Life's Journeys
A message from Dottie Deremo,
President/CEO, Hospice of Michigan
TOBIN
from page 30
.
ries and half of Jerusalem was just a
step toward a "fair solution" and not
nearly enough. He also termed Arafat's
war nothing more than the predictable
result of the failure to push Israel into
even greater concessions.
This significant article debunks the
myth that the Clinton White House
was the most pro-Israel in history. It
should also alert American supporters
of Israel to the daunting task they face
in the months ahead. Israel is now in a
crisis situation with no peace option in
sight, and with the prospect of an
ongoing campaign by its foes to dele-
gitimize its positions and its ability to
defend itself.
And that's where the organized
American Jewish community comes in.
What is needed is a clear counterof-
fensive to explain the justice and the
necessity of Israel's stands on the con-
flict. This is also a task that will
require media-savvy creativity that will
put forward more than history lectures
(as much as such information is need-
ed). It will require Jewish leaders to
reignite the connection that ordinary
Jews feel with Israel, and it must disa-
buse them of the notion that Israel
needs no help from the diaspora.
That is a tall order. Given the inabil-
ity of the Conference — or anybody
else — to frame a coherent message
about Israel to the public, it may strain
credulity to imagine that it is possible.
Pro-Israel information projects were
proposed continuously for the past 20
years, only to be torpedoed by the
arrogance of Israel's foreign-policy
establishment and the complacency of
American Jews.
Nevertheless, it's not too late to start
repairing the damage. Plans are afoot
for just such a national campaign to be
launched this fall by the United Jewish
Communities, the New York City-
based umbrella for North American
federations. Proposed projects, such as
involving American Jews in paying for
the bulletproofing of Israeli school
buses and spearheading a dramatic
information campaign, hold promise.
But it remains to be seen whether
American Jewish leaders have the guts
or the vision to really unite behind
Israel. It is also uncertain that they can
do so without watering down the mes-
sage to please an unrepentant Jewish
left, something that would render the
project largely useless.
But true leadership will require
those who pretend to the title to speak
up boldly and without fear in order to
defend Israel in the current crisis. The
verdict of Jewish history toward those
who fail this test will not be kind. ❑
recent review i n The Detroit
Jewish News described
Leonard Fein's newly pub-
lished book, "Against the Dying of the
Light," a journal in which he recounts
memories of a beloved 30-year-old
daughter and the agonizing grief that
followed her sudden death.
Fein's story is presented as a
"winding path from despair to
healing." Writing it undoubtedly
brought catharsis and comfort. But
not everyone can express feeling .s as
eloquently as Fein, a distinguished
columnist and lecturer. Many experi-
encing the death of a loved one, be
it anticipated or unexpected, are
overwhelmed by the range of
emotions that descend like a
thunderstorm.
Grief affects us physically, emo-
tionally, mentally and spiritually.
Shock, denial, numbness, tears,
disorganization, fear, anxiety, anger,
guilt, loneliness and depression are
inevitable. Physical symptoms such
as sleep disturbances, weight and
appetite changes, weakness and
fatigue and lowered resistance to ill-
ness often accompany this emotional
suffering.
For married couples, suddenly
facing life without a life partner can
seem daunting. All of this suggests
that death does not close the curtain
for the living. Death may mean the
end of the life, but it is not the end
of the relationship.
At Hospice of Michigan we recog-
nize our help is needed after death
as well as before. Our grief support
services begin as life ebbs and con-
tinue for the 13 months that follow.
Our grief support counselors in
Oakland County—Pat Albaum and
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Margie Cron—see that families are
contacted by phone and informed
about programs that might serve
their needs.
"Death may mean the end
of the life, but it is not the
end of the relationship." -
For some, seminars and support
groups offer solace; others prefer
one-on-one counseling. There are
special programs appropriate for
children and youth. Families who
have consulted Hospice receive
mailings at regular intervals to know
they are not forgotten. Our grief
support staff also offer programs for
anyone in the community who is
experiencing grief, whether or not
their loved one received services
from Hospice of Michigan.
At a time when human contact
seems diminished, how comforting to
know that our counselors say they
frequently have become personally
enriched by their experiences with
patients and their families. Pat Albaum
meets regularly with a patient whose
body is failing; yet to Pat's wonder,
the woman continues to offer
wisdom. "It's like I am living
`Tuesdays with Morrie,'" Pat says
about her visits with this patient.
Our Jewish liaison, Bobbie Blitz,
often finds herself at the funeral of
Hospice patients. It is not part of her
job description. She just feels the
need to be there. Margie Cron has
found she can bring comfort with
music. Visits from our rabbi, Bunny
Freedman, bring a spiritual peace for
many of our patients.
Since the hospice movement
began a little more than 20 years ago,
grief support has been a vital part of
holistic hospice care. Yet neither
Medicare, Medicaid or private insur-
ance companies reimburse hospices
for bereavement services. Generous
contributions make it possible for us
to offer these services to those who
need help in coping with death. Like
Leonard Fein, we believe there can be
healing even after the deepest despair.
You may also be interested in a new
book, "Lost and Found," published by
local authors, P. Mark Accettura and
Steven J. Case. It provides practical
information for widows and widowers
and includes a chapter I wrote on
coping with the grief of the death of
a spouse. The book is available online
at www.lostandfoundspouse.com , or
from the publisher, Collinwood Press,
LLC, 35055 W. Twelve Mile Road, Ste.
132, Farmington Hills, MI 48331. A
portion of the proceeds from the
sale of the book benefit Hospice of
Michigan.
To learn more about our Jewish
Hospice program, call Bobbie Blitz,
our Jewish liaison specialist at
248-253-2580, ext. 4543. For grief
support services, call 248-559-9209.
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7/20
2001
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