inion
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More Than Chopped Liver
L
et us say a word of thanks to Rabbi
Yaakov Perlow and his colleagues for their
effort to curb the conspicuous consump-
tion that has marked a number of frum
weddings.
According to a report last week in the Forward,
Rabbi Perlow and 26 other influential hare-
di rabbis have drafted a takhanah, or for-
mal guideline, that would strictly limit the
number of guests invited to an Orthodox
wedding, the number of musicians hired to
play and even the type and amount of food that is
to be served.
Rabbi Perlow, the chief religious authority of the
fervently Orthodox organization Agudath Israel of
America in New York City, wants to restrain the
"can-you-top-this" attitudes that have escalated the
cost of weddings in recent years. A typical wedding
now may cost $35,000; really lavish ones — with
big bands, ice sculptures and a thousand or so
guests, may set the parents back $150,000. If a fam-
ily has several daughters — not uncommon in
Orthodox life — the costs can become ruinous.
The draft takhanah aims for a $15,000 cap on
nuptial celebration. It prescribes no more than 400
guests; an entree and two simple side dishes; a little
wine or liquor bottles on the table, but no
bar; a one-man band; artificial flowers
and rented gowns. If you go over the top,
your bridal party will
not include any of the hundreds of
rabbis who are expected to sign on
to the takhanah guidelines.
The rabbis are setting a wonder-
ful example that the non-Orthodox
should consider. If the most care-
fully observant of Jews can do with-
out extravagance in such a crucial
EDIT ORIAL
ceremony, maybe the rest of us could find equivalent
limits on spending for other life cycle events, like
b'nai mitzvot, which sometimes seem to celebrate the
wealth of the parents rather than the child's accept-
ance of his or her place in the community.
We've got nothing against a good party and we
don't wish ill to the caterers and arrangers. But hav-
ing staggered away from too many noise- and calo-
rie-filled extravaganzas, we would welcome a return
to basics. ❑
WAMNG 11 THE WINGS
The Cup Half Filled
F
or the haredim, a wedding is 100 percent
Jewish. For most of American Judaism,
however, the cup is only half-filled —
and the level is dropping.
The American Jewish Identity Survey
released earlier this month by the Center
for Jewish Studies at the Graduate Center
of the City University of New York found
that, for the last decade, the rate of intermarriage
among America's Jewish adults was 51 percent,
essentially the same number found in the 1990
Jewish Population Survey. That figure took on
almost iconic status as the symbol of waning Jewish
identity in America, prompting endless discussion
and vast new outreach programs to try to stem the
flow away from observance.
The new report suggests that the
programs have had, at best, limit-
ed impact despite the fact that we
as a people have encouraged mar-
rying within the faith to
assure Jewish continuity.
The new report finds that there are more
intermarried couples than before, with the
overall proportion of Jews married to non-Jews now
37 percent, up from 28 percent in 1990. Don't
expect a turnaround any time soon; four out of five
unmarried Jews who live with a partner have non-
Jewish partners.
Obviously, there is no simple solution that will
assure Jewish continuity. How we identify ourselves
is ultimately a matter of individual choice, not a
EDIT ORIAL
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question of which of our parents was what. We can,
and should, make sure that our children know
about the vibrancy of our heritage. We can, and
should, reinforce synagogue efforts to reach out to
the non-Jewish partners, a policy reinforced this
weekend at the Reform Movement's biennial meet-
ing.
It is going to take our most thoughtful, inventive
and empathetic efforts to deal with a challenge that
shows no signs of going away. ❑
Stand Tall Behind Israel
I
t is time for the Israeli Labor Party, and its
many supporters among American Jews who
have supported the "Oslo peace process," to
admit that they were wrong.
Why should Palestinian Authority leader Yasser
Arafat believe that we have a right to defend our-
selves if many within our own community are quick
to criticize Israel when that small nation defends
itself? Until very recently, I truly feared that we, as
Jews, had lost our way, in terms of understanding
that defense of Israel and its strength are a sine qua
non (an indispensable thing).
American Jewish Committee/Michigan Area
Director Sharona Shapiro ("Does Arafat Want
Peace?, Dec. 7, page 5) is misguided in her otherwise
Eric J. Rosenberg is a Farmington Hills resident. His
e-mail address is resa9@aol.com
Jews, including the editorial board of the Jewish
good letter when she refers to the "significant gains
News, have railed against Prime Ministers Shamir,
in Israeli-Palestinian peacemaking made during the
Binyamin Netanyahu and Ariel Sharon when they
past decade." To her and her ideological cohorts, I
have tried to swim upstream against the tide of
say: The last eight years have been brutal for Israel's
peace in our time.”
security and national psyche.
Support by Jewish liberals for "the peace
Tell It Straight
process" has had a bad odor to me since
Why are we, as American Jews, so quick
before Oslo in 1993, in the same fashion
to
criticize hawkish prime ministers? Where
that I opposed the pressure on then-Israeli
was
our outrage when President Bill Clinton
Prime Minister Yitzhak Shamir by the elder
maneuvered
outrageously to try to elect a
President George Bush. In the same Dec. 7
pliant
Israeli
prime minister? Why are we so
issue that so movingly honors the 60th
ready
to
give
away land to the states and
anniversary of Pearl Harbor, I am impelled
individuals
who
started the wars that they
to wonder why it is that we, as Jews, tend
ERIC J.
then
lost
to
Israel,
thereby generating losses
to forget the past, when it teaches us so
ROSENBERG
of
land?
many important lessons.
Community
Why do so many of our good-hearted,
Chasing a concept called a "peace
Views
STAND TALL on page 44
process," the vast majority of American
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12/14
2001
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