A Compassionate Life

SUSAN TAWIL

Special to the Jewish News

is CB handle was "Honest Abe."
an apt description of Abraham
Selesny, a lawyer and communi-
ty activist who died Sept. 19 at

It was interesting growing up and sha
ing my dad with so many children,' joked
Joey Selesrm
An Orthodox Jew, Mr. Selesnv became
active in Detroit's Vaad Harabonim
(Council of Orthodox Rabbis) to help
ensure that Jewish women involved in
divorce proceedings were granted their get
(religious writ of divorce).
"He loved practicing law," said his
wife, Myra. "So many people have told
me how he helped them, how he would-
n't charge them, how he 'saved
their lives.'"

age 63.
He never lied to us," said son Joey
Selesnv of Southfield, "so we learned hon-
esty through his example. The only thing he
didn't tell us the truth about was how sick
he was."
Mr. Selesnv died of liver can-
cer in his home the second day
Community Activist
of Rosh Hashanah. He davened
Mr.
Selesnv vas active in many
with his family, heard the sho-
community organizations, includ-
far, prayed the afternoon
ing Hebrew Memorial Chapel as
Minchah service and died an
a past president, 'Yeshivat Akiva,
hour later. That evening, after
Young Israel of Southfield, and
the holiday ended, an 11 p.m.
Jewish Federation of Metropolitan
funeral service was held at
Detroit phone-a-thons. Mr.
Hebrew Memorial Chapel, with
Selesnv also volunteered at the
more than 800 people attend-
William Beaumont Hospital ther-
ing.
apy pool, helping patients several
Mr. Selesny was known for
Abraham Se lesny
times a week.
his hearty sense of humor, his
He studied Torah and attend-
friendliness and his insight into
ed Judaic studies classes every week. He
others. "He made everyone feel that you
passed his religious devotion and love of
were his special friend," said Rabbi
Israel to his five children. Three made
Elimelech Goldberg of Young Israel of
aliyah
with their families.
Southfield, where the Selesneys are mem-
"My
father was very proud of his children
bers.
who decided to live in Israel," said daughter
A Southfield resident, Mr. Selesny was
Gayle Priwler, a resident of Modi'in, Israel.
born in Brooklyn, moving to Detroit when
Her brother, Michael, also lived in Israel,
he was 3. His father died when he was 12,
but died there almost two years ago, leaving
which perhaps influenced his involved par-
a wife and four children. The Selesnys insti-
enting style.
tuted a memorial scholarship at Yeshivat
"He was the best dad in the world, and
Sha'alvim, and donated a Sefer Torah in his
our best friend as well," Joey Selesney
memory
said. "We could talk to him about any-
"Michael's death weighed very heavily on
thing. He wanted to share everything
him. He never got over it," said son Joey.
with his family."
After the Detroit funeral service, Mr.
Mr. Selesny grew up poor, but he was
Selesny's body was flown to Israel, where a
resourceful. He joined the Detroit Cass
second funeral was held. He was buried in
Technical High School band and the
the same cemetery as Michael.
school's Reserve Officer Training Corps
Mr. Selesny is survived by his wife of 40
because each required a uniform be worn
years,
Myra; children, Steven and Dina
twice weekly. That way, he only had to
Selesny of West Hampstead, N.Y., Gayle
provide his own school clothes once a
and Morry Priwler of Modi'in, Israel,
week.
Tzippi and Gershon Tokayer of Beit
After graduation, he became a U.S. Air
Shemesh, Israel, Joey and Chaya Selesny of
Force pilot, attaining the rank of captain.
Southfield; daughter-in-law, Julie Selesny
He also served in the Judge Advocate
Levy of Israel; 14 grandchildren; sisters,
General Corps, the legal department of the
Drora Kleinplatz of Oak Park and Sarah
armed forces.
Singal
of Oak Park.
A graduate of Detroit College of Law, he
Interment was at Eretz HaChayim ceme-
specialized in family law and practiced for
tery in Beit Shemesh, Israel; services and
36 years. He was especially concerned with
arrangements by Hebrew Memorial Chapel.
children in divorce cases. Judges, knowing
Contributions may be made to a charity of
of his compassion, often granted him power
one's choice. ❑
of custodianship.

A

ection For All

memorial service at Temple Beth
El for the teens. They shared
tales of the tall, skinny guy with
the smile that lit up their lives:
enton Edward Slatkin
how he "borrowed" his brother's
had little regard for
wallet and car, showing Will's
onvention but great
license to the police when he
respect for other peo-
was stopped for speeding and
ple. He was the one they turned
managing to get off with a warn-
to when they needed a listening
ing; how he dyed his dark hair
ear or a shoulder to cry on.
bright red one time,
When Ben died
snow white another;
Sept. 16 at age 15,
the day during a
friends memorialized
cruise
vacation when
him in repeating
he walked on the
refrains:
ship's rails.
You were my best
"No matter how
friend
many buttons he
You were like a
pushed, eventually
brother to me.
that big, goofy smile
I could really talk to
of his would erupt
you, and you really lis-
across his face and
tened.
melt every concern
You changed my
Benton Sla tkin
away," said Rabbi
life.
Castiglione. Ben's
I love you.
enormous self-confidence and
Ben ate lunch that Sunday,
affection for everyone "made
then climbed into the hot tub at
parents and brothers and sisters
his Bloomfield Hills home.
-
and friends of us all."
Lulled to sleep by the large meal
Ben attended Detroit
and high water temperature, he
Country Day School until last
slipped under the water and
year, when he transferred to
drowned. When his mother
Andover High, where he was a
found him, she administered
sophomore. Talented at several
CPR while a friend called 911,
sports, he pitched for Franklin
but Ben was dead on arrival at
League and Maccabi baseball
St. Joseph Mercy-Oakland
teams. He loved to cook, and
Hospital.
prepared meals for his brother
The next day, as the news
when his mother wasn't home.
spread, dozens of his friends
He sometimes talked about
came to the home Ben shared
becoming a chef. He even
with his mother, Leslie, and
learned to make sushi, one of
brother, Will, 17. His father,
his favorite foods.
Dennis, died of cancer in 1990.
Ben is survived by his mother,
His friends hung out in the
Leslie
Slatkin; brother, William
room Ben so proudly decorated
Slatkin; and grandmother, Bette
himself, with one red wall and a
Rubin.
sheepskin on the bed. Some
He was the beloved son of the
wrote letters to Ben, which were
late Dennis Slatkin; loving
buried with him. Temple Beth
grandson of the late Edward
El's Rabbi David Castiglione
Rubin, the late Edith Slatkin
coordinated an impromptu
and
the late Joseph Slatkin.
memorial service on the lawn.
Interment
was at Clover Hill
Leslie Slatkin said she was
Park Cemetery. In Ben's memo-
amazed to learn how important
ry, his family has established the
Ben had been to his friends.
Benton Slatkin Baseball Program
"There must have been six girls
at Orchards Children's Services,
here who said he was their first
30215 Southfield Road,
kiss," his mother said.
Southfield 48076. Arrangements
The evening after Ben's funer-
by Ira Kaufman Chapel. ❑
al, Rabbi Castiglione led another

BARBARA LEWIS

Special to the Jewish News

9/28
2001

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