi Nevins says. "We.hope scale back on entertainment, stay clos- those planning parties will see their role er to home and look for more enrich- as host as an extension of the religious ing experiences" will be reflected in statement of the b'nai mitzvah." b'nai mitzvah planning. "I personally am not disdainful of the decisions that our families make," Rabbi Yedwab says. "Generally, they What Works? are quite appropriate. I do, however, For some, making specific changes has believe that it is a good idea to period- helped eliminate cost and improve ically remind people about what is comfort level of b'nai mitzvah atten- Jewishly required and what is simply dees. `popular culture.'" At Hillel Day School of "We are hoping that by having the Metropolitan Detroit, organization clergy step ahead of the community and uniformity answered a significant and show leadership, they will concern of gift-giving where students respond," Rabbi Freedman says. may be invited to dozens of parties "Maybe we will be giving some cover during the course of middle school. to those who now have a reason to not To make certain that no child ever make a more optimum party." r1 CO % Off up to nal Price k 4: V vst. CELEBRATIONS from page 13 ' .: ..." .+;-',. ' \ '`,:;•.' '44: -`,' ' ,..:k,- \\. • Nx \\ N› • k • ,k 4 I . ''' . `,.., \kW. "k. • \ • . is Pleased to Announce the Addition of Mark Gilbert to Its Professional Ste. Please Call Markhr 'lour Custom Quote at 73-1-822-5403. 590 Auto Mall Drive • Ann Arbor N I:i r 734-996-1662 • 1.866-645-3987 ( )r S;1 I u s. ( wwwlexusofAnnArbor.com r t I I :Hit Now You Can Have A Beaumont OB/GYN! Visit our office in the Birmingham/Troy area. Specialists in: • Obstetrics • Menopause Alternatives • Female Medicine • Epidurals • Natural Hormone Therapy • GYN Laser Surgery • Infertility/Prepared Childbirth • Breast Cancer Education • Family Planning 1777 Axtell, Ste. 102 Dr. Ira H. Mickelson, M.D. & Dr. Robin M. Moherek, M.D. Obstetrics & Gynecology (one block east of Coolidge, just north of Maple) 1-248-822-6200 Accepting Most Insurances IMAGINE the FINEST MUSIC EXCEEDING ALL EXPECTATIONS INTRIGUE Me Music and ED erthinmeryE finE vvrtll ma_ e your Prtyl Call Stella Actis Aldo (248) 879-2373 Visit our web site: www.intrigue-online.com 1/11 2002 17