Life's Journeys
Helping children who are grieving
balked. After all, the buildings weren't
going anywhere, let alone the skyline.
That once-settling thought was the
first thing racing through my mind as
I saw the Twin Towers tumble to the
ground.
— Mara Reinstein, 25, formerly of
Farmington Hills, is an entertainment
writer for Teen People.
Ben Falik
I
was cracking the spine of Plato's
Republic just as an airplane
struck the second tower of the
World Trade Center. It would
be an hour before I had any idea the
so-called "Attack on America" was tak-
ing place just a few miles south of me
and around the country.
After class, sound bites from every
conversation I passed convinced me to
go to the roof of Mudd, a building on
campus with a postcard perspective of
the city. The southerly view presented
familiar university buildings in the
foreground. Beyond them, the land-
scape seemed to grow to a peak at the
Empire State Building, which was the
last discernable building before the
great cloud of smoke that enclosed
Lower Manhattan.
I returned to a friend's room to see
the TV coverage. A phone interview
made me think to call home. I dialed
from the phone in the room and was
unable to connect. The university sys-
tem was down, and no one's cellular
phone was working. I jumped off the
futon when a neighbor offered his corn- •
puter as a phone, and told my mom,
through the bad reception, I was fine.
My friends and I then decided to
give blood. We found a line outside
St. Luke's Hospital backed up for four
hours, and one at St. John the Divine
Cathedral preparing to help. We tried
a residence hall rumored to be taking
donations, but ended up with a num-
ber and time to call for donations the
next morning. .
"It's quite miraculous," my dad said
in the afternoon about my relatives
who work in New York.
"Your aunt is on short vacation and
your cousin [who is a new father]
missed everything because he was 15
minutes late for work."
He told me to steer clear of trouble,
and put on my brother, who was so
distraught he had to-leave school early.
He asked me if I was scared.
"It's the worst thing that has happened
in our lifetime," I said. "Let's hope it
stays that way for a long time." 7_
A message from Dottie Deremo,
President/CEO, Hospice of Michigan
H
ow do you comfort a child who
has lost a parent or sibling? As
adults we know how difficult
it is to accept the loss of loved ones.
How do we enter the realm of child-
hood when there are fears and lone-
liness that cannot be expressed?
At Hospice of Michigan, our
experience with families identified
a need for a special grief support
program for children. You can learn
more about it from Pat Albaum, a
grief support counselor, and Peter
Wolf, a pediatric social worker when
they present "Children and Grief:
The Journey of Hope," at 7:30 p.m.,
September 25, at Borders Books &
Music in Birmingham. Peter and Pat
approach this difficult topic in an
unusual and creative way.
"Children need to feel safe.
Some things will change within
the home, but it's the unspoken
rituals that offer cony fbrt when
they remain the same."
Using the book, "Brave Bart, a
Story for Grieving Children," for
inspiration, Peter and Pat take the
part of characters in the book.
Without giving too much away, Pat
acts out Brave Barbara, a child who
doesn't feel like playing. She doesn't
confide what has happened; she just
mopes around. Peter appears as
Helpful Henry, who tries to cheer
Barbara by keeping her company.
She survives this sad time, thanks to
Helpful Henry.
Following the presentation, chil-
dren receive puppets representing
Helping Henry and Brave Barbara.
Adults are offered educational mate-
rials on helping children cope with
loss.
a master's degree in social work and
specializes in counseling children and
their families. Since last December,
he has provided support and counsel
for our pediatric hospice program.
Peter finds art and play therapy use-
ful for enabling children to express
hidden feelings.
.;
...sometimes it takes
year s .jibr a young person to
open up for help.
Pat first joined Hospice of Michigan
as a volunteer, having experienced a
series of losses. She holds a master's
degree in counseling. Last January
she began working at Hospice Home
in Farmington Hills. As she met with
families, she recognized the unique-
ness of children's grief.
Children act out their feelings
Children and teens often express
their grief non-verbally, through play
or other physical actions. Adults can
learn the signs of grief and ways
they can help children express their
strong feelings.
For example, Pat advises family
members to maintain a familiar daily
schedule, such as following normal
dinner and bed times. Pat explains:
"Children need to feel safe. Some
things will change within the home,
but it's the unspoken rituals that
offer comfort when they remain the
same."
Peter came to Hospice of Michigan
after four years in Boston, working
with traumatized children. He holds
ADVERTISEMENT
When reaching out to teens, Pat
and Peter feel the approach must be
sensitive to their cognitive and social
development. Pat says that sometimes
it takes years for a young person to
open up for help. She patiently sends
cards and reminders that there is
someone in their corner. Peter sug-
gests that teens write in a journal if
words are too difficult to speak.
Our grief support department has
created a "Journey of Hope" box for
grieving children, which contains a
book where they can record memo-
ries of their deceased loved one, a
small stuffed toy and several card
games to aid in expressing feelings.
We are very grateful to the Women's
Committee for Hospice Care for
funding this project.
It is gratifying that we can offer
these specialized programs and
counseling services at Hospice of
Michigan. To learn more about our
grief support services for children,
teens and adults, call 248-559-9209.
To learn more about the Jewish
Hospice Program, contact Bobbie
Blitz, Jewish liaison specialist, at
248-253-2580, ext. 4523.
And in honor of the Jewish New
Year, I wish you all the blessings of
good health, long life and lasting peace.
.
A.S
1-)
Wishing Our Clients, Families
and Friends A Healthy
Happy New Year!
V\ALTER I-ERZ INTERIORS INC
— Ben Falik, 19, of Bloomfzel Township,
is a sophomore at Columbia University.
SUSAN WINTON—FEINBERG, A.S.I.D. —
Director of Design
4120 West 'Maple Suite 107 • 13loonifield Hills, Michigan 48301 • 248-539-7200
jVi n.
9/14
2001
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