Kvetch As Kvetch Can

Creative complaining can be better
than a fine whine.

"Tops on my list...
"The best Pizza
their Filet Mignon" in Metro Detroit"

Everyone has the right to kvetch; the
trick is to know how to attract others
while doing so.
"Creative kvetching draws people in;
it engages the listener, so you can
unburden yourself and rethink your
problems while improving your rela-
tionship," says Held.
She attributes the natural ability to
kvetch to a "kvetching gene" (which
may or may not be Jewish). Still, even
those without the gene may
become creative kvetchers over
time, although it may take
some practice and encourage-
ment from seasoned kvetchers.
Says Dr. Held: " I have called
upon Americans to liberate
themselves from the tyranny of
the positive attitude, from the
pressure to smile and look on
the bright side, no matter how
hard life gets. It is important to
be able to kvetch — to kvetch
creatively — when you are
moved to, when you want to,
when you need to."

JAMIE ROSEN

College Intern

T

uesday, Sept. 4, the day
after Labor Day, marks the
end of the summer vaca-
tion season, and has been
declared "National Kvetching Day" by
Barbara Held, an author with a few
gripes of her own.
All people who don't want their ran
to fade, who
don't want to go
back to work,
who don't want
to take their kids
back-to-school
shopping are
encouraged to
use this special
day to kvetch
like they've never
kvetched before,
says the Jewish
psychotherapist.
The Yiddish
word "kvetch"
BARBARA HELD, PH.D.
comes close to
the following
Kvetch to your
definitions —
heart's content
"complain, gripe,
on Sept 4
vent, grouse or
bellyache" —
says Dr. Held,
the author of Stop Smiling, Start

•

Kvetching: A 5-Step Guide to Creative
Complaining (St. Martin's Griffin;

$9.95). In her book, she tells how
kvetching can be a constructive way to
deal with life's difficulties.
A self-described defensive pessimist
and avid kvetcher, Held argues that
America is consumed by what she calls
"the tyranny of the positive attitude"
— the pressure to slap on a smile,
look on the bright side and deny that
life can be hard.
This anti-kvetching thinking may
work for some, but for others, includ-
ing Held, it only adds insult to injury.
Kvetching, a method of coping, can
help to vent frustration, acknowledge
a problem, sort out thoughts and find
an effective solution.
To begin, Held clears up the confu-
sion between .whining and kvetching.
While whiners expect the listener to fix
the problem, kvetchers don't hold such
expectations — they just want to vent.

•

❑

A rim-sinus
PROGRAM
TO CREATIVE
RITETCHMG:

1_. Your Inalienable Right to Kvetch:

No problem is too trivial.

2. You Can't Kvetch to All of the
People All of the Time. One must

acquire informed consent from
the listener before kvetching. A
failure to do so may result in non-
creative kvetching.

3. Don't Pretend You Aren't
KvetchingWhen You Are. Denial

may lead to alienation of the lis-
tener if you have not gained his or
her informed consent.

4. Do Not Be a Competitive
Kvetcher. Don't claim your prob-

lems are worse than the listener's
are — it will drive him or her
away.

... John Tanasychuk, Detroit Free Press

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5. In Praise of Kvetching

Encourage others, and be a role
model for creative kvetching.

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Between Middlebelt & 14 Mile Rd.
Farmington Hills

248)
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8/31
2001

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