'se
courage in the face of Arab terrorism.
He replies that he can't take responsi-
bility for sending other people's chil-
dren into danger.
Although his own previous public
criticisms, both of the Orthodox and
of the Israeli government, have
painfully increased our people's dis-
unity though the years and have,
more recently, caused immeasurable
harm to this country during its pres-
ent crisis, it seems to me unfair to
fault him on this occasion. Rabbi
Yoffie may be Reform; Esther (I just
ran into her yesterday, at the super-
market) may be Orthodox. But both
are parents, responsible Jewish par-
ents, and therefore subject to the
self-doubts, fears and harrowing deci-
sion-making that any responsible
parent knows only too well. Making
decisions for other people's children, I
imagine, must provide him with .a
unique brand of agony.
Ascertaining statistical risk is an
ambiguous business. Is the current
intifada such that children are in
more danger here than they are from
earthquakes in Los Angeles, freeways
in Long Island, or Ecstasy dealers in
the suburbs? We who see the daily
situation firsthand obviously think
not. Otherwise, the Torah command-
ment to guard our lives would have
obligated us to leave long ago.
Danger is intrinsic to human life on
the planet. If we design our existence
around the futile effort to evade it,
we expose our children to the great-
est danger of all: a life devoid of trust
in God.
I'm forever thankful we stayed here
during the Gulf War. That act of faith
did strengthen us in unforeseen ways.
Most of our children — one of them
is a mother now herself— are adults
making their own decisions. Their
roots are here, and I'm glad beyond
words, and there's nowhere else I want-
to be, or want them to be. But back
in 1990, if my husband had just given
the nod, I would have forgotten my
pride, and my faith, and anything else
that seemed to threaten their safety. I
would have scooped up the kids — as
my parents were begging us to do
and gotten out on the first available
flight.
Who can judge others when it
comes to the lives of children? A
worried parent — even an unduly
worried parent — might well expect
his brethren to empathize, not criti-
cize. ❑
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2001
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