a short marriage is not necessarily a
Failed marriage.
"Some relationships aren't meant to
live a lifetime," explains De Angelis,
who maintains she can enjoy intimacy
without analysis, despite her work.
"They are meant to take people as far
as they can go together, perhaps
because each has grown in a different
direction or changed tremendously.
"A relationship is successful because
of the love people have experienced
and because of how they became bet-
ter people, not because of how many
years it exists. I know people who've
been married 50 years and made
everyone miserable."
De Angelis, who vas confirmed,
considers herself more spiritual than
religious. She credits Judaism for
instilling the values of learning and
trying ro do good, but she does not
believe any of her own marriages were
affected one way or another if the par-
ticular husband happened to be Jewish
(several of the five were).
"My parents never put pressure on
me to marry a Jewish man," De
Angelis says. "They just wanted me to
be happy. Because they never had an
issue with that, I never particularly
noticed what somebody was or wasn't.
"If you have a great relationship
with somebody, you share the same
values. If another person can be Jewish
and you're Jewish, that's great, but if
you still have a lot of incompatibility
emotionally, I think the fact that
you're both Jewish isn't going to over-
ride the other issues.
"It's the emotion-1 compatibility
which ultimately is going to make you
happy in a relationship. I've met very
shut-down men who were Jewish and
many open men who weren't."
De Angelis labels her approach as
compassionate and credits Judaism for
that. She also thinks of herself as an
original.
"I never research with other people's
material, and that's why I have no
footnotes or bibliography," she says.
"The creative process is all mine, and I
believe I've been gifted to have a par-
ticular way to look in depth and
understand things in a way perhaps
other people haven't." ❑

Love Secrets with Barbara De
Angelis: What Women Want Men
to Know will be broadcast on

WTVS-Channel 56 at 8 p.m.
Tuesday, Aug. 7; 1 p.m.
Wednesday, Aug. 5; 12:45 a.m.
Saturday, Aug. 11; and 1 p.m.
Tuesday, Aug.14.

An Instruction
Booklet
For The
Opposite Sex

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